Time
The side of Darren’s mouth quirked up for a moment at Chris’ words and Chris could feel Darren’s chest rising and falling against his as they heaved in time with one another. Chris suddenly had a rush of giddy desire as he imagined the possibilities - Darren pressed over him, shuddering against him, and he immediately felt slightly drowsy at the intimacy of it all.
There was silence for a moment as Darren gazed at him before he brought his right hand up to gently trace over Chris’ lips with his thumb. Chris closed his eyes and inhaled as Darren’s hand grazed from his lips to his cheek as he cupped it tenderly, to finally hold his chin gently between his thumb and forefinger. He waited for the kiss to come, feeling almost sick in anticipation and he shivered when Darren instead turned his head to the side before pressing a soft, lingering kiss to his cheek, like a butterfly testing a leaf for strength. Suddenly though, he was gone, and Chris’ eyes fluttered open reluctantly to see Darren’s back as he pulled on the emergency stop button to release it.
The elevator shuddered back to life and Darren turned to face him, his pupils blown and black. He crossed his arms and smiled a close-mouthed smile at Chris, and Chris wondered momentarily if it was his turn to move towards him, to take the lead, as Darren was making no move to come closer to him. Chris felt a little awkward suddenly - what if it was a ruse, a way to push Chris to say yes to something simply to see if he could? He shook it off fairly quickly though because Darren simply wasn’t like that, and the way he was mauling Chris’ neck didn’t exactly adhere to that idea either. He took a step towards Darren who in turn stepped towards him, still smiling that strange smile that Chris hadn’t seen on him before. Chris bit his lip as he took another step forward, and Darren reached out for his hand, entwining his fingers and giving a gentle squeeze. He lent forward, gently grazing his nose against Chris’ with his eyes still open, flickering between Chris’ in that same heated gaze of his. Chris felt like he was on fire - desperate for Darren to close the distance and to touch him, because now that it was possible, now that Darren had started this, Chris wasn’t sure if he ever wanted it to stop.
Darren moved even closer, about to press his lips to Chris’ and Chris could feel his breath on his lips, warm and so utterly inviting that Chris was having a hard time staying standing, let alone moving forward to kiss him. There was a sudden ping from behind them that made them both jolt away from one another, hand still entwined, as the doors swung open to reveal a very pissed off looking old couple. Darren stepped to the side to allow them to pass, pulling Chris with him once he worked out that Chris wasn’t moving on his own any time soon. The old lady grumbled slightly as she stepped past them and Chris heard her mutter something about ‘no respect’ and ‘dillydallying in the elevator’ and Darren began to shake with repressed laughter. It was Chris’ turn to wake up, and he stepped forward out of the elevator with Darren in hand, smiling sweetly at the man who simply gave him a firm, tight-lipped nod. When the doors closed once more, Darren doubled over in laughter.
“Hey - hey Chris. You know what’s fun? Dillydallying. We should do that. We should dillydalle more often.”
Chris let out a groan before whacking Darren lighting on the arm, turning to look at the brightly lit hallway that extended down to all the different apartments.
“Your penchant for ridiculous words, while usually adorable, can sometimes be really frustrating, D.”
Chris knew Darren was in 6-3, and began to set off down the hallway past the other doors with Darren in tow, still giggling. It was only when he caught a glimpse of the two of them in the long mirror that adorned part of the hall that he realized just how badly they must have appeared to the couple.
Chris’ hair was mussed and sticking up slightly on one side and his neck was peppered with red marks. The top button of his shirt had come undone at some point and he looked thoroughly rumpled and slightly dazed.
“Oh my god, we look like cheap whores.”
Darren stopped giggling for a moment to peer over Chris shoulder at their reflection. He wrapped his arms around Chris’ waist and pressed his front tight against Chris’ back, sending a little wave of exhilaration up Chris’ spine. He settled his head on Chris’ shoulder, linking his hands together, and Chris watched their portrait move together. Darren was looking thoroughly out of sorts as well - messy hair, wet lips, and eyes that looked like their blackness could swallow you up whole. Chris took a deep breath as Darren turned his head to trace back over each hickey with his tongue, tilting his head back to allow Darren better access to his neck. Darren finally pulled back slightly and Chris let out a shaky breath, before Darren’s hands snaked slightly down to the waistline of Chris’ jeans, gently pushing up his shirt slightly before ghosting his fingers over Chris’ skin, sending another rush through Chris. Chris opened his mouth to speak and attempted to meet Darren’s eyes in the mirror, but Darren was transfixed on staring at Chris. Chris stuttered slightly as Darren parted his lips to drag his tongue up Chris’ neck, following a small vein that ran along it. He let out a little breathy moan and felt Darren press forward slightly, warmth and hardness grazing against Chris’ jeans, and his knees almost buckled.
