(no subject)

Apr 12, 2003 00:53

today was possibly one of the crappiest days in so long. it started off with the excess amounts of car troubles. when its all said and done im looking at almost a grand to fix all of the problems. sweet deal. my alternator is dead so my car is sitting in the garage. fun times for sure.

im once again going thru one of my "faggot" phases. its been a little while so its overdue. there was wrong doings on my part as well. some things are just not meant to be and there is nothing i can do within my control to change things for the better. i wish the people involved would realize how badly this hurts me. in a way i feel betrayed by my friends who let this shit happen. i mean how often is it that a girl comes around that actually means something to me. it may seem like a lot but no, its just usually one girl for a longer period of time. i guess realizing that the situation never had anything set in stone and there was no realistic chance to ever have it become something i wanted, would have prevented things. but being a friend to me and putting something aside would have at least showed how much what we have means.

i know im dramatic and im just "drama" as you tell me but i cant help how i feel. im sorry for everything i have done to everyone and all the problems i have caused.

i drank too much amp tonight and now im sitting here wide awake thinking about stupid shit. im getting off this thing before i get myself into more shit. xxx
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