I read a lot of fic but this is the first time I can recall reading one with such a fleshed-out, real-world-feeling Jongdae.
How many people do we see in our daily lives who are living Jongdae's life in the beginning of the fic - someone dog-paddling on the surface of despair, pretending they're not tired of holding their head above water, mistaking self-destructive behavior for entertainment.
I kept thinking of Baekhyun, watching Jongdae and feeling helpless as Jongdae slid under the surface, wanting to save a friend who didn't care enough to save himself.
How strange it must have been for Jongdae to comprehend Junmyeon's kindness and respect for Jongdae; self-love is required before a person can receive love from another. Jongdae was too scarred (and too scared) at first to realize he was worthy. Thank goodness Baekhyun did not give up on him and forced Jongdae to realize that it's okay to admit that things are not "okay" when they truly aren't.
And don't we all hope that our Junmyeon is out there somewhere........
Like the other commenters, I lost my shit in places - the "I'll miss you" conversation and the scene at the graveyard with Jongdae & Jongin. The Minseok dinner when Jongdae realizes that he deserves better than this fucked-up man that he used to love. The scene when Jongdae throws away his past with Yixing except for the sheet music. The whole last section when Jongdae's life becomes calm and quiet, when he realizes that by being still and letting go -instead of dog-paddling - he can float to the surface.
Thank you, authornim. I should be cursing you for making me ugly cry (snot and tears and smeared make-up) but thankfully I was at home alone so no one saw the carnage.
There are writers who write about feelings and then there are those who make you actually feel through their writing. Congratulations - it's a very rare gift.
I'm really touched you felt this way, because I was trying my hardest to do just that - portray Jongdae as person with real feelings in all senses, the way we all really are. So yeah, this comment just really [cries] thank you ;; Thank you so, so much for your comment. This really means a lot to me ;_; <3
How many people do we see in our daily lives who are living Jongdae's life in the beginning of the fic - someone dog-paddling on the surface of despair, pretending they're not tired of holding their head above water, mistaking self-destructive behavior for entertainment.
I kept thinking of Baekhyun, watching Jongdae and feeling helpless as Jongdae slid under the surface, wanting to save a friend who didn't care enough to save himself.
How strange it must have been for Jongdae to comprehend Junmyeon's kindness and respect for Jongdae; self-love is required before a person can receive love from another. Jongdae was too scarred (and too scared) at first to realize he was worthy. Thank goodness Baekhyun did not give up on him and forced Jongdae to realize that it's okay to admit that things are not "okay" when they truly aren't.
And don't we all hope that our Junmyeon is out there somewhere........
Like the other commenters, I lost my shit in places - the "I'll miss you" conversation and the scene at the graveyard with Jongdae & Jongin. The Minseok dinner when Jongdae realizes that he deserves better than this fucked-up man that he used to love. The scene when Jongdae throws away his past with Yixing except for the sheet music. The whole last section when Jongdae's life becomes calm and quiet, when he realizes that by being still and letting go -instead of dog-paddling - he can float to the surface.
Thank you, authornim. I should be cursing you for making me ugly cry (snot and tears and smeared make-up) but thankfully I was at home alone so no one saw the carnage.
There are writers who write about feelings and then there are those who make you actually feel through their writing. Congratulations - it's a very rare gift.
*90 degree bow in your general direction*
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