distracted
wow ever since myspace entered into my life, i completely neglect the livejournal world. apologies. it has been quite a while. well....a lot is different since april. lately ive been feeling...well..i guess lost is the best word. ive started to take a look at my life, what i do, how i treat people, how i treat myself. i don't like what i do. i don't know why and i don't know how to change. scary to think about. i want to be in love, i want to have fun, i want to do well in school, i want to get into a good college, i want people to like me, i want to like myself. there it is, all my inhibitions and frightening thoughts. for now...i have them a lot. ok that was fun. getting it out there like that. i hope no one reads this actually. it's so self-loathing. that's not like me, but maybe it is really. ah who knows. cheer up jane!