the elephant in the room
I am angry, empty, and insecure. I am a hopeless romantic stuck in a world where romance no longer exists. I am misunderstood. I am lied to; ignored, pointless…blah blah I am so boring I even bore me.
Where does one even begin to work things out if three or four problems are weaving in and out of one another? Parents, friends, my relationship…all of it is melting together with similar themes appearing in all of them… or are they not similar - they just seem to be because they are all happening at the same time?
I think I just can’t help to be miserable… like If I fully trust someone or allow someone to get to know the real me that it can’t really be what they say it is - they aren’t really interested because I am just some form of comfort. I am always the chill friend you want to have around to make you laugh to feel better, but where’s my chill friend? What I get in return is a slew of textbook-esque bullshit choked out like a dirty band-aid.
No one… and I mean no one knows me. There isn’t a person alive that I talk about everything with, therefore, none of you really know me. It isn’t that I’m not willing to discuss absolutely anything… no one has bothered to ask, and seems bothered when I try to share.
Here is a fun game. Which friend are you to me?
There’s the word of relationship rationale. There’s the remember when. There’s the whine and dine. There’s the distant work discussion. There’s the are you single yet? There’s the anti-parent. There’s the boy like laugh relief. There’s the media make-out.
None of them more than one or two of each of those mixed together. I assume the answer is that it’s me. But I refuse to take full credit for people self absorbed interactions….and I am really tired of being surrounded in them.
Where does one even begin to work things out if three or four problems are weaving in and out of one another? Parents, friends, my relationship…all of it is melting together with similar themes appearing in all of them… or are they not similar - they just seem to be because they are all happening at the same time?
I think I just can’t help to be miserable… like If I fully trust someone or allow someone to get to know the real me that it can’t really be what they say it is - they aren’t really interested because I am just some form of comfort. I am always the chill friend you want to have around to make you laugh to feel better, but where’s my chill friend? What I get in return is a slew of textbook-esque bullshit choked out like a dirty band-aid.
No one… and I mean no one knows me. There isn’t a person alive that I talk about everything with, therefore, none of you really know me. It isn’t that I’m not willing to discuss absolutely anything… no one has bothered to ask, and seems bothered when I try to share.
Here is a fun game. Which friend are you to me?
There’s the word of relationship rationale. There’s the remember when. There’s the whine and dine. There’s the distant work discussion. There’s the are you single yet? There’s the anti-parent. There’s the boy like laugh relief. There’s the media make-out.
None of them more than one or two of each of those mixed together. I assume the answer is that it’s me. But I refuse to take full credit for people self absorbed interactions….and I am really tired of being surrounded in them.