[Fic] "The One Where Aliens Make Them Have Sex" -- Harry Potter, G/H/D, Theme 5
Author: Elizabeth Culmer edenfalling
Fandom/Pairing: Harry Potter, Ginny/Harry/Draco
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Theme: #5 - Love bites
Warnings: graphic sex, complete and utter crack, wildly AU, and probably OOC as well
Notes: The overall situation in this story is not meant to be taken seriously -- dear god, please don't take it seriously! -- but the theory about stars and planets putting out magical fields of varying spectra is actually my quite rational attempt to make sense of how hogwash like astrology can function in the HP world. The same goes for the blend of spaceships and Apparation; after all, I had to justify the incursion of sci-fi aliens into a fantasy setting somehow.
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The One Where Aliens Make Them Have Sex
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Muggles had hundreds of stories of aliens taking over the earth, and were thus somewhat prepared to fight. Wizards had never even thought of the possibility.
This was unfortunate, since the aliens melded magic with their science -- how else could they cross interstellar distances except by blending Apparation with spaceships? -- and quickly subdued the divided humans, in order to exploit the natural resources of the earth. Apparently each star and other celestial body put out a slightly different magical field (which explained how astrological divination functioned) and the sun, moon, and earth combined in a way the aliens found particularly useful for certain types of manufacturing processes.
Then the aliens discovered human sexuality. They were fascinated -- their own reproductive systems involved five different sexes and for them, sex was more like a committee meeting than anything fun, loving, or dangerous -- and promptly began training and exporting humans as exotic entertainment.
Ten years after the invasion, Harry Potter walked tiredly into his new quarters, wearing little more than a loincloth and his glasses. (The aliens found human eye corrective measures extremely amusing, especially when they caused complications during stage shows.) His previous owner-employer had just sold him to a bar and strip-joint on this backwater space station; the alien had grown tired of watching Harry and Amanda, since they had long since learned the nuances of each other's bodies and had grown inured to shame. The alien wanted something new to watch, and it found Amanda more aesthetically pleasing, so Harry found himself sold and transported with barely a day's warning to say goodbye to his only human companion of the past five years.
"At least at a strip joint you'll have more people to talk to," Amanda had said when they received the transfer papers. "I just hope our lord and master" -- the habitual sarcasm of the title had worn paper-thin over the years -- "hasn't decided on simulated rape as its new thing. I'm not sure I could take that."
"Maybe it wants to try lesbian porn," Harry had suggested as he brushed her hair.
Amanda had laughed. "At least then I'd get a little girl talk. No offense, Harry, but I've missed that. You can't bitch properly about periods and the lack of chocolate."
Now, two days later, Harry dumped his bag (it contained various costumes, one photo album, a locket that held wisps of red and brown hair, and a tarnished bracelet Amanda had given him) onto his new bed and set out to find the common area and his new 'partners.'
The last people he expected to see, when he walked in on what appeared to be a choreography session for a group orgy, were Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy.
Ginny had her legs clamped around a tall man with coffee-colored skin, riding him hard with one hand stretched to the side to tweak and pinch a woman's nipples. Malfoy was walking around the mass of naked, sweaty bodies with a critical eye.
"Afua, pull back your lips so we can see you using teeth on Menendez," he said to a woman with blue-black skin. "Menendez, for earth's sake, touch Wu Li like you mean it, not like you think her arse has some hideous disease -- I know what your last owner liked, but I swear we don't use shit or piss in our acts here." A Hispanic man rolled his eyes and rubbed his fingers around an Asian woman's anus with renewed force.
Harry stared. "Malfoy? Ginny? What in earth's name--"
The orgy rehearsal ground to a confused halt, and Ginny and Malfoy gaped in surprise. Ginny was the first to find her voice. "Harry? Harry Potter? It's really you?"
Harry nodded. "I just got sold here."
Malfoy snorted. "It figures -- no matter what happens, I can't get away from you people, can I? Well, at least I'll get the satisfaction of breaking you in."
"You will not," snapped Ginny, untangling herself from the coffee-colored man and the plump woman with heavy breasts. "I've been here as long as you and I have equal rights as a trainer. Harry's mine."
"In your dreams, Weasley," said Malfoy with a sneer.
Afua and the plump woman giggled quietly in the background, while Menendez sent Harry a commiserating look. Wu Li just shook her head and lay back with a sigh. The coffee-colored man wandered over to the water dispenser.
Harry wondered which star, with what particular unfortunate magical field, had been shining at his birth to doom him to this life.
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Okay, so I didn't actually manage to work in pole dancing. Still, I think the rest of this ficlet is bizarre enough to excuse that lapse. *smiles angelically*
Fandom/Pairing: Harry Potter, Ginny/Harry/Draco
Disclaimer: This story is based on characters and situations created and owned by JK Rowling, various publishers including but not limited to Bloomsbury Books, Scholastic Books and Raincoast Books, and Warner Bros., Inc. No money is being made and no copyright or trademark infringement is intended.
