Jeeves/Wooster Dictionary Fraglets 7-8/20
You'd think I would produce much more in the amount of time I've taken to do it. Alas. There's not even much to these, and I'd spend a good bit more time on the first if I had my druthers, but I'd like to move on.
Ye of slow connections beware of the second one.
Also, thanks to chaoschick13 without whose suggestion I might still be waffling over what to do about Blister.
Source images are © their respective owners.
ETA: Images fixed! Sorry!
Previous efforts || Table of doom
7. PG-13, 870 words
In which the prompt gets a vague mention and is then discarded in favour of bathtime: Blister
8. PG-maybe, ~300 words
In which we are epistolatory and image-heavy: ( Non-Response )
Blister
BERTIE YOU MISERABLE BLISTER STOP DO YOU THINK I CARE WHAT YOU GET UP TO STOP KNOWN FOR YEARS ANYWAY STOP NOW BOTH OF YOU GET BACK HERE FOR VASE PLAN OR NOT SO MUCH AS A CELERY STICK FROM ANATOLE EVER AGAIN STOP LOVE TRAVERS
I don't mind telling you I melted into a puddle of relief, and quite soon after into a puddle of something else altogether as I was swept up into a triumphant embrace and carried off for a bit of celebration.
It wasn't until some while later, when I was squashed into a nice warm bath with Jeeves wrapped round my back and doing lazy shivery things to my front, that the full import or significance of Aunt Dahlia's message hit me. "What does she mean-- stop that a moment, I can't think. What does she mean 'known for years?' It's only been what, a month?"
"One month and three days," Jeeves informed, ever the soul of precision, ticklish lips and breath on my ear no more in aid of clear thought than what his hand had been doing. "And approximately six hours," he added alongside a light application of teeth.
"Oh," I said, and it was not an aha! sort of oh, for in addition to all this nibbling of ears, one of those capable hands of his had stolen back under the water and was doing its level best to make a rather exhausted part of me stand up and take notice. "That's-- mm-- nice, but I think I'll need a bit longer yet before I can--" He bit my neck. "I say, are you trying to keep me from thinking, Jeeves? Because you're doing a bally good job of it."
"My apologies," he murmured, neither sounding very sorry at all nor stopping what he was doing. "You were saying?"
"I was wondering what-- could you possibly see your way to not doing that while we discuss my aunt? I'm bound to get one of those complexes you're always on about." He stopped, though it was rather a wrench. I squirmed about a bit until I could look at him after a backwards and sideways sort of fashion. "How does Aunt Dahlia mean she's known for years? There was nothing to know."
"One must assume that Mrs Travers believed there to be," Jeeves said with a rummy shifting-away of eyes. "There was an... incident two summers ago that might have led her to such a conclusion."
"An incident? What incident? She never said anything to me."
"Nor to me, much to my relief at the time." The markedly soupy tone might have led one to believe he was speaking of a railway accident or similar unhappy event.
"Well?"
He sighed. "It was in the course of a tennis match between yourself and Miss Travers. I was nearby and found myself transfixed by your laughter and the way you looked in the sunlight." This was not said so much soupily as fondly with a gentle sweep of knuckles down my arm. I held back the question that sprung to mind in order to let him finish. "I forgot myself for too long a moment and Mrs Travers noticed it. I was paralysed by fear, but she simply narrowed her eyes briefly before nodding once and walking back to the house. When no consequences had come about by that evening, I assumed that she had reached some fortunate but incorrect conclusion."
"Well, I suppose she had, at that. So, the laughter and sunlight and tennis and all-- was that the moment?" He'd said 'for some time' in the course of the requisite declarations, but he'd never put a finger on exactly when. "When the bolt of Cupid fell, as the fellow said?" Two years seemed like an awfully long time to go about harbouring some secret pash, as I well knew from the h. of my own s. p., which I hadn't been able to stand past six months before confessing all.
"It was simply the moment that I succumbed to the wound," he said. "I find it difficult to name any single occasion as 'the' moment."
"It came on gradually, you mean?"
"Just so."
"So why this soupiness about telling the tale? I see nothing in it to warrant soup of any sort, except for me to be sorry you had to wait so long."
"My motives for aiding the dissolution of the majority of your engagements were selfish; I feared--"
"What does it matter what your motives were? But for the odd moment of madness you happily cleared up, I've always known I'm far better off with you, romance or no."
That earned me a smile, more or less a full one. They were still a rare species, but getting less so every day with the encouragement I heaped on every time I saw one. In this case I craned upwards for a backward and sideways sort of kiss, not at all inferior despite the odd angle.
"Have we concluded discussion of your relatives?" Jeeves asked when we parted. He gave a small demonstration of what might go on if we were.
"Oh, rather!" I reached out to turn the rubber duck's face to the wall.
8. PG-maybe, ~300 words
In which we are epistolatory and image-heavy:
Non-Response
Mr Wooster,
No possible amends can be made for the atrocities I perpetrated on you in a moment of weakness. It is as a selfish coward that I now flee. I have no right to beg your mercy, sir, but I swear to you that the pain I now bear is worse than any punishment the law could visit.
