"Everybody knows, everybody knows where we're going...
...Yeah, we're goin' down."
I cannot believe this year is ending. It's absolutely incredible to believe how fast each year is going by for me. This year was a bit rocky, a lot of rough times, questioning a lot of things. I was weaker, sadder, more tired than most years. I'm proud of myself for getting through it though. My family had a rough year as a whole, too. Nothing breaks you down faster than when you stable rock, your foundation, shows signs of turmoil. I know next year, 2010, will be better for us all though. Let's think back. The year was filled with Stater banquets, boyfriend moments, family troubles, online scams, early mornings, drunken nights, photography experiences, endless songs, a lack of dorms with a gain of a house, a new car, old friends ...
To think that there have been 365 more days I have lived tacked on to my life seems unreal. What did I do each of those days? I can hardly remember now. But somehow each minute was a unique moment to help create the me that sits before this computer. I've learned so much, experienced so much. I've made some amazing friends and i've lost some amazing ones, too..
Looking back, it wasn't the best year. But I'm okay with it. For some reason, I'm surprisingly calm with it right now. The year to come will have just as many lessons, changes and challenges as this year, if not more. Who knows what it has in store for me, or who I might become by the end of it. Who knows if I will even remember this journal. I'm not really afraid of it though. I know God has given me so much and I'm so blessed to experience this crazy, quirky, insanely b e a u t i f u l world.
For the new year, I'd say I'm not making a resolution per se, more of a promise, which if you know me, you know what this means. This promise, a promise to myself, to my family, to my God and to my friends: I'm going to work on ME this year. I'm going to get back to being comfortable with myself. Confident. Caring. Loving. Selfless. It seems to me that this past year has caused me to lose a little bit of faith. I promise to find that again God, for nothing else is important, nothing else matters if I do not have faith, if I do not have You. The year made me a bit harder, a bit colder, more short-tempered. I promise to regain the sweetness, this care, concern and love to those with whom I am closest---AND to those I don't know because they matter, too. I promise to feel confortable in my own shoes, to regain strength, courage and confidence in all my endeavors. I promise to smile more, laugh often and fear seldom. To -b r e a t h e- in the wisdom of those I encounter, to be proud, friendly and sincere. I promise this to myself.
Stress. Tears. Fear. Loss. Failure. Despair.---I'm sure to encounter these among the next twelve months. But they must not define my year. They must not define me. If I've in any way touched your life within the past 365 days, I can only hope it was in a positive manner that your heart reacted to my presence. If not, I'm wholeheartedly sorry, and I hope your next days are of your most beautiful. Because that's what we all are. That's what this planet is, our mistakes, our achievments, our misfortunes, our souls .. That's what life is, in the purest sense of the world. That's what life is:
It's B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.
Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life
Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life
When you're happy like a fool
Let it take you over
When everything is out
You gotta take it in
Hopelessly
I feel like there might be something that I'll miss
Hopelessly
I feel like the window closes oh so quick
Hopelessly
I'm taking a mental picture of you now
'Cuz hopelessly
The hope is we have so much to feel good about
*goodnight beautiful.
I cannot believe this year is ending. It's absolutely incredible to believe how fast each year is going by for me. This year was a bit rocky, a lot of rough times, questioning a lot of things. I was weaker, sadder, more tired than most years. I'm proud of myself for getting through it though. My family had a rough year as a whole, too. Nothing breaks you down faster than when you stable rock, your foundation, shows signs of turmoil. I know next year, 2010, will be better for us all though. Let's think back. The year was filled with Stater banquets, boyfriend moments, family troubles, online scams, early mornings, drunken nights, photography experiences, endless songs, a lack of dorms with a gain of a house, a new car, old friends ...
To think that there have been 365 more days I have lived tacked on to my life seems unreal. What did I do each of those days? I can hardly remember now. But somehow each minute was a unique moment to help create the me that sits before this computer. I've learned so much, experienced so much. I've made some amazing friends and i've lost some amazing ones, too..
Looking back, it wasn't the best year. But I'm okay with it. For some reason, I'm surprisingly calm with it right now. The year to come will have just as many lessons, changes and challenges as this year, if not more. Who knows what it has in store for me, or who I might become by the end of it. Who knows if I will even remember this journal. I'm not really afraid of it though. I know God has given me so much and I'm so blessed to experience this crazy, quirky, insanely b e a u t i f u l world.
For the new year, I'd say I'm not making a resolution per se, more of a promise, which if you know me, you know what this means. This promise, a promise to myself, to my family, to my God and to my friends: I'm going to work on ME this year. I'm going to get back to being comfortable with myself. Confident. Caring. Loving. Selfless. It seems to me that this past year has caused me to lose a little bit of faith. I promise to find that again God, for nothing else is important, nothing else matters if I do not have faith, if I do not have You. The year made me a bit harder, a bit colder, more short-tempered. I promise to regain the sweetness, this care, concern and love to those with whom I am closest---AND to those I don't know because they matter, too. I promise to feel confortable in my own shoes, to regain strength, courage and confidence in all my endeavors. I promise to smile more, laugh often and fear seldom. To -b r e a t h e- in the wisdom of those I encounter, to be proud, friendly and sincere. I promise this to myself.
Stress. Tears. Fear. Loss. Failure. Despair.---I'm sure to encounter these among the next twelve months. But they must not define my year. They must not define me. If I've in any way touched your life within the past 365 days, I can only hope it was in a positive manner that your heart reacted to my presence. If not, I'm wholeheartedly sorry, and I hope your next days are of your most beautiful. Because that's what we all are. That's what this planet is, our mistakes, our achievments, our misfortunes, our souls .. That's what life is, in the purest sense of the world. That's what life is:
It's B.E.A.U.T.I.F.U.L.
Oh this has gotta be the good life
This has gotta be the good life
This could really be a good life, good life
Say oh, got this feeling that you can't fight
Like this city is on fire tonight
This could really be a good life
A good, good life
When you're happy like a fool
Let it take you over
When everything is out
You gotta take it in
Hopelessly
I feel like there might be something that I'll miss
Hopelessly
I feel like the window closes oh so quick
Hopelessly
I'm taking a mental picture of you now
'Cuz hopelessly
The hope is we have so much to feel good about
*goodnight beautiful.