"Only the Strong survive"
I wrote an entry tonight and it got erased before I pushed he "Update Journal" and so this is the attempt to rewrite the thoughts I had written down, but it probably won't sound nearly as good as the first time the thoughts streamed through my head.
I went to Gameworks tonight with brenda's kids-not the ghost Jade, sorry. I had a lot of much needed fun and the kids amused me a lot--and I guess Mia did too =) I came home and jake asked me to call him so I did. It was an unexpected, yet thoroughly enjoyable conversation. let's just say it involved pictures of his teachers and sloths [you know, the usual] I'm really happy where things are at with him right now. I'm so glad I can talk to him like I used to, normally that is. Steve's another story though. We had another drama filled conversation last night. I sat there apologizing and he sat there criticizing. It's all my fault. It's always all my fault with that kid.
jake told me on the hone tonight that he actually still reads my journal, and I'm not going to lie, it did kinda shock me. But it made me go back and read what I've written and I realized that I lie [to myself] a lot within these walls. I write how I feel, and what i write is the truth. However there are feelings I leave out on purpose. I don't lie when i write, I just leave out the rest of the story that lies within my heart. I guess even I have secrets from myself. I can't tell my secrets to the world..
If I tell the world all of my secrets I become vulnerable to the reaction produced by my feelings.
So I keep secrets inside. I tell how I feel, just not all of how I feel. No lies, just not every piece of truth. Anyway, I'm not really sure where this entry was going or what it was supposed to mean. I had more written, but like I said, it got deleted and I'm too damn lazy to retype all that shit.
I'm excited for the weekend. It's my favorite holiday. Too bad I don't have someone to cuddle up with during the firewoks. Maybe i'll bring a stuffed animal. =)
Anyway, keep smiling darlings. Life's too damn short.