Theme: #5 - Love bites
Warnings: graphic sex, complete and utter crack, wildly AU, and probably OOC as well
Notes: The overall situation in this story is not meant to be taken seriously -- dear god, please don't take it seriously! -- but the theory about stars and planets putting out magical fields of varying spectra is actually my quite rational attempt to make sense of how hogwash like astrology can function in the HP world. The same goes for the blend of spaceships and Apparation; after all, I had to justify the incursion of sci-fi aliens into a fantasy setting somehow.
---------------------------------------------
The One Where Aliens Make Them Have Sex
---------------------------------------------
Muggles had hundreds of stories of aliens taking over the earth, and were thus somewhat prepared to fight. Wizards had never even thought of the possibility.
This was unfortunate, since the aliens melded magic with their science -- how else could they cross interstellar distances except by blending Apparation with spaceships? -- and quickly subdued the divided humans, in order to exploit the natural resources of the earth. Apparently each star and other celestial body put out a slightly different magical field (which explained how astrological divination functioned) and the sun, moon, and earth combined in a way the aliens found particularly useful for certain types of manufacturing processes.
Then the aliens discovered human sexuality. They were fascinated -- their own reproductive systems involved five different sexes and for them, sex was more like a committee meeting than anything fun, loving, or dangerous -- and promptly began training and exporting humans as exotic entertainment.
Ten years after the invasion, Harry Potter walked tiredly into his new quarters, wearing little more than a loincloth and his glasses. (The aliens found human eye corrective measures extremely amusing, especially when they caused complications during stage shows.) His previous owner-employer had just sold him to a bar and strip-joint on this backwater space station; the alien had grown tired of watching Harry and Amanda, since they had long since learned the nuances of each other's bodies and had grown inured to shame. The alien wanted something new to watch, and it found Amanda more aesthetically pleasing, so Harry found himself sold and transported with barely a day's warning to say goodbye to his only human companion of the past five years.
"At least at a strip joint you'll have more people to talk to," Amanda had said when they received the transfer papers. "I just hope our lord and master" -- the habitual sarcasm of the title had worn paper-thin over the years -- "hasn't decided on simulated rape as its new thing. I'm not sure I could take that."
"Maybe it wants to try lesbian porn," Harry had suggested as he brushed her hair.
Amanda had laughed. "At least then I'd get a little girl talk. No offense, Harry, but I've missed that. You can't bitch properly about periods and the lack of chocolate."
Now, two days later, Harry dumped his bag (it contained various costumes, one photo album, a locket that held wisps of red and brown hair, and a tarnished bracelet Amanda had given him) onto his new bed and set out to find the common area and his new 'partners.'
The last people he expected to see, when he walked in on what appeared to be a choreography session for a group orgy, were Ginny Weasley and Draco Malfoy.
Ginny had her legs clamped around a tall man with coffee-colored skin, riding him hard with one hand stretched to the side to tweak and pinch a woman's nipples. Malfoy was walking around the mass of naked, sweaty bodies with a critical eye.
"Afua, pull back your lips so we can see you using teeth on Menendez," he said to a woman with blue-black skin. "Menendez, for earth's sake, touch Wu Li like you mean it, not like you think her arse has some hideous disease -- I know what your last owner liked, but I swear we don't use shit or piss in our acts here." A Hispanic man rolled his eyes and rubbed his fingers around an Asian woman's anus with renewed force.
Harry stared. "Malfoy? Ginny? What in earth's name--"
The orgy rehearsal ground to a confused halt, and Ginny and Malfoy gaped in surprise. Ginny was the first to find her voice. "Harry? Harry Potter? It's really you?"
Harry nodded. "I just got sold here."
Malfoy snorted. "It figures -- no matter what happens, I can't get away from you people, can I? Well, at least I'll get the satisfaction of breaking you in."
"You will not," snapped Ginny, untangling herself from the coffee-colored man and the plump woman with heavy breasts. "I've been here as long as you and I have equal rights as a trainer. Harry's mine."
"In your dreams, Weasley," said Malfoy with a sneer.
Afua and the plump woman giggled quietly in the background, while Menendez sent Harry a commiserating look. Wu Li just shook her head and lay back with a sigh. The coffee-colored man wandered over to the water dispenser.
Harry wondered which star, with what particular unfortunate magical field, had been shining at his birth to doom him to this life.
---------------------------------------------
Okay, so I didn't actually manage to work in pole dancing. Still, I think the rest of this ficlet is bizarre enough to excuse that lapse. *smiles angelically*