Somethings got to give
My mom and I are fighting, because well she doesn't trust me. It all started when I asked her if I could go help Nick Towe make Sam a cake for her birthday. She said I could and that was the end of it, I went on to talk to on the phone with Thomas. Later tonight I was walking to my room when she called me into hers and asked " Now tell me what are you really going to do afterschool? What do you and Brittany have planned?" That pissed me off, one for her not believing me and for two insinuating the fact that Brittany and I would have something "up our sleeve." She went on to say shes been lied to five times ( not by me by my brothers and sisters ) and that she won't have it again, and she give me everything, and I've been bitchy lately so it puts me under the spotlight. What because I've had a few bad days, and I can't really handle the stress, and I'm trying the best I can, and the fact of her always demanding demanding she knows everthing, doesn't help. I don't bug her about her life, not because I don't care, but because I hate being bothered about mine. Sure she has a right to know, but you can't feed someone the whole story if they are not apart of it. She works all the time, not her fault, its mine for needing food and things. So its hard for her to be apart of my life, but she wants to know everything, theres nothing much to my life. Nothing really at all. I wake up, go to school, come home, play on the computer, eat, and sleep. Then do it all over again everyday for five days staight. Then she wonders why I'm so eager to go out with my friends, so eager to get away from the house. She thinks its because of her, its not, but its not healthy to be somewhere for a week straight and do nothing, it can really damage a person. A person like myself. We went on to argue, then it was fine, but then I went into my room and turned on "sunday drive by the early novemeber" and she got mad because I left her room, and I was laying on my floor in the midst of tears. I can't help it if I feel like crying, and sometimes rolling over and dying, its just a part of life. I hate this. I hate the fact, that I actually have no one to turn to, I really feel like I can't talk to anyone. I really need something else. I want to disappear. Schools becoming to much for me, along with the presure, I know everyone has, but I have it different I'm the only one they focus on, and if I do badly I'm grounded, big woop right? Grounded, but I do nothing, absolutly nothing when I'm grounded. I sit in my room and analyze how unbearable my life is becoming. My moms getting suspicious because I have all these new friends I want to hang out with. Yeah okay I'm in highschool, of course I'm going to have new friends, I met them through my old ones. What, people don't change? People don't move on, and the people I once new are the only good ones? This is absolutly obsurd. I really need to get away. And I am, in any way shape or form I'm leaving this place. I have to get out, before it gets to me anymore.