" you are the beauty that off set the ugly situations i find myself in"
ive absolutly abandoned my journal, left it for dead.i don't enjoy writing in here anymore. i have the time, just not the patience. i don't tihnk anyone stops to read it.
if i were to explan what i've been dealing with in the past two weeks there would be a book, or maybe i'm just blowing things out of proportion. it's not even a big deal anymore. i'll just leave it with a lot of confusion, decisions, and hurt feelings.
i stayed home from school today, and went to the mall with ashli& my grandma for christmas shopping. grandma bought me a skirt, and some hand lotion. awesome. i wish i had money to buy sometihng for everyone i want to. except i'm not old enough to have a job, just a couple more months. then i'm applying somewhere in the mall. or at the dunkin donuts down the street. anyways back to when i was at the mall. i had to go becuase johnny never came home last night. i hope he gets a severe beating. i hate fuckign shopping. especially becuase i found so many things i want, that i will never recieve.
i'm going to have to make up a math test tommorw.
i just want christmas vacation, i can't stand school any longer, i never remember hating it this much. i always used to secretly enjoy it in a way. now i just dread it.
there's a juice box stuck to a lint roller on my computer table, i need to clean my room.
i want weekend, kathleen is coming over for the first time in years. we should have a lot of fun. plus the usual amount of boys and laura. notihng to do this weekend though, just lay around with eachother in our own filth. i love dirty boy filth.
i miss shaun, i don't even have anyone to call a dick anymore. or eat a match with, but i guess i can blame myself for that. even though i don't want him as my boyfriend, i've come to need him around here as a person.
which brings me aroudn to say, i feel a lot more stable now. having things back to normal, with matt. how they were before everything. it just makes me happy.
i want ashli + johnny to come home, i want to spoon with them.
if i were to explan what i've been dealing with in the past two weeks there would be a book, or maybe i'm just blowing things out of proportion. it's not even a big deal anymore. i'll just leave it with a lot of confusion, decisions, and hurt feelings.
i stayed home from school today, and went to the mall with ashli& my grandma for christmas shopping. grandma bought me a skirt, and some hand lotion. awesome. i wish i had money to buy sometihng for everyone i want to. except i'm not old enough to have a job, just a couple more months. then i'm applying somewhere in the mall. or at the dunkin donuts down the street. anyways back to when i was at the mall. i had to go becuase johnny never came home last night. i hope he gets a severe beating. i hate fuckign shopping. especially becuase i found so many things i want, that i will never recieve.
i'm going to have to make up a math test tommorw.
i just want christmas vacation, i can't stand school any longer, i never remember hating it this much. i always used to secretly enjoy it in a way. now i just dread it.
there's a juice box stuck to a lint roller on my computer table, i need to clean my room.
i want weekend, kathleen is coming over for the first time in years. we should have a lot of fun. plus the usual amount of boys and laura. notihng to do this weekend though, just lay around with eachother in our own filth. i love dirty boy filth.
i miss shaun, i don't even have anyone to call a dick anymore. or eat a match with, but i guess i can blame myself for that. even though i don't want him as my boyfriend, i've come to need him around here as a person.
which brings me aroudn to say, i feel a lot more stable now. having things back to normal, with matt. how they were before everything. it just makes me happy.
i want ashli + johnny to come home, i want to spoon with them.