(no subject)
it's been 3 years since my last real relationship. i dont look back at it with hate or regret, and i dont hate him or regret him. as a matter of fact i'm happy for him now and i still talk to him.
but, i am sad. i'm lonely and sad.
i have two great friends that i see on a regular basis, but not really hang out with on a daily basis... as much as friends are supposed to be better than boyfriends and what not, sometimes they just dont make the cut it. dont get me wrong i love my friends, i can talk to them about the cute guy at the mall or complain about a bad hair cut, but even if my best friend were a guy its not like id want to hold his hand and whatnot, it just isnt the same, ya know?
i'm not desperate, i just wish i had someone to hang out with on a friday night like ashley and jenni do. i'm tired of sitting at home and watching movies by myself. yea you could say im jealous, and everyone says "he'll show up one day".
but when is that "one day" theyve been telling me this for 3 years. and granted it cheers me up for the moment when im in that dream land of mr. right being out there somewhere and its just not time for me to meet him. but i'm tired of going on petty dates where they will eventually stop talking to me, or come up with lame excuses on why not to hang out with me.
i'm tired of a lot of things.
and i should be excited that i have a new job that i'll probably stay at for 3 or 4 months and get tired of it.
and a new hair cut. until it grows out and i cut it about the same time i get a new job. thats how its been so far. new job new haircut.
and a new crush even, but will it really go anywhere? or am i just setting myself up for a few weeks of fun and then a big let down?
sometimes i wish it were as easy as picking up everything and moving. and starting over fresh. unfortunately that involves money and thats a whole other story...
but, i am sad. i'm lonely and sad.
i have two great friends that i see on a regular basis, but not really hang out with on a daily basis... as much as friends are supposed to be better than boyfriends and what not, sometimes they just dont make the cut it. dont get me wrong i love my friends, i can talk to them about the cute guy at the mall or complain about a bad hair cut, but even if my best friend were a guy its not like id want to hold his hand and whatnot, it just isnt the same, ya know?
i'm not desperate, i just wish i had someone to hang out with on a friday night like ashley and jenni do. i'm tired of sitting at home and watching movies by myself. yea you could say im jealous, and everyone says "he'll show up one day".
but when is that "one day" theyve been telling me this for 3 years. and granted it cheers me up for the moment when im in that dream land of mr. right being out there somewhere and its just not time for me to meet him. but i'm tired of going on petty dates where they will eventually stop talking to me, or come up with lame excuses on why not to hang out with me.
i'm tired of a lot of things.
and i should be excited that i have a new job that i'll probably stay at for 3 or 4 months and get tired of it.
and a new hair cut. until it grows out and i cut it about the same time i get a new job. thats how its been so far. new job new haircut.
and a new crush even, but will it really go anywhere? or am i just setting myself up for a few weeks of fun and then a big let down?
sometimes i wish it were as easy as picking up everything and moving. and starting over fresh. unfortunately that involves money and thats a whole other story...