reasons for me to be in a horrible sad mood right now
-I had to go on a "graduation celebration" cruise last night with the LL.M. programs, which included spending an hour outside in the 40 degree apocalypse-style rain in a very thin dress and flip flops. It's freezing in our office today and gross outside and I don't think I'm ever going to be warm again.
-I didn't get home until almost 11 and I couldn't fall asleep and Terrill had to wake up early so I got next to no sleep and am exhausted.
-I'm worried that this exhaustion could be attributed to the fact that I might have lupus and/or cancer, as my lupus test results are not back yet and my doctor said that my white blood cell count is "slightly elevated". Which just could be from the fact that I broke out in hives on Sunday after spending 15 minutes outside, 24 hours before I got the blood test, and sometimes white blood cell counts can be elevated due to an allergic reaction. But they could be elevated due to leukemia.
-Looking forward, if the hives ("solar urticaria"--don't Google Image that shit, it's disgusting) are idiopathic as my doctor says they might be, I am going to have a horrible, indoor, pale, vitamin D-deprived summer. Ruined: Cape Cod, the balcony, the roof, pool party in Shrewsbury, Six Flags, Emily's lake house, any wedding that I have to go to and spend time outside.
-Terrill is going to be working at Brookline Liquors Monday, Friday and Saturday from 6-11pm. Which means that we will see each other practically never, and will never be able to have a social life as a couple, and due to the stress of him working two jobs and me being in school/being a The Others-style ghost who cannot be exposed to sunlight ever who might also have cancer, we will break up.
[/dump]
-I didn't get home until almost 11 and I couldn't fall asleep and Terrill had to wake up early so I got next to no sleep and am exhausted.
-I'm worried that this exhaustion could be attributed to the fact that I might have lupus and/or cancer, as my lupus test results are not back yet and my doctor said that my white blood cell count is "slightly elevated". Which just could be from the fact that I broke out in hives on Sunday after spending 15 minutes outside, 24 hours before I got the blood test, and sometimes white blood cell counts can be elevated due to an allergic reaction. But they could be elevated due to leukemia.
-Looking forward, if the hives ("solar urticaria"--don't Google Image that shit, it's disgusting) are idiopathic as my doctor says they might be, I am going to have a horrible, indoor, pale, vitamin D-deprived summer. Ruined: Cape Cod, the balcony, the roof, pool party in Shrewsbury, Six Flags, Emily's lake house, any wedding that I have to go to and spend time outside.
-Terrill is going to be working at Brookline Liquors Monday, Friday and Saturday from 6-11pm. Which means that we will see each other practically never, and will never be able to have a social life as a couple, and due to the stress of him working two jobs and me being in school/being a The Others-style ghost who cannot be exposed to sunlight ever who might also have cancer, we will break up.
[/dump]