Do you know what it feels like to be forgotten?
I cant even begin to describe how i feel right now. Forgotten, sad, disapointed, upset, betrayed? Do you know what it feels like to go to the movies get there and end up bein 5 minutes late for a movie so u buy tickets and its for the show that begins in an hour instead. It was freezing and i called and asked my mom to bring me a hoodie cuz i was freezing. She said no that she wasnt comin to the movies which is like 2 minutes driving time from my house until she had to come pick us up. So then when the movies over finally at like 1 somethin in the morning i call my mom and she says she'll be on her way. 15 minutes later still no mom. So i call her back. She says she forgot and says shes leavin and shes on her way. More time passes and i sit outside with sam at the deserted theatre freezing cuz i dont have a jacket or anything. So i call her back. Then she says "oh well i thought somone else was picking you up?" what the fuck? after she said she was comin and pickin us up all those times. So then she said shes on her way again. Still no mom 10 minutes later so we start walking. I try to call a bunch of times and she doesnt answer. To walk back home means crossing 301 and walking past walmart aka mexican central. I cannot even begin to describe to you how unsafe i felt. Guys even rolled down their windows at us as they drove by once or twice. Seriously i called her like 5 more times but once we got to my neighborhood i gave up. So finally we get to my house. both cars are in the driveway and i ring the doorbell like a million times. She finally comes to the door and doesnt say anything. I yell at her and am so upset and i cant even describe how i felt. let alone how i still feel. She didnt say anything. I took my cellphone out of my pocket and threw it on the floor so hard i didnt think it would work at all anymore. I yelled at her and cried "how do u think that makes me feel knowing my own mother forgot me" and all this other stuff. So i go outside by myself for like a half hour and sit there and cry. Finally i come back inside. Do you think she said anything? No she was fast asleep. I went to the bathroom cuz i had to pee really bad ever since we left the movie theatre and started walking. and i was freezing. felt so unsafe in was unreal. And knowing the whole time she had forgotten me. her own daughter. how do u think i feel? i feel so unloved right now its not even funny. Who the fuck in their right mind would do that to someone? even their own daughter. my mom. after she had said when her dad forgot her and was an hour late pickin her up from school when she was younger tellin me how she could never and would never do that to her kids. my mom. I hope shes proud of herself. its fucking christmas eve and has been since it turned 12 while the movie was still on. this is a wonderful way to start off my christmas now i cannot even begin to tell you. Maybe if someone did take me or kidnap me she wouldnt of cared. or maybe she just woulda forgotten. never know. I just cant believe my mom would do this and im so sorry for rambling on about this. I just am so hurt by this right now. And if it wasnt for Sam who was with me and spending the night again tonight as she did last night then i dunno what i woulda done. Yeah well i guess i will shut up now since noones gonna read this far anyways but just for the record today we went down to the condo where my aunt is stayin while shes visiting and that was boring. It was funny tho because of these kids we saw there and how we fell in the sand after trying to get away from the incoming waves or w/e u wanna call them. we went to sarasota square and once again 3x now at the mall surprisingly i bought nothing. We did get some food tho which was tasty. But yeah i backed outta goin back to the condo tonight with some of my family cuz it woulda been boring.luckily enough it was ok with my dad since i was gonna be seeing all of them except one person tomorrow night. so we went back to my house and this was the hightlight of my day: we dressed up and walked around my block like idiots. Well i wore flip flops and Regular jeans like always but i wore this thing grey zip up hoodie all the way zipped up with the hood up and had this black over sure thing on with all the buttons buttoned up and the coller flipped up. And i also had a yellow bandana around my face. haha i was a ninja person. and i was just soo hott. And i also had on this one thing but its hard to describe. Sam wore this red zip up hooded thing and this pink scarf and a grim reeper mask my brother wore for halloween. we were such sights it was sooo funny.i took like 3 pictures. highlight of my day thats for sure. Yeah but anyways sam dyed my hair last night. its dark and in the light it looks darkish brown and black together. i like it. Sam did a good job for it bein the first time she ever dyed hair. But yeah and i guess now ohio weather is gettin so bad my mom is questioning if we are even gonna be able to go with all the snow and ice and roads closed and everyones bein told to stay in their houses i guess and its only gettin worse. i am gonna be pissed if i dont get to go up there. But yeah i guess tomorrow im gonna be celebratin christmas with my dad and rhonda and then goin down to my grandma and grandpa's house who live about a half hour away. But i guess thats a very good thing because as of right now i do not think i can face my mom. I am so upset so i think a day away will do me some good. Im so hurt tho i dont know if or when i will ever be able to forgive her.