Can I just say how proud I am of myself?!
I'm really happy. And I feel so relieved. Whenever I get really pissed or upset, it usually takes a day or two of intense thinking to calm me back down and get me in my positive mindset again.
So last night that prick (ex-bf) kept calling me and leaving me messages, begging my forgiveness. Finally I got the guts to call him back. At first I thought maybe that was a horrible idea, but then it ended up being the best thing that could have ever happened.
Ring ring. He answers, he tells me he's happy that I'm "not mad" and that I "still wanna talk". Ha.
HA!
So I said, yeah. I'm not mad anymore. But I do however just want to let you know that I never want to talk to you again. And he says, "Oh no, you're not serious are you?"
DEAD fucking serious. I told him that he doesn't deserve to talk to me let alone even breathe the same air as I do. And that he's not worth any of my time or effort anymore. I told him that I hope he feels 10 times worse than I ever did by being with him for the rest of his life for fucking up so royally. He asked my forgiveness, I told him he was sooo forgiven. But not to ever call me, email me, or try and get in touch with me in any way ever again.
He was whining. I bet he expected me to do what I normally did, and take the guilt trip and forgive him and then go running back. Nope. Not this time. I told him that I hope it was worth getting off and fucking that other bitch now that he lost the only good person he will ever have had if he keeps up his shitty attitude and outlook.
I wished him luck in the future. And I really meant it... because he is smart. And talented. But he hates himself. He hates life. I don't know why. And I don't know why I ever thought someone like him could be good for someone like me. I told him that I have always been too good for him and it felt so amazing to say it and mean it.
I feel so amazing. And strong. And positive. And I feel like one day I will be treated like a queen by someone who is perfect for me, because I deserve nothing less. I deserve to have someone who will put forth as much effort and love as I do into my relationships.
I seriously can't remember ever feeling that happy. It was liberating and made me feel like nothing could bring me down. I spent a year and a half in chains feeling like I was the piece of shit when all along it was him. It's funny how things work that way. And it's fucking amazing that every day brings more clarity and more happiness, no matter what. No one deserves to feel badly about themselves. Not anyone.
Before I hung up, I thanked him for giving me the best learning experience of my life. I honestly meant it too. I hurt for so long, but him breaking me down and attempting to ruin me actually had the opposite effect. It actually ended up building me up and made me realize how strong I am. And how to feel good about myself. It took 2 years to learn this, but I'm really glad I did.
So cheers to Tyler the ultimate bastard... he taught me so much about myself that I don't think I could ever be more grateful.
Or any happier.
So last night that prick (ex-bf) kept calling me and leaving me messages, begging my forgiveness. Finally I got the guts to call him back. At first I thought maybe that was a horrible idea, but then it ended up being the best thing that could have ever happened.
Ring ring. He answers, he tells me he's happy that I'm "not mad" and that I "still wanna talk". Ha.
HA!
So I said, yeah. I'm not mad anymore. But I do however just want to let you know that I never want to talk to you again. And he says, "Oh no, you're not serious are you?"
DEAD fucking serious. I told him that he doesn't deserve to talk to me let alone even breathe the same air as I do. And that he's not worth any of my time or effort anymore. I told him that I hope he feels 10 times worse than I ever did by being with him for the rest of his life for fucking up so royally. He asked my forgiveness, I told him he was sooo forgiven. But not to ever call me, email me, or try and get in touch with me in any way ever again.
He was whining. I bet he expected me to do what I normally did, and take the guilt trip and forgive him and then go running back. Nope. Not this time. I told him that I hope it was worth getting off and fucking that other bitch now that he lost the only good person he will ever have had if he keeps up his shitty attitude and outlook.
I wished him luck in the future. And I really meant it... because he is smart. And talented. But he hates himself. He hates life. I don't know why. And I don't know why I ever thought someone like him could be good for someone like me. I told him that I have always been too good for him and it felt so amazing to say it and mean it.
I feel so amazing. And strong. And positive. And I feel like one day I will be treated like a queen by someone who is perfect for me, because I deserve nothing less. I deserve to have someone who will put forth as much effort and love as I do into my relationships.
I seriously can't remember ever feeling that happy. It was liberating and made me feel like nothing could bring me down. I spent a year and a half in chains feeling like I was the piece of shit when all along it was him. It's funny how things work that way. And it's fucking amazing that every day brings more clarity and more happiness, no matter what. No one deserves to feel badly about themselves. Not anyone.
Before I hung up, I thanked him for giving me the best learning experience of my life. I honestly meant it too. I hurt for so long, but him breaking me down and attempting to ruin me actually had the opposite effect. It actually ended up building me up and made me realize how strong I am. And how to feel good about myself. It took 2 years to learn this, but I'm really glad I did.
So cheers to Tyler the ultimate bastard... he taught me so much about myself that I don't think I could ever be more grateful.
Or any happier.