hellooooo i'm a car. gas.o.line.makes.me.run. back seat. trunk space.
no, i didn't die.
i always say that i don't know how to start journal entries but this time, i'm so serious. awwkkwaarrddd.
so my life is so repetitive. i'm like a zombie. i go to work, go on a smoke break, work, take a lunch if i'm lucky, work, smoke again, work some more and go home at the end of the day feeling sick. i'm home alone a lot and i feel really unsettled in my house even though it is my home. i've been seeing less of adam than i'd like to lately because of his newfound 2nd job and all of my overtime at work. (the cross-trained me to work for the other half of the receiving deparment mostly just because i'm fast and they want someone they can take advantage of who will work ridiculous amounts of overtime for the money.) i'll probably never get hired on full-time because they don't like how i dress regardless of whether i'm in dress code or not. i've come to mostly accept that without being too bitter. i keep applying. i guess that's all i can do. not only do they check all of the times i use my badge to get in/out of the building to monitor how long my breaks and lunches are, they also monitor how long every phone call i make or receive is. pretty awesome, if you ask me.
i'm in looovveee. and it's never going to go away.
i had my first gynocologist appointment the other day. i think that officially makes me a woman?
i'm on the shot. yay for birth control. if i gain weight on it though i'll be unhappy. on top of the visible 8 pounds i've already gained for no apparent reason other than boredom over the past few months, it's pretty unwanted.
i really don't hang out with anyone anymore. let alone go to shows.
all of the "friends" i used to have like adam better than me now anyway. and rightfully so, i suppose.
"fun" just isn't fun for me when you're with the wrong people and you know it. call me crazy.
i'm over it.
i miss my life before "my life as i knew it last year". i miss maddy. i miss joleen.
adam, kristin, ross (kristins boyfriend) and i are going to hayrack rides and st.louis/sixflags this weekend.
i can't wait.
boring boring entry. but at least i'm back. kind of.
334165123
1123
regretting this entry.
now.
i always say that i don't know how to start journal entries but this time, i'm so serious. awwkkwaarrddd.
so my life is so repetitive. i'm like a zombie. i go to work, go on a smoke break, work, take a lunch if i'm lucky, work, smoke again, work some more and go home at the end of the day feeling sick. i'm home alone a lot and i feel really unsettled in my house even though it is my home. i've been seeing less of adam than i'd like to lately because of his newfound 2nd job and all of my overtime at work. (the cross-trained me to work for the other half of the receiving deparment mostly just because i'm fast and they want someone they can take advantage of who will work ridiculous amounts of overtime for the money.) i'll probably never get hired on full-time because they don't like how i dress regardless of whether i'm in dress code or not. i've come to mostly accept that without being too bitter. i keep applying. i guess that's all i can do. not only do they check all of the times i use my badge to get in/out of the building to monitor how long my breaks and lunches are, they also monitor how long every phone call i make or receive is. pretty awesome, if you ask me.
i'm in looovveee. and it's never going to go away.
i had my first gynocologist appointment the other day. i think that officially makes me a woman?
i'm on the shot. yay for birth control. if i gain weight on it though i'll be unhappy. on top of the visible 8 pounds i've already gained for no apparent reason other than boredom over the past few months, it's pretty unwanted.
i really don't hang out with anyone anymore. let alone go to shows.
all of the "friends" i used to have like adam better than me now anyway. and rightfully so, i suppose.
"fun" just isn't fun for me when you're with the wrong people and you know it. call me crazy.
i'm over it.
i miss my life before "my life as i knew it last year". i miss maddy. i miss joleen.
adam, kristin, ross (kristins boyfriend) and i are going to hayrack rides and st.louis/sixflags this weekend.
i can't wait.
boring boring entry. but at least i'm back. kind of.
334165123
1123
regretting this entry.
now.