I must also offer my sincerest apologies for departing in this abrupt manner, but I see no other option. I have engaged what I hope will be a suitable replacement. He will arrvie tomorrow and may dispose of my remaining belongings as he sees fit.
I am truly sorry, sir.
RCJ
15 APRIL 1932
HANDED IN AT LONDON W1 GPO 4:34
RECEIVED HERE AT 5:26
MABEL BIFFEN BODENHAM GRANGE BODENHAM HEREFORDSHIRE
EMERGENCY IF SEE JEEVES STOP YOUR UNCLE YOU KNOW STOP SAY ALL WELL NO ATROCITIES STOP HAS GOT IT ALL WRONG STOP AND COME BACK NOW DASH IT STOP WOOSTER
15 APRIL 1932
HANDED IN AT LONDON W1 GPO 4:38
RECEIVED HERE AT 5:56
CHARLES SILVERSMITH DEVERILL HALL KINGS DEVERILL SOUTH HAMPSHIRE
SORRY TO BOTHER BUT EMERGENCY STOP IF SEE JEEVES STOP YOUR NEPHEW YOU KNOW STOP PLEASE TELL HIM ALL WELL AND COME BACK STOP SEND SAME WORD OUT TO OTHER RELATIONS AND WHAT NOT IF YOU CAN STOP THANKS AWFULLY STOP WOOSTER
Postmarked 16 April 1932
Birmingham
Mr Reginald Jeeves
Poste Restante
Birmingham
Jeeves,
Can't think why you'd go to Birmingham but trying everywhere. Please come back. You've got it all wrong! Could not have got it wronger. Life dust and ashes. Doom and gloom. Come back.
B.
Postmarked 27 April 1932
Charleroi, Belgium
Mr Bertram Wooster
6A Berkely Mansions
London W1
England
Mr Wooster:
Several messages reached me. Reluctant to return without assurance of safety. Remaining here sufficient time for answer by wire.
RCJ
RECU DE LONDRES ANGLETERRE 30 AVRIL 21:35
ENVOI A R. JEEVES POSTE RESTANTE CHARLEROI
JEEVES WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR STOP OF COURSE SAFE YOU SILLY ASS STOP TIE THAT BINDS AND ALL STOP RETURN DIRECTLY STOP ALL WILL BE WELL STOP BERTIE
1 MARCH 1932
HANDED IN AT CHARLEROI, BELGIUM 1:08
RECEIVED HERE AT 2:59
B WOOSTER BERKELY MANSIONS LONDON W1 ENGLAND
DEPARTING NEXT TRAIN STOP ARRIVE LONDON THIRD MAY STOP RCJ
Ye of slow connections beware of the second one.
Also, thanks to chaoschick13 without whose suggestion I might still be waffling over what to do about Blister.
Source images are © their respective owners.
ETA: Images fixed! Sorry!
Previous efforts || Table of doom
7. PG-13, 870 words
In which the prompt gets a vague mention and is then discarded in favour of bathtime: Blister
8. PG-maybe, ~300 words
In which we are epistolatory and image-heavy: ( Non-Response )
Blister
BERTIE YOU MISERABLE BLISTER STOP DO YOU THINK I CARE WHAT YOU GET UP TO STOP KNOWN FOR YEARS ANYWAY STOP NOW BOTH OF YOU GET BACK HERE FOR VASE PLAN OR NOT SO MUCH AS A CELERY STICK FROM ANATOLE EVER AGAIN STOP LOVE TRAVERS
I don't mind telling you I melted into a puddle of relief, and quite soon after into a puddle of something else altogether as I was swept up into a triumphant embrace and carried off for a bit of celebration.
It wasn't until some while later, when I was squashed into a nice warm bath with Jeeves wrapped round my back and doing lazy shivery things to my front, that the full import or significance of Aunt Dahlia's message hit me. "What does she mean-- stop that a moment, I can't think. What does she mean 'known for years?' It's only been what, a month?"
"One month and three days," Jeeves informed, ever the soul of precision, ticklish lips and breath on my ear no more in aid of clear thought than what his hand had been doing. "And approximately six hours," he added alongside a light application of teeth.
"Oh," I said, and it was not an aha! sort of oh, for in addition to all this nibbling of ears, one of those capable hands of his had stolen back under the water and was doing its level best to make a rather exhausted part of me stand up and take notice. "That's-- mm-- nice, but I think I'll need a bit longer yet before I can--" He bit my neck. "I say, are you trying to keep me from thinking, Jeeves? Because you're doing a bally good job of it."
"My apologies," he murmured, neither sounding very sorry at all nor stopping what he was doing. "You were saying?"
"I was wondering what-- could you possibly see your way to not doing that while we discuss my aunt? I'm bound to get one of those complexes you're always on about." He stopped, though it was rather a wrench. I squirmed about a bit until I could look at him after a backwards and sideways sort of fashion. "How does Aunt Dahlia mean she's known for years? There was nothing to know."
"One must assume that Mrs Travers believed there to be," Jeeves said with a rummy shifting-away of eyes. "There was an... incident two summers ago that might have led her to such a conclusion."