He quickly flipped himself in Darren’s arms until they were face to face, both of them breathing a little too heavily.
“Darren, we can’t do this here, okay?” Chris murmured, trying desperately to ignore the fact that Darren’s hands were now dropping slightly to slide into the back pockets of his jeans. Darren smirked slightly and Chris rolled his head back with a groan, desperate for more and feeling heady from the closeness of Darren. Darren suddenly pulled his hands out of Chris’ pockets and stepped back, raising his hands, and Chris felt a rush of cool air overcome him at the new distance. Darren turned on his heel, still silent as he strode in the direction of his apartment. Chris ran a hand through his already screwed up hair and took a shaky breath in an attempt to calm his nerves. Darren turned momentarily, halfway down the hallway to quirk an eyebrow at Chris.
“If you’re not going to follow me, I will carry you.”
Chris pushed himself up from where he had slumped against the mirror to follow Darren towards his apartment. They passed the other apartments in silence; Chris taking sneaky glances in Darrens’ direction as he attempted to gauge what was going to happen. Darren seemed entirely unperturbed by what was going on and kept a step ahead of Chris as he sauntered down the hallway. He didn’t seem particularly intoxicated anymore - the only thing truly giving it away was the way his eyes would glaze slightly but whether that was from the alcohol or simply that he was feeling as turned on as Chris was, Chris wasn’t sure. His inappropriateness in the hallway, well, Darren was pretty inappropriate all the time anyway.
He had been so all over him in the elevator and now it seemed to have cooled off, and Chris had no idea if he was grateful for that or not. He knew now that even if they did end up fooling around, Chris was going to end up gasping against the glass of his shower at some point in the near future purely from these memories that Darren had provided him with. It was wrong, it was so wrong, and he still had the niggling feeling of taking advantage of a drunk person - but Chris was a guy, and he was so turned on he felt like he could barely walk, even if the disconnection of Darren’s body from his meant a slight moment to catch his breath. They finally arrived at Darren’s door and Darren paused for a moment, fishing his key out of his jean pocket. He turned and Chris saw a different look in his eye - a nervousness that he hadn’t seen on Darren’s face before.
“You sure you want to do this? I’m telling you Chris, once we’re past this door, I - there’s no going back for me once I’m through this door. I want to give you an out now. If this isn’t what you want, if you don’t feel comfortable, I would much rather you walk away than ever let me pressure you into something you don’t want.”
This was the Darren that Chris knew so well. The always thinking of others, perfectly lovely and wonderful Darren that would give anything to make his best friend happy.
Chris knew that Darren.
Now he wanted to see the other one.
“I’m so very sure, Darren. Open the door.”
Darren’s face lit up momentarily before he turned back to the lock, desperately attempting to fit the key in the slot. Numerous dirty jokes came to Chris’ mind, but he bit his tongue as the jokes quickly dissolved into images and things he’d never even let himself dream of doing with Darren. He felt his face start to heat up again, before he realised there was no real reason for him to be ashamed. Darren wanted this just as much as he did.
Darren pushed the door open slightly, before turning around to look at Chris over his shoulder, a mischievous smile on his face. Chris looked at him quizzically - hadn’t they just had an entire conversation about wanting this and now they were here Darren was just standing there?
Darren pocketed the key and turned to face Chris entirely, before starting to sing softly at Chris, his voice low and husky from alcohol and probably a number of cigarettes - Darren was a people pleaser, which led directly into being a terrible social smoker.
“If you want my body,” Chris scoffed, crossing his arms. Darren certainly knew how to ruin a mood.
At least, that’s what Chris thought until Darren kept singing, “and you think I’m sexy,” the smile disappearing from his face and being replaced with something a lot more lusting. He looked like he was trying to look through Chris, to see his insides, and it both unnerved Chris and made him feel a little insane, like his skin was prickling wherever Darren stared.
