this is an entry for me...
i discovered something about myself tonight...
i have no self- esteem what-so-ever... it causes all sorts of problems in my life, and i think it causes my irrational mood swings. so ive been crying for about thirty minutes and screaming at myself "why am i doing this? whats wrong with me?" god im trying really hard not to push away the person that means the most to me right now. i dont know how i can expect billy to put up with me... obviously im physco, i just hope i wont ever lose him.
i honestly dont see myself as a person worth keeping, i dont find myself attractive, i dont think i have any sort of personality, and im sure i get boring after a while. i dont know how to fix my paranoia but i can try.
i just need one person thats willing to help me. thats willing to put up with me no matter what it takes. i know i need reasurrance all the time, but i dont know how to make myself beleive the reassurance im getting.
i just need you.
Julie~
i have no self- esteem what-so-ever... it causes all sorts of problems in my life, and i think it causes my irrational mood swings. so ive been crying for about thirty minutes and screaming at myself "why am i doing this? whats wrong with me?" god im trying really hard not to push away the person that means the most to me right now. i dont know how i can expect billy to put up with me... obviously im physco, i just hope i wont ever lose him.
i honestly dont see myself as a person worth keeping, i dont find myself attractive, i dont think i have any sort of personality, and im sure i get boring after a while. i dont know how to fix my paranoia but i can try.
i just need one person thats willing to help me. thats willing to put up with me no matter what it takes. i know i need reasurrance all the time, but i dont know how to make myself beleive the reassurance im getting.
i just need you.
Julie~