dsjfa;sdjf;
I've been awake for twenty minutes, and I'm already fucking pissed off at my dad. Things that would be awfully nice to say to him lately:
1) It's not my fucking fault you're running late for work, or that I have no idea what the hell you want out of me when you say "get me my neck things!"
2) I have been awake for twenty minutes. You'd think after nearly twenty-three years you'd know by now that it takes me a while to function properly. My eyes are open, yes, and I'm walking around and staring blankly at my laptop BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M FULLY AWAKE.
3) Losing weight is not the fucking miracle cure to everything.
4) You have NO RIGHT whatsoever to tell me I need to lose weight, or that I'm getting fat, or that I need to stop eating junk. Especially when the first thing I hear every time I walk in from work is "what did you get me?" FUCKING NOTHING.
5) Get a goddamn backbone, especially where your wife is concerned. Your kids aren't the only goddamn people in the world you can make demands of.
6) I can't afford to buy everything you need, because you're fucking expensive. Because, oh no, you can't just goddamn drink water! No, you have to have Gatorade and tea and several kinds of juices. Because you need the different textures. You know what I've been drinking lately? Water! Lots and lots of water and I fucking hate it! But I do it anyway because a) it's either cheap or free, and b) everything else has either too much sugar in it, or that godawful aftertaste.
7) Yes, I spent most of this weekend being lazy in my bedroom. Shit, I spent six hours on Friday just playing a video game. But, you know what? When I go to work--and I know this is shocking--I don't just fucking sit on my ass. My job isn't easy. I mean, no, it's not the hardest goddamn job in the world since I spend the majority of my time counting pills, but that's not all I fucking do, is it? Seeing as I'm the only goddamn one who will do a few things like, oh, get the outdates together, or try to put the shelves into some sort of order, and all while I'm working four ten hour days in a goddamn row. And then there's irate customers that I have to take care of, which are really emotionally draining, and my goddamn coworkers that I'm constantly having issues with, and my strange tendency to fucking bend over backwards to try to help people. So, you know what? This was like a little vacation for me. And I was treating it as such because, believe it or not, between my shit at work, the goddamn cavities in my mouth that are in enough pain that I can barely focus on anything, the various other problems I have that I actually never goddamn mention (mostly because they might be serious and keep me out of work), the emotional AND financial drain you and mom insist on putting on me, and my one friend that keeps insisting I drive out to fucking Bellmawr to goddamn drink with her, YES, I DO FUCKING NEED A LITTLE VACATION.
8) My pain? That's real. I don't randomly tell you that my mouth hurts or, god forbid, my legs hurt (which they do, almost constantly these days--them and my side) for you to just look at me like I'm stupid and tell me to exercise more (like you ever goddamn do!) Telling me "oh, you're young, you'll get over it" or "I don't care, I can barely goddamn stand" DOESN'T FUCKING HELP.
9) In a similar vein: don't expect me to care about your pain when you don't care about mine.
10) You are not fucking claiming me on your taxes this year. Actually, I did tell him this already, and he told me that he could because I'm not twenty-three yet. Well guess fucking what? I have debt to pay off, and I do the fucking taxes, don't I? So, no, you're not fucking claiming me.
11) I have my own life to live, and my own needs to take care of! I can't fucking keep living and funding yours too!
And. And there's so much more I could probably add on to this, but I'm sick of bitching about it. It's not goddamn helping this time, just making me more goddamn aggravated, and I'm so sick of this shit it isn't even funny.
(This is the mood I'm in most of the time any more. Just silently seething about everything, and everyone is always expecting more and more out of me, and I CAN'T KEEP THIS UP. One of these days I'm either just going to drop from stress, or I'm going to explode. And well, the most I can think about either one is that it serves him fucking right.)
1) It's not my fucking fault you're running late for work, or that I have no idea what the hell you want out of me when you say "get me my neck things!"
2) I have been awake for twenty minutes. You'd think after nearly twenty-three years you'd know by now that it takes me a while to function properly. My eyes are open, yes, and I'm walking around and staring blankly at my laptop BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN I'M FULLY AWAKE.
3) Losing weight is not the fucking miracle cure to everything.
4) You have NO RIGHT whatsoever to tell me I need to lose weight, or that I'm getting fat, or that I need to stop eating junk. Especially when the first thing I hear every time I walk in from work is "what did you get me?" FUCKING NOTHING.
5) Get a goddamn backbone, especially where your wife is concerned. Your kids aren't the only goddamn people in the world you can make demands of.
6) I can't afford to buy everything you need, because you're fucking expensive. Because, oh no, you can't just goddamn drink water! No, you have to have Gatorade and tea and several kinds of juices. Because you need the different textures. You know what I've been drinking lately? Water! Lots and lots of water and I fucking hate it! But I do it anyway because a) it's either cheap or free, and b) everything else has either too much sugar in it, or that godawful aftertaste.
7) Yes, I spent most of this weekend being lazy in my bedroom. Shit, I spent six hours on Friday just playing a video game. But, you know what? When I go to work--and I know this is shocking--I don't just fucking sit on my ass. My job isn't easy. I mean, no, it's not the hardest goddamn job in the world since I spend the majority of my time counting pills, but that's not all I fucking do, is it? Seeing as I'm the only goddamn one who will do a few things like, oh, get the outdates together, or try to put the shelves into some sort of order, and all while I'm working four ten hour days in a goddamn row. And then there's irate customers that I have to take care of, which are really emotionally draining, and my goddamn coworkers that I'm constantly having issues with, and my strange tendency to fucking bend over backwards to try to help people. So, you know what? This was like a little vacation for me. And I was treating it as such because, believe it or not, between my shit at work, the goddamn cavities in my mouth that are in enough pain that I can barely focus on anything, the various other problems I have that I actually never goddamn mention (mostly because they might be serious and keep me out of work), the emotional AND financial drain you and mom insist on putting on me, and my one friend that keeps insisting I drive out to fucking Bellmawr to goddamn drink with her, YES, I DO FUCKING NEED A LITTLE VACATION.
8) My pain? That's real. I don't randomly tell you that my mouth hurts or, god forbid, my legs hurt (which they do, almost constantly these days--them and my side) for you to just look at me like I'm stupid and tell me to exercise more (like you ever goddamn do!) Telling me "oh, you're young, you'll get over it" or "I don't care, I can barely goddamn stand" DOESN'T FUCKING HELP.
9) In a similar vein: don't expect me to care about your pain when you don't care about mine.
10) You are not fucking claiming me on your taxes this year. Actually, I did tell him this already, and he told me that he could because I'm not twenty-three yet. Well guess fucking what? I have debt to pay off, and I do the fucking taxes, don't I? So, no, you're not fucking claiming me.
11) I have my own life to live, and my own needs to take care of! I can't fucking keep living and funding yours too!
And. And there's so much more I could probably add on to this, but I'm sick of bitching about it. It's not goddamn helping this time, just making me more goddamn aggravated, and I'm so sick of this shit it isn't even funny.
(This is the mood I'm in most of the time any more. Just silently seething about everything, and everyone is always expecting more and more out of me, and I CAN'T KEEP THIS UP. One of these days I'm either just going to drop from stress, or I'm going to explode. And well, the most I can think about either one is that it serves him fucking right.)