The future
What am I doing? I thought that I might gain some respect when I started in the real world. In reality, all I've done is lost it... for myself. Not because I've done anything stupid, but because I cannot control myself as I used to be able to. I do not have the strength that I used to have. I used to own myself and my decisions. I want to fight for it back, but I end up giving up. I never used to quit.
And what am I doing with my life? I don't care if I'm still 22. I want to be on a path. A path to something great. Epic. I wanted to be in a specialized field, which I am, but it's not helpful. I help the rich get richer off of other's sins. This bothers me.
I'm not helping those who need it. I've thought about being a fireman. I'd enjoy the job, and I think I'd be good at it. But what will I do on the side? Firefighters don't get paid enough for the lifestyle that I want. I don't have any special skills. Mainly mediocre at everything.
I wish I could motivate myself like I used to. I used to own my body and mind.
And what am I doing with my life? I don't care if I'm still 22. I want to be on a path. A path to something great. Epic. I wanted to be in a specialized field, which I am, but it's not helpful. I help the rich get richer off of other's sins. This bothers me.
I'm not helping those who need it. I've thought about being a fireman. I'd enjoy the job, and I think I'd be good at it. But what will I do on the side? Firefighters don't get paid enough for the lifestyle that I want. I don't have any special skills. Mainly mediocre at everything.
I wish I could motivate myself like I used to. I used to own my body and mind.