(no subject)
well really the past thirteen months:
learned how to give self-fellatio
gave my middle fingers to charlotte and left unannounced as a quick ghost to that town
adopted the most faithful feline: 2x4
moved back in with my parents, sleeping on a couch for three months, then a mattress on the floor for another three.. with the majority of everything i owned being in my basement or car
got kicked out of my parents house for the 74th time or so
squatted in an unfinished neighborhood for five days
hopped trains to alabama, tennessee, south carolina, north carolina, and through the good ole state of georgia
fell through the floor of an old thread mill.. leaving a kick ass scar on the side of my abdomen
was forced to shave my head due to a drunken hair-cutting incident
lost the battle of st. patrick's day by passing out on a park bench, heavily wounding my knee, and not remembering most of it
got an office job with the wigloo, drinkin beers at lunch, smokin cigarettes when we're not supposed to, jerkin off in the bathroom, makin fun of my mom, while still managing to be the best workers there
got "banned" from the marietta square
tried cocaine
three-hour water balloon fight, followed by a fire-extinguisher duel with chalon
easter: drunk by 10am, friends fuckin each other in the same room, stole beer from a gas station, had my forearm sliced open by a friend and his knife
had a good friend go behind my back because of an undeserving girl, and proceeded to go insane for a night
got torn in half by the same women as the previous two years
tried pain-killers
stole an ex-girlfriend's pink bathrobe, which i wear nightly
tried shrooms
march, april, and may: blackwell couches, and drunk
danced with a transvestite
did not see a RHYS JOHNSON
moved to savannah with two other friends on a drunken whim
drunk swam til i couldn't see land (fuck you europe)
broke our shower while taking one with chelsea
tropical storm waves
more milky way than ever
hitched-hike twice, once with a group of drunk drug dealers
scaled a fence to a boat shop, and slept in the back of one
walked across most of the state of south carolina
face to face with an alligator
slept on a burrito
sunday morning stumbles
explored two churches, civil war ruins, a thread mill, a hospital, two schools, a motel, a hotel, a clothing/piercing/head shop, an arcade facility/baseball park, an apartment-housing building, several houses, a diversion center, a hardware store, a train depot, a chinese theme park, a ghost gas mill, and a barbeque restuarant.. only setting off three alarms
jerked-off in cooler places than you
pissed on a porsche, out of a box-car goin 60mph, on top of many other cars, and every roof i've been on since
started selling insurance
sold out and bought a cellphone
totaled my car
tried opium
met a girl as wonderful as marshmellows, who has given me the best compliment of my life, and also the best gift.. in the form of a little purple ceramic brontosaurus with the words "never forget" on the bottom
broke the main window to a belly-dancing shop while leanin on it bein mushy with a ladyfriend, ran away laughing and crushin hard
jumped-off the pier at tybee island with steve-o, got hit with 6 months probation and a total of $970 owed
swore off writing until i actually do something worthwhile, when i'm twenty-nine or so
went broke
drove to orlando with patrick to explore splendid china
got diagnosed with mild alpha thalassemia
woke up with a black girl wearing no pants or underwear sleeping on my couch, from our shitty party where i almost fell off the roof, and the motherfucking cops
had more sex than ever
my license is suspended
now i'm broke again
all while keeping my pair of converse in tact!
leave at 7am to meet up with 41 year new mexican john, to drive three hours to milledgeville and explore the best site in the southeast, central state hospital. leave at four, drive three hours back to get in a car to ride four hours to atlanta for drinkin, friends, a cute girl, and your annual christmas flutters.
in 2007, my resolution will be to take a picture of me flippin off a great white, and exploring the grand central station in detroit.
shit your mothers.