I found this tonight, while cleaning out my old math binder.
All I see these days are monsters, poison green with blood-stained fangs and deformed claws. We have turned so ugly inside and everywhere I turn it's staring me in the face, yellow bloodshot eyes, watery and jaded. No depth remains, we are dimensionless. Paper dolls, paper monsters that melt under acid raindrops. Our cities and towns are polluted with dirty mouths and sick minds. There is nothing left worth fighting for worth loving for, worth living for. Death is our new salvation, we have lost faith in our Gods and Goddesses, our churches and temples are deserts of stone and stained glass and the memories of those who briefly found something etched into their walls. The ceilings have holes burned in them from eyes glaring up, trying to see something that isn't there. We have forgotten religion because it has given us nothing, turned to other spiritual experiences like sex and destroyed them. There is nothing good. Things will not get better. We are watching the end of the world slip over us and are doing nothing to stop it. We are TIRED. Estranged from our families, living for the almighty dollar, we want to sleep and dream about sunny childhoods and liberating teenage years. And we don't want to wake up, not anymore.
Saturday night I met beautiful people, smoked too many cigarettes and discovered Amaretto Sours, finally crawling into bed with my sweet boy at 6 in the morning. Sunday we overslept, he was late for work and I took a cab to my darling friend's apartment to color her hair green & black, eat McDonalds, and watch cartoons. I have monster hands now from green hair dye. It is 2:45 in the morning and I have to be up in less than four hours, school begins tomorrow and it's back to uniforms, scheduled lunches, and too many rules. I desperately need to sleep, I miss my baby, and I could not ask for anything else in the world right now because I am perfectly, blissfully content.