The way Darren was looking at him, his eyes bright with something so far from his usual silly self. There was nothing silly about this moment, Chris came to realize. This was one of those moments, those moments people confide in their friends about. Chris could feel his heart pounding in his chest and his body ached with a want he’d never felt before. He wanted more than anything to reach out and dissolve into Darren. Why would you ever come up for air when you can breathe tanned skin and salted sweat for the rest of your life?
“Come on sugar, let me know.” Darren grinned again this time, winking a little as he stepped forward to wrap his arms around Chris’ waist again. Chris was doing his best to simply regulate his breathing and his heart rate, which was pounding and leaping up further his throat as he felt Darren sashay slightly against him, grinding their hips together. “If you really need me, just reach out and touch me, come on baby let me -”
Chris cut Darren off by pushing him roughly backwards into the apartment. Darren stumbled, close to falling, and Chris slipped a hand to the small of his back to support him as he pushed his tongue into Darren’s mouth, kicking his leg behind him to shut the door. Darren quickly caught on, his tongue gently swirling against Chris’ as he brought one hand up to slide into Chris’ hair. Chris felt a shiver run through his body as Darren gripped his hip tightly with his other hand, so tight it was a little painful. Chris absently wondered for a moment if there would be a bruise tomorrow and for a moment an even stranger part of him sincerely hoped there would be. He wanted to be marked. He wanted to not be able to leave the house without a scarf. Hell, he wanted to not be able to leave the house at all. He slid a hand up under Darren’s shirt, the material bunching as Chris pressed his palm to his warm chest. He could feel Darren almost vibrating underneath him, his heart stuttering out a quick and heavy rhythm.
Darren let out a short, sharp moan as Chris changed the game up, tilting his head to drink in all he could of Darren, to slip even deeper into the warmth and red wine and chocolate that Darren tasted of, and slid the tip of his finger over Darren’s nipple and up to trace along his collarbone. It was Chris that broke the kiss, panting as Darren held him close, both of them heaving slightly in the darkness of the apartment. He pressed a quick kiss to Darren’s nose, which made Darren’s eyes light up, sparkling in the night.
“No going back.”
“No going back.” Darren nodded firmly, before leaning in to kiss him again. There was a hesitance this time, and he paused right before he connected with Chris’ lips - this kiss was about something more than sheer desire. They both inhaled together, their lips curving around one another as their hands and bodies followed. Darren’s grip on his hips softened and instead Chris felt a hand come up to cup the side of his face gently. They stood there for a moment, slowing down to explore one another, to breathe one another in. It was like Darren was the life raft and Chris was clinging for life, as he felt warmth pull him close, gentle and kind, here to take him to somewhere far away, a land he’d never dreamed of. Darren pulled gently on the bottom of Chris’ shirt, and Chris lifted his arms to help him as he shimmied out of it. Darren did the same to himself, shucking it off and tossing it aside. Chris admired the canvas of Darren’s skin; spread out and beautiful like a blank piece of paper - full of so much promise.
Darren moved to rest his forehead against Chris’, watching tenderly as Chris’ eyes shifted up to meet his. His hand dropped from Chris’ cheek to reach for him, and he entwined their fingers together, pulling away from where he was pressed up against Chris only to lead them both towards his bedroom.
They padded quietly towards the door together, Chris’ eyes roving over Darren’s body, the strong set of his shoulders and the soft curves of his hips that all seemed to slot together and create what Chris recognized as his best friend. His breathing felt uncontrollable, erratic from a combination of desire and fear, yet there was warmth spreading through his chest, as if there was a direct vein from his fingertips that were entwined with Darren’s straight to his heart. Darren pushed the door open to Chris’ room, and Chris felt him squeeze his hand gently.
“Are you okay?” Chris asked quietly, watching as Darren glanced around his bedroom before turning to face Chris, his gaze soft.
