I just need to rant

Mar 27, 2012 01:27


It's depressing when you reached the stage of dementia. You don't even know or understand reasoning anymore. Basically you just sort of depend on your fluctuating childish emotions to do or say things. You start to forget happy things and focus on the sad and angry things. You don't even remember your loved ones or their names clearly. It's sad isn't it? And it's super difficult staying w a dementia person, under one roof, in the same room. Sometimes I just start to question her purpose of stil living. I mean there must be a reason why God stil allow her to be here still. Sigh. I don't even get to sleep peacefully at night. Things like we gotta off the air con, open the door, her vending her anger, her hitting the bed or whatever w her hands loudly and her demanding us to do stuff. Imagine if you were me. And it's driving me crazy, mentally. Everytime I shout at her, I'll feel damn guilty but I couldn't control. Argh. And don't get me wrong, i dont hate my grandma. In fact, I love her. She's the one who watched me grew up and took care of me while I was little. I just hate the fact that dementia is the reality of old age life. Oh God, I need a lot a lot a lot a lot a lot of patience and love please :(

And, I want my voice back

Posted via LiveJournal app for iPhone.

via ljapp

Previous post Next post
Up
[]