no title.
My mom doesn't have the internet at her house and basically I've been dying without it. I feel like I'm going through withdrawals. How sad is it that I can't fucking make it for that long without the internet? I wonder what I used to occupy my time with before like...the middle of high school. Oh yeah, that's right, I actually had stuff to do, like a job, basketball, band. Damn.
I can't even begin to explain how great I've been feeling about myself and my life these past couple of weeks here. I really needed to get out of there before I hurt myself or did something that I really regretted. I think she's coming back this week, and to be honest, I don't want her to. Yeah that's fucked up and what not, but I don't care. I don't want to see her and I don't want to change when I do see her because I think I might. I'm finally starting to be myself define myself find myself again and I don't wanna lose that. I want to be able to chill with my friends and party and get drunk without a care in the world. I want to just be me and I'm afraid that when she comes, I'm going to start doing things and acting in a way that I know is not me. It's like the fucked up version of me that comes out when she's around.
And fuck that man! I'm going to have fun this summer with MY friends and I don't want her to ruin that. So I'm going to try not going to let her.
I wrote the above yesterday. Right now, alcohol is still in my system and I realized - well, I don't know what I've realized. Oh well. My head hurts. How much did I have last night? Fucking 7 or 8 drinks. Shiet. Heavyweight right herrr. Can't wait for the next one kiddies.
Oh and we didn't do anything! I swear! I don't know where this fucking fingering shit came from, seriously!
I can't even begin to explain how great I've been feeling about myself and my life these past couple of weeks here. I really needed to get out of there before I hurt myself or did something that I really regretted. I think she's coming back this week, and to be honest, I don't want her to. Yeah that's fucked up and what not, but I don't care. I don't want to see her and I don't want to change when I do see her because I think I might. I'm finally starting to be myself define myself find myself again and I don't wanna lose that. I want to be able to chill with my friends and party and get drunk without a care in the world. I want to just be me and I'm afraid that when she comes, I'm going to start doing things and acting in a way that I know is not me. It's like the fucked up version of me that comes out when she's around.
And fuck that man! I'm going to have fun this summer with MY friends and I don't want her to ruin that. So I'm going to try not going to let her.
I wrote the above yesterday. Right now, alcohol is still in my system and I realized - well, I don't know what I've realized. Oh well. My head hurts. How much did I have last night? Fucking 7 or 8 drinks. Shiet. Heavyweight right herrr. Can't wait for the next one kiddies.
Oh and we didn't do anything! I swear! I don't know where this fucking fingering shit came from, seriously!