Ooooh man, it's been a while everybody. But I have FOUR WHOLE CHAPTERS FINISHED for you now, for realz yo. 0_o THese are the chronological ones of doom so that's why this has taken me forever to post - they had to go in order >_>
This first one - Giving Up - comes immediately after
Abandoned and Say The Words and follows the plot of doom therein. (If those two parts are new to you it might be best to go back and start with the origin story instead.)
Whew. God I'm sorry I haven't updated this in forever. <3 to anyone who still cares to read all this crazy.
Theme: 3 - Giving Up
Fandom/Pairing: Naruto - Shikamaru/Tayuya/Temari
Title: Release
Author: Lady Zip
Rating: PG-13
Disclaimer: I wonder if Kishimoto-sama would accept a soul as a royalty payment…
On the day she gets out, Tayuya feels on top of the world. Although she had tossed and turned all night in her cell her first breath of free air - after three and a half years in jail - is the sweetest thing she’s ever tasted. She feels awake and alive and fully happy for the first time in a long time.
Then she sees Sakon.
And it takes her a minute to realise it’s him because she’s been under the impression that Sakon has been dead for the last four years. But that’s his hair - if a little longer - he’s built about the same as before and that is certainly Ukon’s creepy bobbling head hanging at his back.
As it happens, Ukon sees her first.
“Holy shit TAYUYA!?”
“THAT'S WHAT I'M SUPPOSED TO SAY, BITCH! What the fuck are you guys DOING HERE!!?”
“We just got released!” Sakon says, face just lighting up at the sight of her. “Waitaminute! Have you been here the whole time?!”
“Block fucking five!”
“Block seven!”
“GOD FUCKING DAMN BITCHES THEY TOLD ME YOU WERE ALL DEAD!!!!”
Sakon winces at her volume and covers his ears. Ukon rolls his head around to sit on his brother’s shoulder.
“Well hell… so… what now?”
“Shit, they gave me fifty or so, so I wouldn’t starve my first day out. I was planning on going and getting wasted with it. You wanna come with me?”
“Alcohol sounds nice and therapeutic right about now..."
Sitting in the bar they start going over their boxes - a square foot of space each, containing all their possessions from the last four years.
Sakon and Ukon have mostly books, some fiction, some anatomy manuals, some little notes on blue paper that they tuck away and obviously don't want Tayuya to read. Sakon brings out a yo-yo.
"Where did you get that?"
"Sakura gave it to us. The nurse that's been coming to see us since the start. Check ups, you know, that kind of thing. We got stabbed a lot of times."
Tayuya shrugs, shifting through her Go set, her flute, her Shogi pieces. Then she sees the envelope - neat and square, a soft tan colour, her name scrawled across the front in Shikamaru's unmistakable chicken scratch.
"Huh, this must have come just today." she mutters, and slices the envelope open with one fingernail. How unlike him to bother with mail. He was in town still, wasn't he?
The card inside is the same nice colour as the envelope but what is says isn't as nice.
She feels her heart dropping into her stomach like a stone. The realization is swift and painful and makes her more angry than sad.
Ukon shakes her arm uneasily. He's talking, but she's not listening.
Why didn't he tell me before now...?
"Tayuya, what's that look for? What, are you arrested again or something?"
"..........bastard is getting married..."
And all at once, she feels the happiness of freedom bleed away and leave her trapped again.
Theme: 19 - Time
Fandom/Pairing: Naruto - Shikamaru/Tayuya/Temari
Title: Oblivion
Author: Lady Zip
Rating: PG-13 (for Tayuya's mouth)
Disclaimer: Kishimoto-sama gets all my love.
When Tayuya was in prison, four years seemed as long as it possibly could. It felt like a lifetime, a nightmare, with one bright spot at the end of the tunnel - the knowledge that she would one day be free.
Freeing herself from Shikamaru is never going to be that easy.
In this it is not a waiting game. There will be no 'toughing things out', no 'just getting through the day'. You can't just tough out the rest of your life watching the only person you really care for side by side with the person HE cares for, and it isn't you...
She's watching him standing beside her under the archway. They're hand in hand. She's smiling like nothing so good has ever happened to her before (and she's probably right). And even though he has that posture about him - that stance with his foot cocked to one side, that screams that he thinks this whole process is troublesome and stupid - his face tells everyone that he's happy too with that rare, sweetly genuine smile.
