there could have been something i said last night

[thispigflys]

tonight was one of those nights you didn't want to be alone and that a person wants to feel loved and not like they are being a burden or some annoyance.

it is frustrating when your bed seems foreign.

and you can't get words out

and all you want is for someone to pick up their phone and you begine to halucinate taht you hear the chimes of an incoming call and you still check even though you clearly don't see the lights that mean someone hasn't forgotten you exsist.

and that everything you do seems fake
a wax mask hidding true intentions

and you act happy and you smile and you laugh and you go out and try to find somethinig to fill a void.
but nothing exsists
nothing not even pittle-pattle of conversation. when all you want is for certain people to yell out and act on their true feelings that you aren't suppose to remeber or expect but you do.
and the only people that do that make you feel queezy and uncomfortable.

and let you cry into their arms even though there are no tears and even though it seems like you aren't crying for any real reason.

and in the end you have no one to hold you and be strong for you.