((was public by accident now screened to Pip only))
i think very soon im going to go and find lindsays gun and blow my skull out. i dont know what to do. he doesnt love me no more and i should of known it was never going to last cause who the fuck to stand to be with me for ever? i cant do nothing, i cant make him laugh, or feel any better, or want to talk. pip can. maybe i should just leave him here with pip then and fuck of back to england and go find rafferty and have it out to the fucking death with that little ratfaced fucker cause i want him dead for touching my boy and i want me dead cause he aint my boy no more and it ain't fair, nothings fair no more. i ain't even his best mate no more.
i want to go home. for the first time in my life i want my mam. and i want the puppies. puppies never fall out wiv you or stop loving you or nothing.
i feel fuckin pathetic. this is worse than the time he found that thing i wrote about him and thought it was about sandra liken cause she'd been cracking on to me at billy crossacks party.
i want to go home. for the first time in my life i want my mam. and i want the puppies. puppies never fall out wiv you or stop loving you or nothing.
i feel fuckin pathetic. this is worse than the time he found that thing i wrote about him and thought it was about sandra liken cause she'd been cracking on to me at billy crossacks party.