trying for understanding

[this_guise]

they look to me with desperate eyes,
outcasts and introverts,
needing the attention,
needing the encouragement,
the hope that there is hope.
and i try to do two things at once,
but i slip, and i fail.
but to which one?
i cannot fail them,
so i fail myself.
and hold them up when they would fall.
and hope that its enough for someone to be ok,
even if that someone isnt me.
i look into their eyes,
and see the hunger for life,
and i try to give them what i cannot,
so i bleed from the heart,
because its more than i have in me to give.
then i wake,
to wonder why i dream these things,
and why time and time again i need to be the hero,
only this time i couldnt come to the rescue.
and take them from their fears,
left only to understand,
that they are me,
and i need the understanding,
or the thought someone is trying.
but no one ever does.
and i weep for the lost children of my dreams,
because sudden realisation,
reminds me i am alone,
and only i can help myself.