(no subject)
Okay, semi-proper update.
So I feel like I've gotten settled in Canberra fairly well now. I know I was feeling a bit displaced at first, looking back it's understandable - it was easy to make friends in Sweden because everyone was new. But here, it's like trying to edge into already formed friendship groups, much harder. I've done okay, being the awkward introvert that I am... I have a group of friends, I like them. I kind of have a crush on one of them. I don't think he's perfect - in fact, he's incredibly confusing. He says and does things that make me think that it's obviously reciprocated.. but then the next day, he'll do something that makes me think that he definitely doesn't like me like that. It's a bit of a headfuck, and I keep feeling like, eh, I'm 25 now, I should have this sorted, not playing stupid games with some guy who maybe likes me, maybe doesn't, maybe I like him, maybe I don't.
I honestly feel that my love life is the main thing that I'm doing bad at in life. That, and my health. I've tried to lose weight for years with minimal results. I actually think I'm making headway with the fitness thing this year, actually, as I've been running, the most I ever have - I do a minimum of 7kms of running per week and a few fitness classes, that's okay. But I still get depressed and eat too much at times... a lot of times, lately.
The PhD is going okay. I think. It always feels like a struggle for me to make the most of my opportunities here. I wish I wasn't so shy.
I just feel pretty average.
So I feel like I've gotten settled in Canberra fairly well now. I know I was feeling a bit displaced at first, looking back it's understandable - it was easy to make friends in Sweden because everyone was new. But here, it's like trying to edge into already formed friendship groups, much harder. I've done okay, being the awkward introvert that I am... I have a group of friends, I like them. I kind of have a crush on one of them. I don't think he's perfect - in fact, he's incredibly confusing. He says and does things that make me think that it's obviously reciprocated.. but then the next day, he'll do something that makes me think that he definitely doesn't like me like that. It's a bit of a headfuck, and I keep feeling like, eh, I'm 25 now, I should have this sorted, not playing stupid games with some guy who maybe likes me, maybe doesn't, maybe I like him, maybe I don't.
I honestly feel that my love life is the main thing that I'm doing bad at in life. That, and my health. I've tried to lose weight for years with minimal results. I actually think I'm making headway with the fitness thing this year, actually, as I've been running, the most I ever have - I do a minimum of 7kms of running per week and a few fitness classes, that's okay. But I still get depressed and eat too much at times... a lot of times, lately.
The PhD is going okay. I think. It always feels like a struggle for me to make the most of my opportunities here. I wish I wasn't so shy.
I just feel pretty average.