Darren didn’t respond, just dropped Chris’ hand and stepped closer to him, bringing both of his hands to cup Chris’ face. They stared at one another for a moment before Darren’s gaze dropped from Chris’ eyes to glance at his lips. Darren gently rubbed Chris’ cheek with his hand, and Chris’ eyes fluttered shut as he felt that familiar warmth spread through him once more. He gave in to the sensations - the feel of Darren’s breath ghosting over his lips, his hands tracing from his cheeks down his neck and down his arms to finally entwine their hands together. Chris opened his eyes to meet Darren once more whose eyes were once again, dark, searching for something that Chris wasn’t sure how to give. He wasn’t given long to wonder however, as Darren let out a growl and thrust forward to press Chris against the bedroom door, his hands above his head, held in place tightly by Darren who was now pressing frantic kisses anywhere he could find. Chris’s head collided slightly with the door as he threw his head back to allow Darren greater access but the slight pain that plagued him was overthrown by the heat sizzling and spreading through his veins with every touch from Darren. Chris fought slightly against his hold, desperate to touch Darren, but Darren simply pushed him back against the wall with more force, his grip moving from Chris’ hands to his wrists. Chris could feel his wrists buzzing with pain but Darren simply held him there, before pressing a rough kiss to Chris’ lips, his tongue sweeping over Chris’ bottom lip and sucking it into his mouth for a moment before he spoke.
“I just want to touch you. I promise, we have all the time in the world, but for now, I want to give you everything Chris. I don’t want anything tonight. This is about you.”
Chris’ head was swimming with words and fever and lust and he found that there was nothing he could come up with past a breathy moan and a nod as he found Darren’s eyes once more. His pants felt uncomfortably tight and he could also visibly see how turned on Darren was, and he felt his mouth water as another flood of images of sucking Darren into his mouth flew through his mind.
Darren nodded gently back at him, releasing his grip on his wrists and gently pressing a kiss to the inside of his left wrist, before he worked his way up Chris’ arm, peppering it gently, all the while his eyes never leaving Chris’. They watched one another, locked by gaze for as long as possible, until Darren was face to face with Chris once more. Chris leant forward slightly, a little whine escaping his lips when Darren didn’t move forward to meet him, until Darren suddenly smirked slightly, the side of his mouth quirking up as he began to drop to his knees. Chris’ eyes widened as he felt his belt being tugged to the side and unclasped, and before he knew it his jeans were pooled around his ankles, the inside of his thigh being caressed by Darren’s warm breath.
“Darren, fuck.”
Chris let out a heavy breath as Darren dragged his tongue up Chris’ thigh, his hands coming up to cup Chris’ ass. He dug his nails into the flesh through his underwear, eliciting another moan from Chris as he scrambled to find something to hold onto, the hardness in his pants becoming almost unbearable. Darren pressed a kiss to Chris’ hip and Chris’ hand flew down to run through Darren’s hair. Darren let out a rough little noise that made Chris want to laugh, but suddenly Darren was mouthing his cock gently through the fabric and his giggle was cut off, transforming into a loud groan. His hips snapped forward slightly and it was Darren’s turn to laugh, his hands coming back around to hold Chris’ hips firmly.
“Plenty of time, darling.”
Chris whined slightly at this as Darren continued to press the most feather light of touches with his lips around Chris’ hips and inner thighs. Chris could feel his underwear becoming wetter, a combination of the pre-come leaking from his head and Darren’s spit. Darren bit slightly into Chris’ thigh, causing Chris to let out a hiss as he clutched at Darren’s hair.
“Darren, please.”
Darren pulled away for a moment to lock eyes again with Chris, and Chris hoped that through his haze of arousal his own puppy dog eyes were still able to do their job. Darren smiled up at him gently and licked his lips, leaving Chris squirming slightly under his grip, desperate to get his cock closer to Darren’s now wet lips.
“Darren, for fuck’s sakes. Please.”
Darren took no more time, pushing up on his knees and pulling down Chris’ underwear in one swift motion. A slight breeze of cold air blew past at the change, sending a shiver down Chris’ spine that was replaced with a fiery rush as Darren’s lips wrapped around the very tip of Chris’ cock. Chris was desperate for more and could feel himself writhing underneath Darren’s touch, but Darren’s hands were back up to hold Chris against the wall. Darren chuckled slightly at Chris’ excitement, sending a buzz through Chris that made him grip Darren’s hair even more tightly. Darren pulled back slightly, Chris’ cock falling out of his mouth with a slight pop, as Darren looked up at Chris, breathless with lust. Chris wanted to scream. He was so turned on he felt like he could be sick, and Darren was having far too much fun teasing him. He was about to say something, to beg once more, not too proud to admit that he was being reduced to a simpering puddle, when Darren spoke first.
