Wow. Why didn't anyone teach this to me before?
I suddenly realize why my religious beliefs do not mix with those of Campus Crusade on the whole evangelism (going out and asking people if they have accepted Jesus) issue. There are certain points in which I am pretty friggin' hard line Calvinist (Presbyterian, yo). One of which is predestination and supralapsarianism (thanks wikipedia for giving me the official name of this!). As a supralapsarianist, you basically believe God chose certain people to be saved. And that God knew them even before the "fall" (urgh, I wish there was a better word for that) of humans.
Campus Crusade believes that EVERYONE at any time can get saved. Which is great for them. I just really am in love with the idea that God chose me. God thought of me. Also, I really believe there is more than one way to Heaven. I just choose Jesus as my avenue, and someone may choose Allah, and another may choose just living a very decent life. Absolute truths freak me out. So with my supralapsarianist beliefs, it's kind of ridiculous for me to knock on doors with some lameo, fake survey asking people about their neighborhood.
To me, faith isn't a matter of gathering people to sit inside your church every Sunday. In fact, I pretty much hate being in most churches. It's a matter of acceptance and reconciliation. It's personal. It's powerful. In ways, it's magical. I was made to love Jesus. Which is pretty awesome because I'm really, really screwed up and need someone to love me, too. I'd rather tell people about that Love like this, not with some little booklet in one hand and some hidden adgenda in the other. And, ya know, Campus Crusade seriously hates homosexuals and I'm not ok with that.
I'm just wondering why I didn't get schooled on this in How to Be a Presbyterian 101, aka Confirmation. But no, I was forced to draw pictures of my favorite Bible passage (the time when Jesus went badass and kicked tables over in the temple court <3), memorize the books of the Bible (that went over well -__-), and write down my prayers (like I was going to write down that I used to pray every night that I'd get a boyfriend). I was 13 years old. Maybe that's why they didn't tell me. When I was 13 I was pretty snotty.
Religion is a funny thing, no? All those words? Those are religion. No matter how hard I try to get away from it, it follows me. But underneath it all, after I shed all those syllables, I feel like I have this wellspring of love, wisdom, and most of all, forgiveness inside of me. I wonder if this is what being truly at peace with your faith feels like.
I feel like I'm a bohemian Christian.
Campus Crusade believes that EVERYONE at any time can get saved. Which is great for them. I just really am in love with the idea that God chose me. God thought of me. Also, I really believe there is more than one way to Heaven. I just choose Jesus as my avenue, and someone may choose Allah, and another may choose just living a very decent life. Absolute truths freak me out. So with my supralapsarianist beliefs, it's kind of ridiculous for me to knock on doors with some lameo, fake survey asking people about their neighborhood.
To me, faith isn't a matter of gathering people to sit inside your church every Sunday. In fact, I pretty much hate being in most churches. It's a matter of acceptance and reconciliation. It's personal. It's powerful. In ways, it's magical. I was made to love Jesus. Which is pretty awesome because I'm really, really screwed up and need someone to love me, too. I'd rather tell people about that Love like this, not with some little booklet in one hand and some hidden adgenda in the other. And, ya know, Campus Crusade seriously hates homosexuals and I'm not ok with that.
I'm just wondering why I didn't get schooled on this in How to Be a Presbyterian 101, aka Confirmation. But no, I was forced to draw pictures of my favorite Bible passage (the time when Jesus went badass and kicked tables over in the temple court <3), memorize the books of the Bible (that went over well -__-), and write down my prayers (like I was going to write down that I used to pray every night that I'd get a boyfriend). I was 13 years old. Maybe that's why they didn't tell me. When I was 13 I was pretty snotty.
Religion is a funny thing, no? All those words? Those are religion. No matter how hard I try to get away from it, it follows me. But underneath it all, after I shed all those syllables, I feel like I have this wellspring of love, wisdom, and most of all, forgiveness inside of me. I wonder if this is what being truly at peace with your faith feels like.
I feel like I'm a bohemian Christian.