ugh.
I got back from the Fair last night. It was exhausting in every possible way. My whole body is tired, my parents were fighting a lot, and complaining about each other whenever either one was alone with me. On top of it, I realized that I can't continue my life the way it is, and need a drastic change. So when I got home, I forced a change that was one of the hardest things ever. I've decided to leave my greasy lover and move to portland. I'm so fucking scared to live in a big city but I have to do it. I need to finish my Bachelor's, and I need to find myself. I love ken A LOT but I'm too settled right now. I have a beautiful house, a loving man, a big back yard, an easy, good-paying job, and a couple of pets. I'm leaving ALL of it. Sounds pretty stupid to me. I mean, when am I going to find that again? Hopefully not till after I am really ready for it. I'm 22. I'm not ready to be in this life that is routine. I cried for a REALLY long time last night, and I'm sure I'll probably be crying a lot in the next couple of weeks. I need to start packing my stuff. I don't have a place to go in Portland, except Brindy is up there, so I'll have her. And
Andrew. And my mom's friend Kasey. I could probably crash at her house for a week or so while I find a place.... I don't have any money saved at all. I'll have to find a job immediately. Or get some credit cards. Heh. Good thing I don't have a car payment to make. Augh. There's more but that's it for now.
Andrew. And my mom's friend Kasey. I could probably crash at her house for a week or so while I find a place.... I don't have any money saved at all. I'll have to find a job immediately. Or get some credit cards. Heh. Good thing I don't have a car payment to make. Augh. There's more but that's it for now.