(no subject)

[thisheregiraffe]

i don't know why i'm updating here.
oh yeah.
i've moved over to _floodland.
which is partially friends only, partially public.
that's why.

things are improving very slowly.
i'm (tentatively) going to greece and italy in april, which is keeping me nice and happy.
i'm learning greek, which is about as difficult as russian was at the beginning.
i have a feeling i'll be pretty familiar with its basics within the month.
not anymore.

right now i don't feel i'm really living,
just existing.
at least the prospect of greece and italy keeps me feeling alive,
as well as the nanny, and a few people.

i just wish absolutely no one cared about me so i could do what i wanted.

and to brianna:
i am so sorry i've had to block you.
you're a wonderful person, and i do miss talking to you.
but you must understand that it's an extremely difficult situation for me,
and if i talk to you..
i'll end up having to know things that will only hurt me more.
and at this point, i couldn't take it.
but i'm so sorry. it doesn't have anything to do with you as a person, at all.