More reflection
2007 is gone, done and over with. I'm back at school again, and sitting in an empty room--my roommate hasn't gotten back yet, nor have the majority of my friends--so of course I'm left to nothing but my thoughts. That's never a good thing. The year had it's ups and downs, but I learned a lot, but not really from my classes.
My sister graduated college. I can't imagine how weird it is for her, but I know it's weird to me. She has to get a real job now, fend for herself, no more mom and dad to make things better. It's hard for me to process, because I've never seen my sister as that much older than me, she's only 28 months older, so I feel like that's going to happen to me sooner than I'll be ready for it. Heck, I've not even decided what my business major is going to be. I have about a month to do so. But gosh, isn't the real world scary? Just the thought of it?
Yes, away at college I've learned to take care of myself, to be independent, but not quite financially. My parents still pay for everything but the luxuries, well, they still pay some of that too. For instance, study abroad trip to Oxford this summer--Merry Christmas to me, Mom and Dad are paying. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful beyond belief! The thought of having to take out student loans to pay for it myself was not given a warm welcome. I know my parents work their asses off providing for my sisters and me and it's not cheap. I know it's what they want to do, and I honestly feel that I don't ask for much from my parents (I never asked them to pay for my study abroad) but I've also never had to ask, it's just always been provided. My dad works hard so my mom could stay home to take care of my sisters and me. He goes through lots of stress and doesn't always like his job, but he does it for us, so that we won't go without. He's always wanted to to have everything, but sometimes I wonder how good that is in the long run. The truth is, I do have a job and I use my money when I go out with friends, but I don't know what it's like to REALLY have to work to survive, I've no idea. So I think part of the reason the real world, the working world scares me is that I know I won't be able to live the life I've had for 20+ years, at least not at first. Those simple luxuries, dining out every Friday, going shopping whenever, new shoes, they won't be there in a few years. Am I going to be able to handle it? I've been so spoiled, how will I feel when I don't have these things? Hah, all these thoughts just from my sister graduating.
Oh--I also gained a brother this year. Bet you didn't know you could get one of those at college? He's great, I promise. We argue like we really were brother and sister. Except the strange thing, I dont' think a biological brother would constantly try to hook me up with someone. You'd think he'd be telling me to stay away from boys instead of telling me every day that I need a boyfriend. Well, at least that's the picture of brothers I get from t.v. and movies.
I think the most important thing that's happened this year is that I've learned what's most important to me. My family and friends; well, let's be serious here, your friends (at least your best friends) are part of your family. I've really been able to step back this year and see how much my family means to me. My mom is one of the greatest people I know, my dad would do anything for me no many how many fights we get into, and my sisters are two of my best friends. Family, to me at least, is probably the most important thing in my life, well, second to only God. I think what I've figured out is that no matter what I do with my life in regards to an occupation, I know that my vocation will be as a wife and a mother. I've seen, no, I've felt the impact that my family has in me and I think that the greatest success in life would be to have a happy and healthy family.
There are still a plethora of thoughts spinning through my head, but I'll stop here since this exceeds most people's attention span already. But alas, there is still the subject of heartbreak that I mentioned last entry. It still stands that maybe I'll talk about that next time.
Inspiration for the day: "Never regret something that once made you smile."
My sister graduated college. I can't imagine how weird it is for her, but I know it's weird to me. She has to get a real job now, fend for herself, no more mom and dad to make things better. It's hard for me to process, because I've never seen my sister as that much older than me, she's only 28 months older, so I feel like that's going to happen to me sooner than I'll be ready for it. Heck, I've not even decided what my business major is going to be. I have about a month to do so. But gosh, isn't the real world scary? Just the thought of it?
Yes, away at college I've learned to take care of myself, to be independent, but not quite financially. My parents still pay for everything but the luxuries, well, they still pay some of that too. For instance, study abroad trip to Oxford this summer--Merry Christmas to me, Mom and Dad are paying. Don't get me wrong, I am grateful beyond belief! The thought of having to take out student loans to pay for it myself was not given a warm welcome. I know my parents work their asses off providing for my sisters and me and it's not cheap. I know it's what they want to do, and I honestly feel that I don't ask for much from my parents (I never asked them to pay for my study abroad) but I've also never had to ask, it's just always been provided. My dad works hard so my mom could stay home to take care of my sisters and me. He goes through lots of stress and doesn't always like his job, but he does it for us, so that we won't go without. He's always wanted to to have everything, but sometimes I wonder how good that is in the long run. The truth is, I do have a job and I use my money when I go out with friends, but I don't know what it's like to REALLY have to work to survive, I've no idea. So I think part of the reason the real world, the working world scares me is that I know I won't be able to live the life I've had for 20+ years, at least not at first. Those simple luxuries, dining out every Friday, going shopping whenever, new shoes, they won't be there in a few years. Am I going to be able to handle it? I've been so spoiled, how will I feel when I don't have these things? Hah, all these thoughts just from my sister graduating.
Oh--I also gained a brother this year. Bet you didn't know you could get one of those at college? He's great, I promise. We argue like we really were brother and sister. Except the strange thing, I dont' think a biological brother would constantly try to hook me up with someone. You'd think he'd be telling me to stay away from boys instead of telling me every day that I need a boyfriend. Well, at least that's the picture of brothers I get from t.v. and movies.
I think the most important thing that's happened this year is that I've learned what's most important to me. My family and friends; well, let's be serious here, your friends (at least your best friends) are part of your family. I've really been able to step back this year and see how much my family means to me. My mom is one of the greatest people I know, my dad would do anything for me no many how many fights we get into, and my sisters are two of my best friends. Family, to me at least, is probably the most important thing in my life, well, second to only God. I think what I've figured out is that no matter what I do with my life in regards to an occupation, I know that my vocation will be as a wife and a mother. I've seen, no, I've felt the impact that my family has in me and I think that the greatest success in life would be to have a happy and healthy family.
There are still a plethora of thoughts spinning through my head, but I'll stop here since this exceeds most people's attention span already. But alas, there is still the subject of heartbreak that I mentioned last entry. It still stands that maybe I'll talk about that next time.
Inspiration for the day: "Never regret something that once made you smile."