It's a post. A posty post.

Jun 09, 2009 23:25


0. Mostly, I wanted to show off this icon I made. *points*

1. Writer's block like whoa. I get like one sentence out and get distracted by something shiny. My brain's doing something that goes a little bit like Trek! Jooster! Joostertrek! No, wait! Fireflytrek! TorchJooster! Ianto is Jeeves and they're on the Enterprise and run into Serenity! And ( Read more... )

jeeves and wooster, writing, firefly, gen, torchwood, fanvomit, kingdom, crossover, ianto/jeeves, fic

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thirstyrobot June 12 2009, 02:56:58 UTC
Uhhhhh. This came out cracky. Which was probably inevitable. XD

"I'm gonna put the both of you on medical restriction from landing parties if you can't keep from riling up the locals," McCoy grumbled, tweezing a few gold threads out of a six-clawed gash on Jim's chest before irrigating it the old-fashioned way for punishment.

"Ow!" Jim complained. "Don't blame me, blame Wooster." He jerked his thumb at the Records officer.

"Well, Lieutenant?"

Wooster held up his bandaged hands. "I couldn't have known 'what ho' means 'please mob us like a bunch of bally locusts and rip our clothes off.'"

"Actaully, sir, in the Nulithian language, it means, 'I have come in search of many wives,'" said a voice from the doorway.

"Oh, thank you so very much, Jeeves," Wooster said, holding out his arms for the shirt Jeeves was carrying. "We've talked about telling me these things beforehand, haven't we?"

Jeeves helped Wooster into the shirt and smoothed his hair down. "An oversight on my part, sir. I apologise."

McCoy had long ago given up trying to remind Jeeves that he actually outranked Wooster. It was some cultural thing from their planet that he would never understand. Instead he just rolled his eyes and turned back to glaring at Jim. "So it was his fault this time. What about Rigel XI?"

"That wine was drugged!" Jim and Wooster said in unison.

McCoy groaned and jabbed each of them with an antibiotic hypo with much more force than necessary.

"Dammit, Bones!" Jim snapped, rubbing at his neck. "Status report, Mr. Jeeves."

"The Nulithian governors have agreed to the terms of the mining agreement," Jeeves said like it ought to have been obvious.

"Not that I'm complaining," Jim said, brows furrowed, "but how'd we get from the wife mob to diplomatic tranquility?"

"A regrettable oversight on my part, Captain. It was not until negotiations were closed that Lieutenant Uhura reminded me that 'very good, madam' might sound very much like the Nulithian phrase for 'intercourse with human males is quite painful.'"

McCoy bit his lip to keep from laughing. "Somebody ought to correct that."

"When we're far, far away," Jim said.

"If you have no further need for Lieutenant Wooster, Doctor?" Jeeves asked.

"No, go on. Make sure he gets some rest." Medical orders for the headache known as Wooster got followed a lot better if they were given to Jeeves, McCoy had learned after they'd been on the ship about a week. "What?" McCoy asked at the pensive look on Jim's face as Jeeves ushered Wooster out of sickbay.

"Oh, just wondering if Jeeves calls him 'sir' in bed." The grin was impish and adorable, but the mental image wasn't one he wanted of Wooster. Jeeves, maybe, but not Wooster.

"I hope you enjoy the company of your right hand for the next six months, 'cause I'm not gonna be able to get it up," McCoy growled, but doing it that close to Jim's ear made a liar out of him right then and there.

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storyfan June 12 2009, 03:03:38 UTC
Cracky goodness. Crackity, crackity goodness.

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random_nexus June 12 2009, 03:09:37 UTC
YAAAAAAAAAAYYYY!!!! *supersonic muppet flail*
That was awesome!!!!
You rock so hard they'll have to readjust the planet's orbit!
\o/

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seularen June 12 2009, 04:27:08 UTC
*FLAILS MADLY*

Oh man, oh man, that is the absolute best. Cracky crossover is chock-full of delicious.

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chaoticchaos13 June 12 2009, 04:33:03 UTC
ZOMG Yes.

squeeeee

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drinktobones October 15 2009, 21:53:08 UTC
i've read this, like, five times already and i just can't get enough. someone [hint, hint] needs to write this as full-length fic. not even necessarily this particular scenario, just j&w/nu!trek crossover/fusion.

my favourite part is jeeves outranking bertie, yet still acting the part of a gentleman's personal gentleman, and the whole deal being a "cultural thing from their planet" that bones will never understand. i lol at that every time i read it (:

carry on!

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