"An incident? What incident? She never said anything to me."
"Nor to me, much to my relief at the time." The markedly soupy tone might have led one to believe he was speaking of a railway accident or similar unhappy event.
"Well?"
He sighed. "It was in the course of a tennis match between yourself and Miss Travers. I was nearby and found myself transfixed by your laughter and the way you looked in the sunlight." This was not said so much soupily as fondly with a gentle sweep of knuckles down my arm. I held back the question that sprung to mind in order to let him finish. "I forgot myself for too long a moment and Mrs Travers noticed it. I was paralysed by fear, but she simply narrowed her eyes briefly before nodding once and walking back to the house. When no consequences had come about by that evening, I assumed that she had reached some fortunate but incorrect conclusion."
"Well, I suppose she had, at that. So, the laughter and sunlight and tennis and all-- was that the moment?" He'd said 'for some time' in the course of the requisite declarations, but he'd never put a finger on exactly when. "When the bolt of Cupid fell, as the fellow said?" Two years seemed like an awfully long time to go about harbouring some secret pash, as I well knew from the h. of my own s. p., which I hadn't been able to stand past six months before confessing all.
"It was simply the moment that I succumbed to the wound," he said. "I find it difficult to name any single occasion as 'the' moment."
"It came on gradually, you mean?"
"Just so."
"So why this soupiness about telling the tale? I see nothing in it to warrant soup of any sort, except for me to be sorry you had to wait so long."
"My motives for aiding the dissolution of the majority of your engagements were selfish; I feared--"
"What does it matter what your motives were? But for the odd moment of madness you happily cleared up, I've always known I'm far better off with you, romance or no."
That earned me a smile, more or less a full one. They were still a rare species, but getting less so every day with the encouragement I heaped on every time I saw one. In this case I craned upwards for a backward and sideways sort of kiss, not at all inferior despite the odd angle.
"Have we concluded discussion of your relatives?" Jeeves asked when we parted. He gave a small demonstration of what might go on if we were.
"Oh, rather!" I reached out to turn the rubber duck's face to the wall.
8. PG-maybe, ~300 words
In which we are epistolatory and image-heavy:
Non-Response
Mr Wooster,
No possible amends can be made for the atrocities I perpetrated on you in a moment of weakness. It is as a selfish coward that I now flee. I have no right to beg your mercy, sir, but I swear to you that the pain I now bear is worse than any punishment the law could visit.
I must also offer my sincerest apologies for departing in this abrupt manner, but I see no other option. I have engaged what I hope will be a suitable replacement. He will arrvie tomorrow and may dispose of my remaining belongings as he sees fit.
I am truly sorry, sir.
RCJ
15 APRIL 1932
HANDED IN AT LONDON W1 GPO 4:34
RECEIVED HERE AT 5:26
MABEL BIFFEN BODENHAM GRANGE BODENHAM HEREFORDSHIRE
EMERGENCY IF SEE JEEVES STOP YOUR UNCLE YOU KNOW STOP SAY ALL WELL NO ATROCITIES STOP HAS GOT IT ALL WRONG STOP AND COME BACK NOW DASH IT STOP WOOSTER
15 APRIL 1932
HANDED IN AT LONDON W1 GPO 4:38
RECEIVED HERE AT 5:56
CHARLES SILVERSMITH DEVERILL HALL KINGS DEVERILL SOUTH HAMPSHIRE
SORRY TO BOTHER BUT EMERGENCY STOP IF SEE JEEVES STOP YOUR NEPHEW YOU KNOW STOP PLEASE TELL HIM ALL WELL AND COME BACK STOP SEND SAME WORD OUT TO OTHER RELATIONS AND WHAT NOT IF YOU CAN STOP THANKS AWFULLY STOP WOOSTER
Postmarked 16 April 1932
Birmingham
Mr Reginald Jeeves
Poste Restante
Birmingham
Jeeves,
Can't think why you'd go to Birmingham but trying everywhere. Please come back. You've got it all wrong! Could not have got it wronger. Life dust and ashes. Doom and gloom. Come back.
B.
Postmarked 27 April 1932
Charleroi, Belgium
Mr Bertram Wooster
6A Berkely Mansions
London W1
England
Mr Wooster:
Several messages reached me. Reluctant to return without assurance of safety. Remaining here sufficient time for answer by wire.
RCJ
RECU DE LONDRES ANGLETERRE 30 AVRIL 21:35
ENVOI A R. JEEVES POSTE RESTANTE CHARLEROI
JEEVES WHAT DO YOU TAKE ME FOR STOP OF COURSE SAFE YOU SILLY ASS STOP TIE THAT BINDS AND ALL STOP RETURN DIRECTLY STOP ALL WILL BE WELL STOP BERTIE
1 MARCH 1932
HANDED IN AT CHARLEROI, BELGIUM 1:08
RECEIVED HERE AT 2:59
B WOOSTER BERKELY MANSIONS LONDON W1 ENGLAND
DEPARTING NEXT TRAIN STOP ARRIVE LONDON THIRD MAY STOP RCJ