Damn-it
Shit shit shit... I feel like just crawling into a hole and dying right now. I am so fucking frustrated with my weight. I just woke up, I’m starving (so far today I’ve had less than half of a container of fat free yogurt (100 cals for the entire thing) and a rice cake (50 cals)...), I want to go out with some girls in my house and the only way I’m not going to eat anything later (when I’m wasted) is if I take an adderal... but it kind of makes me anti social and I’m already not in the best mood because I feel fucking huge. I guess I’m going to have to just make myself social even with the adderal (suggested by a friend).
I just want to be little, tiny, skinny, thin, and desirable again... RIGHT NOW!!! I'm so impatient right now.
Also I am still not sure how I feel about alcohol... I don't drink beer but I know that hard alcohol has a ton of calories in it... before I just wouldn't count those cals because to me it was worth not having to deal with reality for a few hours :) and I still lost weight... I’m not sure still
Ugh, going to go pop an adderal and start getting ready, I wish they had a pill that would make you really outgoing so i could counteract the adderal.
Ooh actually hot sauce sounds REALLY appealing right now... no cals so I can eat as much as i want. (I hope I’m not the only one who has weird safety food like this, if I could ~without getting starred at~ I would carry hot sauce with me wherever I went and eat it all day long)
weight update: 121.4 lbs. Last time I posted I was 125. I guess that's good but it's nowhere near good enough!!!