it's a nice day to. start agaaaiiin~
Sooo pretty much as of today I've officially given up on my 1001 days list. Why is this? BECAUSE I FEEL LIKE IT, THAT'S WHY. And also because I'm well aware that I have absolutely no chance of completing even a quarter of what's on that list, let alone all of it. On the bright side, I do have plans to make a new list...but not until June. There are, as you might expect, a few reasons for this, and I'm not going to tell them to the internet at large.
If any of you have the slightest inclination to yell at me for deciding this (or, even worse, telling me I could do it if I really put my mind to it or some other inane bullshit like that), fuck off. And don't ask me what my reasons are either.
Pretty soonish, I'm going to go through both of my journals for original writing and start deleting entries (after, of course, saving the contents of said entries in like five different places). This is, you guessed it, another one of those decisions that Thou Shalt Not Question.
In news of things that I'm not quitting/destroying~
In case you're wondering, my thoughts of 'trying to write more' are still...uh. Being processed? Well, I'm still trying to decide a couple of things, like what to actually write and how much to write in how much amount of time and all that. I'm going to make these decisions (hopefully) by the end of this month, and try to dedicate this month to a few other important things (some of which you guys are, once again, not privy to). I'm thinking of attempting to write somewhere between ten thousand and twenty thousand words per month and, much to the disappointment of probably a lot of you, it's most likely going to be fanfiction. (Hey, look, something I'll actually explain!) I really want to get most of these fics the hell out of my head, half because most of them are pretty horrifically out of date (canon-wise), and half because I feel like they're getting in the way of what I really want to be doing. Besides that, I'm pretty horrifically unsatisfied with the way I write currently--not just the sheer amount of time it takes me to get anything done, but the rather terrible end product I get out of it. Really, the majority of what I write is utter shit, I don't even care how many of you disagree with me about that. I know I can try harder and do better, but I probably won't even manage to do that until I can stop telling myself "well it's just fanfiction, who even cares?" (As if certain published works are any better.) So, yeah, if I can just throw out all the stuff I don't see any reason to really care about while polishing my style, then I can more comfortably move on to the things I'd put actual effort in to.
And, on a final note for tonight (as I need to get some sleep soon for work tomorrow): I have once again started up my sentence-a-day journal. I'm going to try to remember to post the sentence on here each night before I go to sleep, although I can't really guarantee I'll do that (I may write the sentence in the journal after shutting off my laptop, for instance). Some of these sentences are going to end up being cryptic to you guys again. Depending on how I'm feeling, I may counteract that with a small explanation or at least a note about what I'm referring to but, again, that won't be a constant. Sometimes I just won't want anyone to know what I'm talking about, so yeah. ANYWAY. I'm going to end this entry with tonight's sentence (plus small explanation), and then get my ass in bed~
"Brand new year, same old shit." (More of a sentence fragment than a sentence, of course, but that's perfectly allowed because sometimes you just have to tell grammar to go fuck itself BUT ANYWAY. This sentence is mostly aimed towards work, and partly towards the same old fucking issues of MY CAR NOT GODDAMN STARTING, and isn't actually meant to be a 'woe is me' moment. It's just an observation. Because nothing does change, does it? Siiigh.)
If any of you have the slightest inclination to yell at me for deciding this (or, even worse, telling me I could do it if I really put my mind to it or some other inane bullshit like that), fuck off. And don't ask me what my reasons are either.
Pretty soonish, I'm going to go through both of my journals for original writing and start deleting entries (after, of course, saving the contents of said entries in like five different places). This is, you guessed it, another one of those decisions that Thou Shalt Not Question.
In news of things that I'm not quitting/destroying~
In case you're wondering, my thoughts of 'trying to write more' are still...uh. Being processed? Well, I'm still trying to decide a couple of things, like what to actually write and how much to write in how much amount of time and all that. I'm going to make these decisions (hopefully) by the end of this month, and try to dedicate this month to a few other important things (some of which you guys are, once again, not privy to). I'm thinking of attempting to write somewhere between ten thousand and twenty thousand words per month and, much to the disappointment of probably a lot of you, it's most likely going to be fanfiction. (Hey, look, something I'll actually explain!) I really want to get most of these fics the hell out of my head, half because most of them are pretty horrifically out of date (canon-wise), and half because I feel like they're getting in the way of what I really want to be doing. Besides that, I'm pretty horrifically unsatisfied with the way I write currently--not just the sheer amount of time it takes me to get anything done, but the rather terrible end product I get out of it. Really, the majority of what I write is utter shit, I don't even care how many of you disagree with me about that. I know I can try harder and do better, but I probably won't even manage to do that until I can stop telling myself "well it's just fanfiction, who even cares?" (As if certain published works are any better.) So, yeah, if I can just throw out all the stuff I don't see any reason to really care about while polishing my style, then I can more comfortably move on to the things I'd put actual effort in to.
And, on a final note for tonight (as I need to get some sleep soon for work tomorrow): I have once again started up my sentence-a-day journal. I'm going to try to remember to post the sentence on here each night before I go to sleep, although I can't really guarantee I'll do that (I may write the sentence in the journal after shutting off my laptop, for instance). Some of these sentences are going to end up being cryptic to you guys again. Depending on how I'm feeling, I may counteract that with a small explanation or at least a note about what I'm referring to but, again, that won't be a constant. Sometimes I just won't want anyone to know what I'm talking about, so yeah. ANYWAY. I'm going to end this entry with tonight's sentence (plus small explanation), and then get my ass in bed~
"Brand new year, same old shit." (More of a sentence fragment than a sentence, of course, but that's perfectly allowed because sometimes you just have to tell grammar to go fuck itself BUT ANYWAY. This sentence is mostly aimed towards work, and partly towards the same old fucking issues of MY CAR NOT GODDAMN STARTING, and isn't actually meant to be a 'woe is me' moment. It's just an observation. Because nothing does change, does it? Siiigh.)