I love you hunee <3 <3 <3
Just got back from taking Chad home. He came over at like 4 so we got to spend a lot of time together. He hadn't been over in like 2 weeks!! But we made up for it <3 I beat him in pool, cuz I rock. Grampa cracked and broke my beautiful pool stick!! :( He's either gonna buy me a new one or give me some money, so it's okay.
My brother is the single-most dickfaced person in the world. Proof: I come home today, after we pick up Chad and everyone's eating. I'd already had cookies at lunch today, and then 2 1/2 cookies after school, but I was hungry and Becky had saved me pizza from last nite so I was like "hey, 2 pieces of pizza isn't gonna kill me!!" (something I havent been able to say in forever. So I take it out and everyone's standing around the kitchen and I'd eaten like 3/4 of one piece and vernon just looks at me and says "Give me that pizza" and I say "No." And he's like "Why?! You dont need it!!" So
naturally I start choking back my tears and try to keep eating it but I cant so I give it to him. All he says is "Thanks!!" Then Becky gets all pissed off and says "Vernon, what the hell?? You know she doesn't eat, and the one thing she wanted to eat was that pizza and you're gonna make her feel guilty about that??!" Then I just went and cried. Jesus christ. Here I am trying to fucking get better and he sits there and treats
me like a fat pig. I fucking hate him. I hope he dies.
No, seriously.
Mom made me eat when we stopped on the way to take chad home. I got a Nutrigrain bar, which of course pissed her off. She wanted me to get Ben & Jerrys!! Omg-- I'd kill for some fish food. She also bought me a piece of banana bread, but that's out of the question because it's like 320 cals and I've already had over 500 today. I hate this. I hate that I have to feel horrible about everything I eat and I hate that I spend my entire life counting calories and weighing in every half hour. I hate this.
On a lighter note, I have plans this weekend (yay!!). Tonite me, susie and amanda are celebrating amanda's birthday, even though it was like 2 weeks ago. Then tommorow nite I'm babysitting Emily. I dunno what I'm doing sunday. But what sucks is we always pig out over susies, and I know I will and then feel horrible about myself. :-(
God!! I dont wanna fucking do this!! I dont wanna have to worry about this shit!! I dont like feeling like such a failure and so disgusting.
I'm gonna go before I depress myself anymore, I'm really good at that.
<3
xo.
My brother is the single-most dickfaced person in the world. Proof: I come home today, after we pick up Chad and everyone's eating. I'd already had cookies at lunch today, and then 2 1/2 cookies after school, but I was hungry and Becky had saved me pizza from last nite so I was like "hey, 2 pieces of pizza isn't gonna kill me!!" (something I havent been able to say in forever. So I take it out and everyone's standing around the kitchen and I'd eaten like 3/4 of one piece and vernon just looks at me and says "Give me that pizza" and I say "No." And he's like "Why?! You dont need it!!" So
naturally I start choking back my tears and try to keep eating it but I cant so I give it to him. All he says is "Thanks!!" Then Becky gets all pissed off and says "Vernon, what the hell?? You know she doesn't eat, and the one thing she wanted to eat was that pizza and you're gonna make her feel guilty about that??!" Then I just went and cried. Jesus christ. Here I am trying to fucking get better and he sits there and treats
me like a fat pig. I fucking hate him. I hope he dies.
No, seriously.
Mom made me eat when we stopped on the way to take chad home. I got a Nutrigrain bar, which of course pissed her off. She wanted me to get Ben & Jerrys!! Omg-- I'd kill for some fish food. She also bought me a piece of banana bread, but that's out of the question because it's like 320 cals and I've already had over 500 today. I hate this. I hate that I have to feel horrible about everything I eat and I hate that I spend my entire life counting calories and weighing in every half hour. I hate this.
On a lighter note, I have plans this weekend (yay!!). Tonite me, susie and amanda are celebrating amanda's birthday, even though it was like 2 weeks ago. Then tommorow nite I'm babysitting Emily. I dunno what I'm doing sunday. But what sucks is we always pig out over susies, and I know I will and then feel horrible about myself. :-(
God!! I dont wanna fucking do this!! I dont wanna have to worry about this shit!! I dont like feeling like such a failure and so disgusting.
I'm gonna go before I depress myself anymore, I'm really good at that.
<3
xo.