“Do you have any idea how long I’ve waited for this, Chris? Fuck. I’ve dreamt about this, about you, and you - you taste exactly how I imagined. You taste perfect, Chris.”
Chris felt his impatience melt slightly at Darren’s soft-spoken words and he dropped his hand from Darren’s hair to cup his cheek, smiling softly as he caressed his face.
“Darren, that’s lovely, and truly sweet, but seeing as you’ve been waiting so long, you really should stop talking and enjoy the moment. Now.”
Darren let out the hearty chuckle Chris was so used to hearing, feeling slightly out of place in the electrified atmosphere they were now sharing. It was comforting on the one hand, but at the same time a reminder that while they may be the same people, this was a different place - a new place they were now stepping into to share together.
Chris wasn’t left with any more time to ponder the specifics as Darren pushed forward to take Chris entirely in his mouth, one hand dropping from his hip to gently caress his balls. As Darren dragged his tongue back up the underside of his cock to swirl around the tip, he gently trickled his hand across Chris’ balls and his thigh, leaving Chris incoherent. His mind and body was flooded with sensation and it was all he could do not to collapse to the ground, his knees filled with what felt like lead. Darren began to bob back and forth, holding Chris in place who was desperately trying to get deeper, wanting to be as close to Darren as physically possible.
He couldn’t have been sure of what would happen when they passed the door but what Chris hadn’t realized was how badly he wanted to be connected to Darren in every way possible. They were already best friends, so to a degree, the emotional connection was very much present, but this was stronger. This was a desire to mould souls, to construct their bodies together in such a way that there would be no space between them, and it was in that moment that Chris realized just how much more he wanted than just a cheap fuck. This could never be that though, because it was Darren, and it was Chris, and they were already so interconnected that to Chris, it almost felt like the next logical step in their friendship, quasi-relationship, whatever the fuck you would call it was.
As if he could read Chris’ thoughts, Darren dragged his tongue up the underside of Chris’ cock and took a sharp breath through his nose before pushing forward to deep throat Chris. Chris let out a strangled cry at the sensation of being encircled with that wet warmth of Darren and felt the familiar tightness spreading through his lower half. He gripped Darren’s hair tightly as Darren continued to work back and forth, his hand coming up to give him respite from trying to take so much of Chris at once. Chris tilted his head down slightly to look Darren directly in the eye, and Darren exhaled roughly as his hand worked up and down, slowly and gently.
“You’re so beautiful, Chris, Jesus.”
Darren swept back in and Chris couldn’t find the words to respond, instead biting out Darren’s name around a gasp as he tugged on Darren’s hair, causing Darren to let out a groan of his own around Chris’ cock. Chris’ hips snapped forward slightly at the feeling, and Darren pulled back momentarily to suck a finger into his mouth. The moment of reprieve left Chris gasping, eyes closed, half desperate for more and half unsure of just how much more he could actually take. He was unaware of what Darren was doing and when he felt his legs be pushed apart slightly his eyes flew open to greet Darren, who was looking up at him tenderly
“Just tell me if it’s too much.”
Chris felt him encircle his cock once more and now a finger was poised at his entrance, as Darren gently swirled his finger over it. The response from his nerve endings were leaving Chris incoherent, and while it was too much already, his mind was crying out for more. Darren gently began to push his finger into Chris. Chris shuddered at the feeling, his body reluctant to let Darren enter but the burn was refreshing, like jumping into a pool on a searing summer day. Darren gently pushed his finger in a little bit further, taking his time, causing Chris to let out a loud groan as he pushed down to meet him. He could barely hear anything at this point, or so it seemed, except for a rushing in his ears and the faint sounds of sucking as Darren worked his cock. Darren pushed forward to take more of him once more and this time crooked his finger slightly up inside Chris, moving gently to press against the walls of his body. The combination was electrifying, and Chris could feel himself babbling now as Darren began to work out a rhythm for his actions. Chris fisted Darren’s hair as he began to pant out his own rhythm of Darren’s name and mumbled words begging for more from him. Chris could feel the heat building up low in his stomach and he attempted to let out a warning for Darren, who simply let out a muffled groan of understanding and took Chris deeper in his mouth, his jaw relaxed as he sucked deep and fast while his finger crooked repeatedly inside Chris, the pressure building to boiling point.
