(no subject)
So I've been hiding some troubles I've been having inside... and I haven't been telling you about them. I didn't want to come off as a bitch, or a nag, or a really negative person or anything. I don't want to be anything like I was in my past - I HATE the person I became. But.. I think I went a little too far with that. So.. we had a talk.
We've spoken about things before that have bothered each of us, and this is the first time where I've been with someone where they actually listen to how I feel, and make really visible efforts meet me halfway. I was afraid that I hadn't done the same for him, so I asked. He said that I hadn't met him half way. At this point, I was so disappointed in myself and just said, "Oh". Which followed with, "You've come completely over to my side". It was such a switch in gears that I let out a tiny squeek lol. He said that it made him a little uncomfortable to be affectionate in public. Now I'm not talking making out or anything serious, just like, holding hands, a kiss here and there, arm around my waist etc. Now, I'm a really affectionate, mushy, touchy person and I come from a really mushy relationship before this one, so it was really hard for me to let that go. But.. I really did try and realize that he was not like me, or like any previous boyfriends, and that was just how he was comfortable. So, I stopped. And yesterday he tells me that he realized that maybe he didn't want me to stop.. that he realized he really did enjoy when I would randomly come up and kiss him and squeeze his arm, or whatever!
I think I'm really reveling in the small things this time around. Maybe it's because all the big things are in order. He is so good to me.. He's never made me cry (other than when we talk about him leaving :( ), my family absolutely LOVE him. Hell, they let him sleep over for goodness sake! That is huge for me.
Sometimes I think that he's really dense.. and he just doesn't get it. And then we talk, like yesterday, and he says something like, "Well, I have to respect how you feel if you're coming to me to tell me these things, and I have to try to meet you in the middle". Like, WHAT?! Where does that amazing sentiment come from?! He just surprises me so bad sometimes, and it makes the times when I think, "Are you kidding me?! How can you NOT get this?!" obsolete lol
Everyday is something new... I will never never know what's going to happen on any given day. Now sometimes I hate that.. but in the end.. it's a constant learning of someone. And I really love that. Just when I think I have him figured out.. he does something so out of the ordinary and it just makes me smile.
And apparently we're not breaking up when he leaves for the Navy.. Unless I want to. "I want you to be my girlfriend whether I'm here or half-way across the world". I really thought he was going to break up with me when he left. I'm still shocked that he wasn't planning on it.
I've never known a feeling like this before.. I'm not sure what it is just yet, but I think i'm gonna stick around and find out ;) heh
We've spoken about things before that have bothered each of us, and this is the first time where I've been with someone where they actually listen to how I feel, and make really visible efforts meet me halfway. I was afraid that I hadn't done the same for him, so I asked. He said that I hadn't met him half way. At this point, I was so disappointed in myself and just said, "Oh". Which followed with, "You've come completely over to my side". It was such a switch in gears that I let out a tiny squeek lol. He said that it made him a little uncomfortable to be affectionate in public. Now I'm not talking making out or anything serious, just like, holding hands, a kiss here and there, arm around my waist etc. Now, I'm a really affectionate, mushy, touchy person and I come from a really mushy relationship before this one, so it was really hard for me to let that go. But.. I really did try and realize that he was not like me, or like any previous boyfriends, and that was just how he was comfortable. So, I stopped. And yesterday he tells me that he realized that maybe he didn't want me to stop.. that he realized he really did enjoy when I would randomly come up and kiss him and squeeze his arm, or whatever!
I think I'm really reveling in the small things this time around. Maybe it's because all the big things are in order. He is so good to me.. He's never made me cry (other than when we talk about him leaving :( ), my family absolutely LOVE him. Hell, they let him sleep over for goodness sake! That is huge for me.
Sometimes I think that he's really dense.. and he just doesn't get it. And then we talk, like yesterday, and he says something like, "Well, I have to respect how you feel if you're coming to me to tell me these things, and I have to try to meet you in the middle". Like, WHAT?! Where does that amazing sentiment come from?! He just surprises me so bad sometimes, and it makes the times when I think, "Are you kidding me?! How can you NOT get this?!" obsolete lol
Everyday is something new... I will never never know what's going to happen on any given day. Now sometimes I hate that.. but in the end.. it's a constant learning of someone. And I really love that. Just when I think I have him figured out.. he does something so out of the ordinary and it just makes me smile.
And apparently we're not breaking up when he leaves for the Navy.. Unless I want to. "I want you to be my girlfriend whether I'm here or half-way across the world". I really thought he was going to break up with me when he left. I'm still shocked that he wasn't planning on it.
I've never known a feeling like this before.. I'm not sure what it is just yet, but I think i'm gonna stick around and find out ;) heh