[fic] The Pain of Separation
Title: The Pain of Separation
Author: candeefloss
Series: Kingdom Hearts (post-II)
Characters: Sora, Riku, Kairi, references to Axel and Roxas
Rating: G
Type: Drabble
Summary: Sora has every reason to be happy, but he feels a sadness that is not entirely his own.
Sora is swimming in the shallows when he casts his gaze out to the horizon. It's early morning, but summer, so even in the early hours of the day, it is already hot and humid - better to hit the beach before it gets too hot. As ever, the Destiny Islands dawn is beautiful, making the water shimmer crystalline red. How many days is it he's daydreamed about seeing this sunrise again? Impossible to guess. So many.
But now he's here. Now he's happy. So it is completely unexpected when he turns back to shore, seeing Riku and Kairi sitting and laughing and talking together, and a sudden knife stabs at him, cold and sad, so incredibly sad, and alone.
He doesn't feel like swimming any more. Three strokes and he's wading back onto the sand. The two of them look over briefly, Kairi smiling, “Had enough?” and he just nods and smiles back - tries to - and sits down next to her, towelling off his hair.
He gets a poke in his side, which makes him peer out at the offender. “Ow?”
“Is everything okay?” she asks, frowning. Yeah, so, he's always been pretty bad at hiding it when he feels sad.
He pulls the towel off his head, twines it between his hands, stares out at the first pale rays of sun. He doesn't know which makes him sadder: looking at them, or at that sky and sea.
“Come on, Sora. You can tell us.” And now even Riku's giving him that look. Both have always been able to see right through him.
“I dunno,” he says. “All of a sudden I just feel... Right here...” He puts a hand over his heart, not really knowing how to put it into words. There's no reason for it, he has all the reasons in the world to be happy.
“Feel what?” Kairi asks.
“Sad.”
“Sora...”
“Yeah, I know, it's weird.”
“No, it isn't,” says Riku. “Didn't you say this has happened before?”
Sora considers. And.
Oh.
Twilight Town. The World that Never Was. There aren't any memories that don't belong to him, just flashes of feeling, happiness or sadness, anger or despair, pain or joy, sometimes so strong they bleed into his own. They're one, now, and that oneness means those snatches of emotion now belong to him, too. It's something that took him a while to understand, something he's still trying to.
“I - he - misses someone. Someone important. A friend, I guess.”
“A friend...” Kairi quietens; becomes more subdued. “Axel?”
he was the only one i liked
Sora's stomach clenches. He hangs his head, and guesses from his own reaction, yes, that's exactly it, he misses someone he barely knows. This stuff is so complicated. Nobodies aren't even supposed to have feelings, so why are these so strong they're affecting him?
“Well, they were best friends.” Riku leans around Kairi, claps a hand to Sora's shoulder. “We'll just have to remind you both that you still have us.”
“Yeah, you're stuck with us.” Kairi links her arm in Sora's, and laughs a little. “Us, and your millions of other friends out there. Who knows, maybe one day, he'll...”
The world has suddenly gone very blurry and his eyes very wet, so he rubs his eyes roughly with the back of his hand. “Come back?” Sora's voice shakes. “Don't know.”
not that nobodies actually have beings, right?
“Maybe, maybe not. DiZ - Ansem the Wise - said Nobodies don't exist, but he was wrong about them. In a lot of ways.”
Kairi stands and stretches, takes a deep breath of the fresh morning air. “Yes. Riku's got a point, Sora. You and I are proof that Nobodies can carry on existing. Maybe one day, he really will come back, somehow. There's always hope, even for those without hearts.”
Sora can't quite look at them, embarrassed. Getting upset over someone he barely knows... It should feel like being a little kid again, getting sad over something stupid, trying not to cry over getting splinters in his fingers or tripping in the sand, especially around Riku - cool, calm, completely dauntless Riku. It should feel like that, but it doesn't.
he made me feel like i had
It hurts so much more. The pain of separation, one Sora knows all too well. Like watching him disappear behind a white door, like letting go of her hand, and a single desperate hope: We'll meet again.
The realisation makes him blink. Against all odds, they did meet again.
“Yeah,” he says, still rubbing his eyes and wiping his face. Then, with more conviction, as he begins to believe it: “Yeah. More unlikely things have happened. Whenever that day comes, I think I - he - can wait for it. After all, he's me.”
Riku grins and rumples Sora's still-dripping hair. “That's the Sora I know.”
“Hey, watch it!” He knocks his hand away, grinning back.
“All right,” Kairi looks down at them, and smiles. “How about another swim - together, this time? It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day.”
She isn't exaggerating. A gentle breeze stirs the trees and makes the flowers dance. Up above, a gull cries as it leaves its nest, heading out to sea. The sun is climbing higher, as the burning red sunrise begins to fade into morning skies, a shade of crushed powdery blue.
A voice whispers in Sora's ear,
i can wait.