It makes Tayuya want to scream.
What drives her most crazy about it is that she never meant to get attached. She spent her fist month in Konoha, lying in the hospital and flatly determined to hate everyone who came upon her. But then he saves her life, and starts bringing her board games to play, and carves a time and space for her out of a life that he is always complaining is too busy. He makes her feel she's worth something when he will disrupt even that hour of his precious time to come and see her.
But he leaves the most important person in his life out of all his stories, lies to her by omission for four years while he touches her shoulders, brushes her fingers with his and looks at her sometimes as if he's fighting with himself not to do what she wishes he would; what she is too proud and too scared to begin for herself. And god help her she would dream of it, his fingers in her hair and his lips on hers and the very thought makes her knees weak.
And that WEAKNESS she hates more than anything. Four years cooped up with one man as nearly all of her social contact and of course what can she do but love him so much it makes her want to kill him.
She gets up from her seat in the back as everyone else is standing to cheer them. She slips from the chair, moving awkwardly in her borrowed kimono, stumbling out into the dying sunlight fully intent on going out and getting so fucking soused that she won't remember how much she cried in the morning.
And then his hand touches her arm.
She's inches from escape, all she has to do is pull away and keep walking, but she's turning around and looking at him and the expression on his face is enough to make that traitorous heart beneath her ribs crack apart.
"You're going really early..."
Simple statement, it's his tone of voice that makes things complicated. If she were better at reading people she'd trust the part of her that hears some kind of longing in those words.
"I'm tired, and showing my mug at your reception would just be asking for trouble."
He frowns, his grip on her arm gentles and he steps down so he is standing on the street with her. He's too close and she can feel his heat, see the way his eyes glaze just that bit as he starts thinking too hard. His fingers touch her cheek and she freezes up, her whole body rising to betray her while he's breathing against her lips...
And then she breathes in, and the smell of his wife's perfume burns her lungs like acid. She jerks her head back, plants her hands on his shoulders as if to stay him where he stands.
"....Thank you for coming, 'Yuya."
She can only nod.
All in a moment, he lets her go and turns and leaves.
They let the moment drop into their oblivion of wasted opportunities, and she knows then - with a certainty that twists her stomach - that he will never be with her, no matter if he wants to be.
Up the stairs, back in the temple, she can hear Temari laughing.
Theme: 26 - Hidden
Fandom/Pairing: Naruto - Shikamaru/Tayuya/Temari
Title: Sideways Glance
Author: Lady Zip
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: *bows to Kishimoto-sama*
It’s impossible not to see it, no matter how well he thinks he hides it. Anyone else wouldn’t see it, but I’ve known him for all my life and I can read him like an open book. There is nothing more plain in this world to me than how much he wants that woman - and how scared he is to lose the other.
As is typical of him, he doesn’t lie when I ask. Tayuya is sitting on the porch, sipping at some drink or another in the dying rays of the sun. Temari and Ino are chatting civilly on the porch swing, including her in the conversation only when she chooses to put in her two cents.
He’s washing dishes when I bring it up, fiddling with his wedding ring, looking out the window at her. Her hair is down completely - it’s rare to see her without that skullcap of hers - and the sun going down behind her sets her off like she was on fire.
He’s got that look on his face, knowing she can’t see him, like he used to give to Temari when she wasn’t paying attention. He’s wondering if she has any idea how beautiful she is…
“Shikamaru?”
“Hnn?”
“You… are you okay?”
“Fine, why do you ask?” he pulls his eyes away from her after a long moment, and gives me a curious look.
“You keep staring at her.”
“She’s a little hard to miss.”
“You like her, don’t you?”
His face shifts, that uncomfortable expression he gets when he’s been cornered, and turns back to the dishes. He can’t even look at me and admit it.
“Hmm… I guess, yeah.”
“That’s a pretty casual way to talk about lusting after someone who’s not your wife.” I point out gently, leaning on the counter.
"It's not an issue, alright?" he sighs, tossing the dishtowel over his shoulder and shoving his hands back under the water, scrubbing at an already clean dish hard enough to take the paint off of it.
"Yes, it is an issue.”
“Oh you think running out of potato chip is an ‘issue’!” He snorts.
Taking potshots at my eating habits? Oh yeah. This is bad.
“Did you think nobody would notice? I’ve been your friend long enough. I’ve seen you two together, the way you talk, the way you look at her… It’s plain as day to someone who’s paying attention.” I heave a breath, trying to gather my thoughts. “Have… have you done anything with her?"
