More on Beatie
I've had a lot of non-trans friends asking me for my $0.02 on the whole "pregnant man" issue but have found myself so overwhelmed by the response *in* the trans community to even properly respond.
Sadly, most of the people asking me this are working hard to be true allies, and are perplexed by what they feel might be the "correct" response to the media circus and backlash. So they are trying to "get it from the source," and the source is overflowing with frustration.
While I personally wouldn't choose to bear a child, I'm also in a position where I don't feel the necessity. I'm lucky enough to have a partner who wants to do so. I'm lucky enough to come from a family where I am the only biological child and I was always taught that family is more than genetic ties; that adoption is just as "real" a choice as having a child of your own flesh and blood. So who knows what choice I might make if none of these things were true.
Aside from the pregnancy, there is an uproar over Beatie showing chest surgery scars, or giving out other information that might "help non-trans people identify a transman." I've even been directly given the argument of:
showing your surgery scars on national TV could get a rural stealth man recognized as such, and lead to his violent murder. I think if you're going to be in the media, you really ought to care about that sort of thing (perhaps its an assumption on my part that we don't want to indirectly contribute to the death of another?)
My response? Twofold:
1) I am seeing sweeping statements which imply that stealth men are at far greater risk than those who are out. Who is determining this? What validity (if any) is there in this argument? Am I not just as at risk for being open about my trans status?
2) I think it's pretty obvious that the purpose of educating people on trans topics is not to get someone killed.
In the midst of all the uproar, I notice no one has called that Transster be taken down, that transmen stop posting "passing information" on their websites, that informational videos like this one be immediately struck from YouTube. This is not the first public exposure of FTMs and will not be the last.
The real assumption I'm seeing here is that people are too dumb to do a Google search. It's not like no one has ever heard of transpeople. And there are plenty of conservative groups/people who have already spent years making a personal past time of trolling websites and online forums to gather information about the "evils" of being trans.
I do get that an Oprah show is going to get the attention of many more people. But there's no one checking gender at the door when accessing the massive amount of information on the internet. Whether intended for other FTM guys or not, it's still there for anyone to look up as they please.
Sadly, there will always be those who have no experience with public speaking who give TMI. That is a mistake that most make only once. That said, I've met many people who do trans education in the most amazing and self-respecting ways.
My issue here is that the public needs to be educated and there are people willing to step up and do the task. No, they are not always perfect. No, they do not always reflect every aspect of the FTM community. But how could they? The best they can do on that front is make sure that people understand that they are sharing *their* story and not necessarily a common narrative.
The bottom line is that every one of us has the right to decide what we do with our bodies. After all, isn't that what we are saying when we lobby for health care rights/employment protections/etc.? And that includes proudly baring our chests- scars and all- or choosing to defend our reproductive rights.
Beatie may not speak for everyone, but he has the right to speak for himself.
Sadly, most of the people asking me this are working hard to be true allies, and are perplexed by what they feel might be the "correct" response to the media circus and backlash. So they are trying to "get it from the source," and the source is overflowing with frustration.
While I personally wouldn't choose to bear a child, I'm also in a position where I don't feel the necessity. I'm lucky enough to have a partner who wants to do so. I'm lucky enough to come from a family where I am the only biological child and I was always taught that family is more than genetic ties; that adoption is just as "real" a choice as having a child of your own flesh and blood. So who knows what choice I might make if none of these things were true.
Aside from the pregnancy, there is an uproar over Beatie showing chest surgery scars, or giving out other information that might "help non-trans people identify a transman." I've even been directly given the argument of:
showing your surgery scars on national TV could get a rural stealth man recognized as such, and lead to his violent murder. I think if you're going to be in the media, you really ought to care about that sort of thing (perhaps its an assumption on my part that we don't want to indirectly contribute to the death of another?)
My response? Twofold:
1) I am seeing sweeping statements which imply that stealth men are at far greater risk than those who are out. Who is determining this? What validity (if any) is there in this argument? Am I not just as at risk for being open about my trans status?
2) I think it's pretty obvious that the purpose of educating people on trans topics is not to get someone killed.
In the midst of all the uproar, I notice no one has called that Transster be taken down, that transmen stop posting "passing information" on their websites, that informational videos like this one be immediately struck from YouTube. This is not the first public exposure of FTMs and will not be the last.
The real assumption I'm seeing here is that people are too dumb to do a Google search. It's not like no one has ever heard of transpeople. And there are plenty of conservative groups/people who have already spent years making a personal past time of trolling websites and online forums to gather information about the "evils" of being trans.
I do get that an Oprah show is going to get the attention of many more people. But there's no one checking gender at the door when accessing the massive amount of information on the internet. Whether intended for other FTM guys or not, it's still there for anyone to look up as they please.
Sadly, there will always be those who have no experience with public speaking who give TMI. That is a mistake that most make only once. That said, I've met many people who do trans education in the most amazing and self-respecting ways.
My issue here is that the public needs to be educated and there are people willing to step up and do the task. No, they are not always perfect. No, they do not always reflect every aspect of the FTM community. But how could they? The best they can do on that front is make sure that people understand that they are sharing *their* story and not necessarily a common narrative.
The bottom line is that every one of us has the right to decide what we do with our bodies. After all, isn't that what we are saying when we lobby for health care rights/employment protections/etc.? And that includes proudly baring our chests- scars and all- or choosing to defend our reproductive rights.
Beatie may not speak for everyone, but he has the right to speak for himself.