They had been living together for awhile now, but Buffy still took it upon herself to make sure she looked nice for Angel. Of course she knew he'd tell her it didn't matter, but she wanted to try.
Across the cafe she saw him and a smile broke across her face, hurrying her to walk closer. He looked tired, she knew he'd been tossing and turning, but she also knew he would talk about it when he was ready.
"Hey," she said, giving him the benefit of her bright smile.
"Hey." he said. "You look wonderful." But then, she always did.
Oh a sudden whim, he stood up, and pulled her chair out for her. He was needy and he knew it. It was important for him to remember Buffy deserved the same care and attention she gave to him all the time. She was so good at hiding her pain, and had a bad habit of not asking for help when she needed it. Angel did too, but he had learned to trust her. She had always been there for him and he knew she always would be.
"Thank you." Buffy couldn't help but smile, Angel always had that kind of effect on her and he was being so tender with her as of late that it was impossible not to smile. Leaning in she pressed a quick kiss to his lips before sitting down, settling into the chair.
"I'm sorry if I kept you waiting too long. Had to have a female moment."
He kissed her back, moving with her as she sat down, then pulled away to help her push her chair in.
He circled back to his own chair and sat. Shaking his head, he smiled. "Don' apologize. It was a pleasant wait. I knew I had something nice to look forward to." He took her hand. "I'm glad you're here now, though."
This second-Buffy situation had cause both of them more than enough grief, and he just needed to be with her, his Buffy. He needed to be reminded of the was that she was his.
It had put a strain on them, but Buffy was still determined to not let him go. She'd fought this hard to give them another chance after making so many mistakes, and now it was here, and she wasn't going to let it go.
She lifted their joined hands and kissed the backs of his fingers before relaxing to let them rest on the table.
"Me, too," she said, rubbing her fingers across the back of his hand. "it's nice to have some time alone."
He nodded. "It really, really is. I'm just... I think I've had enough of this place," he muttered. At this point, being trapped in a hell dimension almost seemed preferable to being stuck on the base. At least he would have something to do.
The waiter approached asking what they'd like to drink.
"Just water is fine," he said. He looked at Buffy, questioningly.
"Iced tea," she said easily, offering a pleasant smile. The waiter stepped away and left them alone, so she could turn her concerned eyes back to his face.
He sighed. What wasn't wrong with this place? Well, aside from the fact that he had Buffy and they were finally living the life they had always dreamed of...
Aside from that, everything. "Buffy, it's so much. I just feel... I feel like I have no purpose. My whole non-life was devoted to helping others, and now I can't do that. I feel... I feel worthless." He looked down, hating to admit it.
"And then there's her. You. The younger you. She's... she's not at all the way I remember you, and yet exactly the same. And I can't figure out why she prefers that disgusting Captain John to any of us that actually care about her." When he finished spitting it all out, he was so angry, he very nearly got up and left, storming off to teach that John a lesson. But he controlled himself; waited to see what Buffy would say.
Buffy didn't move, didn't so much as bat an eyelash. He needed to be able to tell her what was on his mind, to confide in her and tell her whatever was bothering him without the fear of being judged. Her fingers tightened on his hand and she rubbed her thumb across his knuckles again, trying to soothe some of the anger and tension away as best she could.
"You're not worthless," she said, and there was a fierce hint to her voice, rough and intense. "Angel, you've done so much good here and you just don't see it. I can't even imagine what it's like, to feel that you're human now, that everything's different, but I swear to you, you've done so much for so many people. I couldn't have handled what happened the other day without you."
She paused. "And as for..me, or, me-but-not-me, I..I don't know what to do about her. Or if there's anything to be done. I remember what I felt like when I was that young, when everything was changing and..it was terrifying."
He gave her a sceptical look. "Really Buffy? I don't see it. All I can see are all the times I've been in the way, when you and others have been trying to actually accomplish something." What he didn't tell her was how much he despised the nagging feeling at the back of his consciousness that he would have been better off staying a vampire...
"And I feel helpless with this younger-you situation. Everytime I try... I end up feeling stupid and out of my league." He slammed his hand down onto the table, the frustration becoming just too much. "She's going to get herself hurt, and there's nothing I can do to stop it."
Across the cafe she saw him and a smile broke across her face, hurrying her to walk closer. He looked tired, she knew he'd been tossing and turning, but she also knew he would talk about it when he was ready.
"Hey," she said, giving him the benefit of her bright smile.
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Oh a sudden whim, he stood up, and pulled her chair out for her. He was needy and he knew it. It was important for him to remember Buffy deserved the same care and attention she gave to him all the time. She was so good at hiding her pain, and had a bad habit of not asking for help when she needed it. Angel did too, but he had learned to trust her. She had always been there for him and he knew she always would be.
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"I'm sorry if I kept you waiting too long. Had to have a female moment."
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He circled back to his own chair and sat. Shaking his head, he smiled. "Don' apologize. It was a pleasant wait. I knew I had something nice to look forward to." He took her hand. "I'm glad you're here now, though."
This second-Buffy situation had cause both of them more than enough grief, and he just needed to be with her, his Buffy. He needed to be reminded of the was that she was his.
Reply
She lifted their joined hands and kissed the backs of his fingers before relaxing to let them rest on the table.
"Me, too," she said, rubbing her fingers across the back of his hand. "it's nice to have some time alone."
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The waiter approached asking what they'd like to drink.
"Just water is fine," he said. He looked at Buffy, questioningly.
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"Tell me why."
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Aside from that, everything. "Buffy, it's so much. I just feel... I feel like I have no purpose. My whole non-life was devoted to helping others, and now I can't do that. I feel... I feel worthless." He looked down, hating to admit it.
"And then there's her. You. The younger you. She's... she's not at all the way I remember you, and yet exactly the same. And I can't figure out why she prefers that disgusting Captain John to any of us that actually care about her." When he finished spitting it all out, he was so angry, he very nearly got up and left, storming off to teach that John a lesson. But he controlled himself; waited to see what Buffy would say.
Reply
"You're not worthless," she said, and there was a fierce hint to her voice, rough and intense. "Angel, you've done so much good here and you just don't see it. I can't even imagine what it's like, to feel that you're human now, that everything's different, but I swear to you, you've done so much for so many people. I couldn't have handled what happened the other day without you."
She paused. "And as for..me, or, me-but-not-me, I..I don't know what to do about her. Or if there's anything to be done. I remember what I felt like when I was that young, when everything was changing and..it was terrifying."
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"And I feel helpless with this younger-you situation. Everytime I try... I end up feeling stupid and out of my league." He slammed his hand down onto the table, the frustration becoming just too much. "She's going to get herself hurt, and there's nothing I can do to stop it."
Reply
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