Author: candeefloss
Series: Kingdom Hearts (post-II)
Characters: Sora, Riku, Kairi, references to Axel and Roxas
Rating: G
Type: Drabble
Summary: Sora has every reason to be happy, but he feels a sadness that is not entirely his own.
Sora is swimming in the shallows when he casts his gaze out to the horizon. It's early morning, but summer, so even in the early hours of the day, it is already hot and humid - better to hit the beach before it gets too hot. As ever, the Destiny Islands dawn is beautiful, making the water shimmer crystalline red. How many days is it he's daydreamed about seeing this sunrise again? Impossible to guess. So many.
But now he's here. Now he's happy. So it is completely unexpected when he turns back to shore, seeing Riku and Kairi sitting and laughing and talking together, and a sudden knife stabs at him, cold and sad, so incredibly sad, and alone.
He doesn't feel like swimming any more. Three strokes and he's wading back onto the sand. The two of them look over briefly, Kairi smiling, “Had enough?” and he just nods and smiles back - tries to - and sits down next to her, towelling off his hair.
He gets a poke in his side, which makes him peer out at the offender. “Ow?”
“Is everything okay?” she asks, frowning. Yeah, so, he's always been pretty bad at hiding it when he feels sad.
He pulls the towel off his head, twines it between his hands, stares out at the first pale rays of sun. He doesn't know which makes him sadder: looking at them, or at that sky and sea.
“Come on, Sora. You can tell us.” And now even Riku's giving him that look. Both have always been able to see right through him.
“I dunno,” he says. “All of a sudden I just feel... Right here...” He puts a hand over his heart, not really knowing how to put it into words. There's no reason for it, he has all the reasons in the world to be happy.
“Feel what?” Kairi asks.
“Sad.”
“Sora...”
“Yeah, I know, it's weird.”
“No, it isn't,” says Riku. “Didn't you say this has happened before?”
Sora considers. And.
Oh.
Twilight Town. The World that Never Was. There aren't any memories that don't belong to him, just flashes of feeling, happiness or sadness, anger or despair, pain or joy, sometimes so strong they bleed into his own. They're one, now, and that oneness means those snatches of emotion now belong to him, too. It's something that took him a while to understand, something he's still trying to.
“I - he - misses someone. Someone important. A friend, I guess.”
“A friend...” Kairi quietens; becomes more subdued. “Axel?”
he was the only one i liked
Sora's stomach clenches. He hangs his head, and guesses from his own reaction, yes, that's exactly it, he misses someone he barely knows. This stuff is so complicated. Nobodies aren't even supposed to have feelings, so why are these so strong they're affecting him?
“Well, they were best friends.” Riku leans around Kairi, claps a hand to Sora's shoulder. “We'll just have to remind you both that you still have us.”
“Yeah, you're stuck with us.” Kairi links her arm in Sora's, and laughs a little. “Us, and your millions of other friends out there. Who knows, maybe one day, he'll...”
The world has suddenly gone very blurry and his eyes very wet, so he rubs his eyes roughly with the back of his hand. “Come back?” Sora's voice shakes. “Don't know.”
not that nobodies actually have beings, right?
“Maybe, maybe not. DiZ - Ansem the Wise - said Nobodies don't exist, but he was wrong about them. In a lot of ways.”
Kairi stands and stretches, takes a deep breath of the fresh morning air. “Yes. Riku's got a point, Sora. You and I are proof that Nobodies can carry on existing. Maybe one day, he really will come back, somehow. There's always hope, even for those without hearts.”
Sora can't quite look at them, embarrassed. Getting upset over someone he barely knows... It should feel like being a little kid again, getting sad over something stupid, trying not to cry over getting splinters in his fingers or tripping in the sand, especially around Riku - cool, calm, completely dauntless Riku. It should feel like that, but it doesn't.
he made me feel like i had
It hurts so much more. The pain of separation, one Sora knows all too well. Like watching him disappear behind a white door, like letting go of her hand, and a single desperate hope: We'll meet again.
The realisation makes him blink. Against all odds, they did meet again.
“Yeah,” he says, still rubbing his eyes and wiping his face. Then, with more conviction, as he begins to believe it: “Yeah. More unlikely things have happened. Whenever that day comes, I think I - he - can wait for it. After all, he's me.”
Riku grins and rumples Sora's still-dripping hair. “That's the Sora I know.”
“Hey, watch it!” He knocks his hand away, grinning back.
“All right,” Kairi looks down at them, and smiles. “How about another swim - together, this time? It looks like it's going to be a beautiful day.”
She isn't exaggerating. A gentle breeze stirs the trees and makes the flowers dance. Up above, a gull cries as it leaves its nest, heading out to sea. The sun is climbing higher, as the burning red sunrise begins to fade into morning skies, a shade of crushed powdery blue.
A voice whispers in Sora's ear,
i can wait.