here in these lights
i am home and it is restless.
five years ago i spent three days show-going and tea-drinking and being utterly urban / urbane, knowing this would and could be my life.
and it was for awhile. of course never as i intended, never as anyone wants. so i fled, after all sorts of tears and fights and anger and panic. but the moment i walked off the plane i knew where i wanted to be.
and now i know that i just can't be here anymore. with the quiet streets and the heat waves and a life like a travis song. time for something loud and busy and heavy in different ways. activities and plans that get carried out, friends and house guests and shows every other night. hybrid cars.
it is restless and i am trying to settle in and remember what i love about this place. but it is hard and getting harder.
(and he doesn't help, of course)
five years ago i spent three days show-going and tea-drinking and being utterly urban / urbane, knowing this would and could be my life.
and it was for awhile. of course never as i intended, never as anyone wants. so i fled, after all sorts of tears and fights and anger and panic. but the moment i walked off the plane i knew where i wanted to be.
and now i know that i just can't be here anymore. with the quiet streets and the heat waves and a life like a travis song. time for something loud and busy and heavy in different ways. activities and plans that get carried out, friends and house guests and shows every other night. hybrid cars.
it is restless and i am trying to settle in and remember what i love about this place. but it is hard and getting harder.
(and he doesn't help, of course)