Jervis Bay
I'm back to being in a bit of an odd mental state. Nice things include I'm sitting in a shady spot in sunny Jervis Bay. I slept beautifully last night and nearly feel rested. Robyn is just amazing-incredibly welcoming and fun to talk to. There is the prospect of going and seeing a ruined lighthouse later and swimming in the sea. [Fun story about the lighthouse- it was built in 1860 and decommissioned after 39 years after they worked out the rate of shipwrecks had increased. And then they shelled it as the lighthouse sandstone glowed enough to trick boats in to wrecking even when unlight.]
HOWEVER I'm back to not knowing what to do about Heather and I feel queasy even thinking about it. I haven't been sleeping well. I like her but I feel like I am being pushed in to something too fast, or faster than I am comfortable with. It makes me want to bolt sometimes. I'm unsure where the line is between working out how to date Person X and compromising who you actually are. I've sold myself out in previous relationships and I don't want to do that again. At the same time she is still getting over major heartbreak, and seems to have issues being happy in a life and with a person that was not the life and person that she moved to Australia for. Which seems to be taken out on me occasionally.
It will either work out or it won't and either way I'll be fine. Because I'm FRICKING ACES, dammit.
UPDATE: Kezia and I went to the lighthouse. Whoever wrote the information sign has a lovely line in snide. There was swimming in the sea in a national park. My mood has picked up immensely. We have cherries. Also there is a carnival in Huskisson.
HOWEVER I'm back to not knowing what to do about Heather and I feel queasy even thinking about it. I haven't been sleeping well. I like her but I feel like I am being pushed in to something too fast, or faster than I am comfortable with. It makes me want to bolt sometimes. I'm unsure where the line is between working out how to date Person X and compromising who you actually are. I've sold myself out in previous relationships and I don't want to do that again. At the same time she is still getting over major heartbreak, and seems to have issues being happy in a life and with a person that was not the life and person that she moved to Australia for. Which seems to be taken out on me occasionally.
It will either work out or it won't and either way I'll be fine. Because I'm FRICKING ACES, dammit.
UPDATE: Kezia and I went to the lighthouse. Whoever wrote the information sign has a lovely line in snide. There was swimming in the sea in a national park. My mood has picked up immensely. We have cherries. Also there is a carnival in Huskisson.