(no subject)
It feels weird to post here again after so long, but it feels necessary.
I just don't want to forget the hurt that I feel right now, because it feels like if I lose that, I lose Jay.
I don't want to forget what he sounded like when he laughed, or when he called me Easy. Or when he called me baby, or honey, or any of the other names that no one else could ever call me.
I don't want to forget how he would ramble on about nothing and I would get annoyed, but I'd let him go because it was Jay.
I want to remember that he was a part of some of the best times of my life.
I want to remember him during every important milestone of my life, and I want to raise my glass for him whenever he should have been there, not only for his love of his friends, but his love of mixing drinks.
I want to remember how fucking hot he was.
I guess it really must be true that only the good die young, because that's the only way I can explain it in my mind.
Jay, you were one of my best friends. You taught me about friendship, you taught me about loyalty, and you taught me about not taking yourself seriously. You were the most charming person I've ever known. You had friends wherever you went, and it wasn't because of your looks (though, those didn't hurt your case). You were the most genuine person I knew, a man who would call you on your bullshit, and a man who knew his own faults.
To say I miss you doesn't do it justice. It's weird how my heart actually hurts when I think of you.
I wish you could have been around to meet my kids, to be at my wedding, to be around for the nights that don't matter. I hope you took the opportunity to look around when we were playing games and drinking to realize how fucking good we had it. I wish you could know just how truly you were loved, and I don't think you ever could. The amount of people that miss you is baffling.
I'm going to miss you for the rest of my life.
I just don't want to forget the hurt that I feel right now, because it feels like if I lose that, I lose Jay.
I don't want to forget what he sounded like when he laughed, or when he called me Easy. Or when he called me baby, or honey, or any of the other names that no one else could ever call me.
I don't want to forget how he would ramble on about nothing and I would get annoyed, but I'd let him go because it was Jay.
I want to remember that he was a part of some of the best times of my life.
I want to remember him during every important milestone of my life, and I want to raise my glass for him whenever he should have been there, not only for his love of his friends, but his love of mixing drinks.
I want to remember how fucking hot he was.
I guess it really must be true that only the good die young, because that's the only way I can explain it in my mind.
Jay, you were one of my best friends. You taught me about friendship, you taught me about loyalty, and you taught me about not taking yourself seriously. You were the most charming person I've ever known. You had friends wherever you went, and it wasn't because of your looks (though, those didn't hurt your case). You were the most genuine person I knew, a man who would call you on your bullshit, and a man who knew his own faults.
To say I miss you doesn't do it justice. It's weird how my heart actually hurts when I think of you.
I wish you could have been around to meet my kids, to be at my wedding, to be around for the nights that don't matter. I hope you took the opportunity to look around when we were playing games and drinking to realize how fucking good we had it. I wish you could know just how truly you were loved, and I don't think you ever could. The amount of people that miss you is baffling.
I'm going to miss you for the rest of my life.