Chris’ fingertips tingled as he felt himself approach the edge, spreading flooding warmth throughout his body. He held tight to Darren’s hair as if it was his anchor to the world, and came with a jolt, his hips snapping forward to meet with the back of Darren’s throat as Darren continued to roll him through his orgasm with his finger, sucking gently around the tip to bring Chris down from his high. He shuddered above Darren who brought his other hand up to hold Chris’ high as if he knew Chris was struggling to stay standing. Chris’ head dropped with the weight of his orgasm and he panted, letting out a slight hiss as Darren slid his finger out gently before pulling back to wipe his hand on his jeans, swallowing as he did so. Chris felt the sensitivity overtake him, his knees shaking underneath him until he finally gave in, sliding down the doorframe to collapse onto the floor without Darren to hold him up. He pulled his pants off completely, throwing them to the side as he pulled his underwear back up his body to quell the sudden feeling of vulnerability. Darren let out a little giggle, wiping his mouth with his hand before mirroring Chris’ position, first leaning forward to press a kiss to his cheek.
“Didn’t think you’d want to kiss me after… you know.”
Chris looked at him incredulously, biting back a laugh before reaching a hand up to cup the side of Darren’s face, gently stroking it as best he could while still shaking ever so slightly. It was if he had been hit by a tsunami, and while it had been brought on so quickly it was softly disappearing into the distance, but the tactile feeling was fresh in Chris’ mind. He lent his head back against the door once more, this time to cling to the concept that there was solid ground both beneath and behind him, enough to root him to the spot.
“Darren, I would kiss anything you wanted me to after that. No one can suck dick like that and be straight.”
Chris immediately regretted his words, his smile and post-orgasm haze both disappearing as Darren blushed bright red before averting his eyes from Chris’. He hesitated before speaking, entwining his hand with Chris’ and pulling it away from his cheek to rest in his lap. He stroked Chris’ hand with his thumb before looking back up to meet Chris’ eyes.
“I don’t really know what I am. Is that okay?”
Chris’ heart broke as he saw Darren’s fear - not necessarily fear about what he was feeling, about his sexuality, because Darren had never been afraid to consider the possibilities and he had discussed that with Chris on numerous occasions. This was a different fear - a fear that Chris wouldn’t wait, that Chris couldn’t wait, would want labels and some sort of cookie-cutter concept of what is considered a normal relationship. That wasn’t Chris, and that wasn’t Darren. They had never had a normal relationship, and they never would even if they ended up dating, and that was something that Chris treasured, so it saddened him to see Darren thinking any of that would change.
“More than okay. We have all the time in the world, remember?”
He squeezed Darren’s hand gently before pushing himself up from his cross-legged position, pulling Darren with him. He was more than surprised that he had regained the use of his legs so quickly, but that was the last thing on his mind at this point. He glanced over at the bed, before flicking his eyes back to Darren, his hesitation obvious.
“Can I stay here tonight?”
Darren smiled a broad grin at him, enamored by Chris’ shyness springing to the surface as he gestured to the bed with one hand, the other scratching the back of his head. Darren shucked off his pants and climbed in happily, burrowing down beneath the covers and patting the spot next to him, earning an eye roll and a smile from Chris. Chris clambered in next to him, before pressing a kiss to Darren’s shoulder and whispering into the skin he found there.
“This, right now, is about you, okay?”
Darren looked at him, his eyes wide and wondering as Chris pushed him onto his side and pressed himself up against Darren’s back. He slipped a warm arm around Darren’s front and linked their fingers together, pushing his other arm up under the pillow to avoid the awkward painful spare spooning arm. He pressed a kiss to the gap between Darren’s shoulders as Darren exhaled in a quiet relief, feeling filled with words and promises that he desperately wanted to trace into the skin, but instead kissed the spot once more and closed his eyes, nuzzling into the warmth of Darren. There was a beat before Chris spoke again against his skin.
“Maybe a little bit for me too.”
Darren bit out a soft little laugh and Chris joined him, feeling nothing but light and warmth, before the room fell quiet save for breathing, and he drifted into a strange land filled with the scent of red wine and a laugh like sunlight.