"No! Of course not!"
"But you want to?"
"Fuck yes! But if I do I lose Temari, so it's not going to happen!"
He slams the dish to the bottom of the sink, grips his fingers into the dishtowel and whips it down, looking at me full on with an anger in his eyes like I’ve never seen. Pure and complete frustration in every inch of him.
"...you're not happy like this."
He wilts at the accusation, turns away again, leans on the counter with his head in his hands and shoulders shaking. His voice is a whimper.
"I've got a woman I love who's good to me. She’s everything I wanted. More than that. I should be grateful, not pining for someone else too."
"She's going to see that you're not happy. She'll find out. You can’t just go thinking that she won’t know. How... how do you know you wouldn't be happier with Tayuya?"
"I DON'T know that! But for fucks sake I'm MARRIED! It doesn't matter if I love them both, I made my choice and I can't be that greedy…"
"You'll lose them both at this rate."
"Maybe not... maybe I can hold onto Tema... and if not, than maybe Tayuya will still be there..."
"What if she's not?"
".... don't ask me that. Don't talk about it like it's a possibility, please. I can't even begin to come up with a plan for that..."
And that’s when I realise just how desperate this is for him. When he can’t think his way out of this, with any kind of logic, I know for sure that his heart is thinking for him and it’s guidance is badly unclear.
“Shika…
"Leave it alone, Chouji."
And I do, because I can't think of a thing to say that could help him.
Theme: 2 - Kisses
Fandom/Pairing: Naruto - Shikamaru/Tayuya/Temari
Title: Allowance
Author: Lady Zip
Rating: PG
Disclaimer: *does the dance of Kishimoto*
Tayuya is paying close attention, standing awkwardly in the living room of Temari and Shikamaru's little house, still unaware of why she has been invited over in the first place. The little hairs, prickling on end at the back of her neck, tell her this is much more serious than being included in a group dinner with Chouji and Ino.
Temari’s voice is soft, and she lays her hand on Shikamaru’s shoulder. Her fingers are shaking but she keeps her expression calm and confident.
“It’s okay." she says to him softly. "Just go ahead.”
A look passes between them that Tayuya doesn’t quite grasp, but Shikamaru looks as if Temari has just taken all the weight in the world off of his shoulders.
“Please be sure. I…I don’t….”
“I’ve told you at least three times now. That’s sure enough. Just… please. I can’t stand the way you look at her anymore.”
Tayuya feels all her muscles tense at once, adrenaline hammering through her in one fell sweep. Fight or flight. You’ll kill him first or you’ll get away. But she doesn’t know which she’s expecting more - to be thrown out or to be hit - and she’s just frozen, staring back at him when he lays his hands on her shoulders, pets his fingers down her cheek…
The first moment is a sort of agony. The scar tissue packed down tight over old wounds all ripped loose at once… She’s spent so long ‘healing’, convincing herself that she has no business wanting this with him and that she should shut up and give up and one of these days she’ll tell him to just stop coming to see her so she can forget about what she can’t have.
And every broken bit of that dream she banished comes back in one white hot surge of his lips against hers and his arms around her and for a moment she thinks she could do something as weak and foolish as crying in front of him.
Temari is already crying for both of them.
When he pulls her close afterward, both of them panting for breath and fingers fisted in one another’s clothes, Tayuya sees a proud kunoichi still sitting at the edge of the sofa, rubbing tears from her cheeks. She feels guilty at once for her arms around this woman’s husband, trying to hide her face in Shikamaru’s shoulder as he pets her hair and nuzzles her neck. This affection with him feels like a hollow victory, having to face the one being ignored…
She knows - Temari did this for him. This was a gift for him, to let him have what he wants, and Tayuya thinks that that was foolish of her. That if she had a man like him no one else would ever touch him and how can she give up something so good to another woman?
And then only one arm is around her, he glances his lips against her forehead and turn his body to Temari, pulling her close against him as she presses possessively into his chest. Her shoulder is tucked in against Tayuya's, side by side in his arms, and Temari is shaking so hard that they all can feel it.
His lips bow to her ear, never giving her a moment's silence.
Thank you. Thank you. I love you.
Tayuya thinks that for the allowance of such a betrayal, he can never say it enough.
Aaaaaand now I'm gonna go die. -_-