Oh, Mondays
So my roommate's quasi-boyfriend has gradually made the evolution from atheism to vague agnosticism to Christianity to that unnervingly negative level of conservative religion that leads to problems. And it got me thinking about religion. Most of which I think is really cool and positive and powerful, and some of which scares me to un-predetermined death.
And I've been asked to make the switch from atheism to fundamental Evangelism/Judaism/Jehova's Witnesses/etc. a couple times, which is cool, but most of the pamphlets I've gotten have been kind of scary stuff. I know, I know, groundbreaking news. But the only thing I can think is, even if I followed every single rule, even if I decided homophobia was the way to go, even if I covered myself up and prayed as many times as was necessary and confessed everything I've ever done wrong in my life, II'm pretty sure there must be some sort of check-in you go through upon entering this incredibly narrowly defined resting place. And I think I have a fair idea of the relatively few people who would qualify for entrance, and I am sure without a shadow of a doubt that if I got up to the gates and the Heaven Bouncer figured out that I would spend the rest of eternity picking fights with the other people trying to enjoy their rapture, I'd be out anyway.
So my theory is, if the people who tell me I'm on my way to hell are right about everything, I'm screwed anyway. There's no saving me, because even if I could quell all those temptations and "that's what she said jokes" for the rest of my life, who am I kidding, I wouldn't be able to handle keeping my mouth shut *for the rest of eternity.*
I have a nearly identical belief system to that of my roommates (one of whom is going to seminary and one of whom is planning to lead a church youth group), which I think is really cool. We all believe in service and in the general equality of human beings. They just believe that God's involved, and I don't. And I know it sounds super hippie, but I like it, and I wanted to share it with you, five lj friends. You're welcome.
ALSO, I spent today making tiny booklets out of a single sheet of computer paper and having an inner dilemma about whether it would be immoral to steal computer paper from Erie House since I don't do work half the time I'm there. I decided not to do it. I'm officially a good person. The booklets were awesome, by the way, and I am happy to have a new skill to add to my repertoire.
Skill List:
Make tiny booklets out of one sheet of paper, only cutting the paper ONCE...check.
Make a well-defined fish face...check.
Quote entire Ani Difranco songs from ten albums...check.
Comfort a four-year-old who's dealing with friend-betrayal...check.
Navigate the CTA without *looking* lost...check.
Real world...here I come.
And I've been asked to make the switch from atheism to fundamental Evangelism/Judaism/Jehova's Witnesses/etc. a couple times, which is cool, but most of the pamphlets I've gotten have been kind of scary stuff. I know, I know, groundbreaking news. But the only thing I can think is, even if I followed every single rule, even if I decided homophobia was the way to go, even if I covered myself up and prayed as many times as was necessary and confessed everything I've ever done wrong in my life, II'm pretty sure there must be some sort of check-in you go through upon entering this incredibly narrowly defined resting place. And I think I have a fair idea of the relatively few people who would qualify for entrance, and I am sure without a shadow of a doubt that if I got up to the gates and the Heaven Bouncer figured out that I would spend the rest of eternity picking fights with the other people trying to enjoy their rapture, I'd be out anyway.
So my theory is, if the people who tell me I'm on my way to hell are right about everything, I'm screwed anyway. There's no saving me, because even if I could quell all those temptations and "that's what she said jokes" for the rest of my life, who am I kidding, I wouldn't be able to handle keeping my mouth shut *for the rest of eternity.*
I have a nearly identical belief system to that of my roommates (one of whom is going to seminary and one of whom is planning to lead a church youth group), which I think is really cool. We all believe in service and in the general equality of human beings. They just believe that God's involved, and I don't. And I know it sounds super hippie, but I like it, and I wanted to share it with you, five lj friends. You're welcome.
ALSO, I spent today making tiny booklets out of a single sheet of computer paper and having an inner dilemma about whether it would be immoral to steal computer paper from Erie House since I don't do work half the time I'm there. I decided not to do it. I'm officially a good person. The booklets were awesome, by the way, and I am happy to have a new skill to add to my repertoire.
Skill List:
Make tiny booklets out of one sheet of paper, only cutting the paper ONCE...check.
Make a well-defined fish face...check.
Quote entire Ani Difranco songs from ten albums...check.
Comfort a four-year-old who's dealing with friend-betrayal...check.
Navigate the CTA without *looking* lost...check.
Real world...here I come.