carnal stirrings
so can i just say that before last night i had slept 2 out of 48 hours? can't stop won't stop fall asleep in the shower, doze off while standing up? can i just say it was all one long day since friday morning? screw coherance. final, dumb hairdressers, pretty make-up & coral dresses, jumping up and down till the floor breaks beneath you, cut feet and pimped out limos, lemme see yo hips *SWING, jealous prom dates (i could give a fuck, but on another note, i don't think i make a good event/function monogomist. i just want to dance with EVERYBODY, love EVERYBODY) but whatever- deprivation induced delerium, giggly out of control with ryan and c-foxy in my basement, then having to run half-a-mile and after stumbling up to the starting line & trailing behind all the others till the icy cold ocean (where bone marrow freezes over) lapse into a brilliantly unexpected rebirth and renewed warmthm - a lightning bolt to my bloodstream, or maybe it was just anger at getting caught in a buoy, but anyways... pull from behind and climb out of the sea like a creature and run in for first place!!! then relapse into subsequent hypothermic death in blake kennedy, sleep>? no, no lakesideeee, which was simply full of high thirteen yr olds so we migrate , fly to the cape and happy fires and dogs who clear their throats like hardcore singers and chinese food at three in the morning and snuggling snuggling snuggling
and then hot breath in my ear, lips looking for mine, stubble roving over my cheeks, whispered words and intertwined legs. i wanted to on some deep, foreign level, so i pushed forward slightly with my hips, grazed with my fingertips. i was so tired i didn't even realize what you meant at first when you rolled me on top of you, couldn't even focus enough till your mouth was trying to open mine. i wanted to so badly- it was so hard to fight- but i knew, were any other body lying next to you it would have been the same story. it was just so wierd cos its YOU, my best friend, plus you were drunk and your thoughts were probably swimmy, languid. i got sheepish, hid my head in your shoulders. "wanna go in another room?" i want to, i want to, i can't, ragggghhh. so i turned over so we were spooning and you were still trying, moving fingers down my side & touching my neck & pulling back my hair and warmth began to spread from my gut to my limbs. then you kind of sighed, rolled over, sat up and walked out of the room. i got up to follow (for what i'm not entirely sure) but you'd floated into the fully lit living room like a moth, so i just peed instead. i was buzzing all over. i didn't let you realize, but i wanted it too.
this is going to be blunt, it's late, fjfjfj
a boyfriend would be nice, obviously for soul connection but also because during times like these: GRINDGRINDGRIND, emotional rollercoasters and all the spinning and freaking out and running wheels and wasted energy, all i really wanna do is fuck.
and then hot breath in my ear, lips looking for mine, stubble roving over my cheeks, whispered words and intertwined legs. i wanted to on some deep, foreign level, so i pushed forward slightly with my hips, grazed with my fingertips. i was so tired i didn't even realize what you meant at first when you rolled me on top of you, couldn't even focus enough till your mouth was trying to open mine. i wanted to so badly- it was so hard to fight- but i knew, were any other body lying next to you it would have been the same story. it was just so wierd cos its YOU, my best friend, plus you were drunk and your thoughts were probably swimmy, languid. i got sheepish, hid my head in your shoulders. "wanna go in another room?" i want to, i want to, i can't, ragggghhh. so i turned over so we were spooning and you were still trying, moving fingers down my side & touching my neck & pulling back my hair and warmth began to spread from my gut to my limbs. then you kind of sighed, rolled over, sat up and walked out of the room. i got up to follow (for what i'm not entirely sure) but you'd floated into the fully lit living room like a moth, so i just peed instead. i was buzzing all over. i didn't let you realize, but i wanted it too.
this is going to be blunt, it's late, fjfjfj
a boyfriend would be nice, obviously for soul connection but also because during times like these: GRINDGRINDGRIND, emotional rollercoasters and all the spinning and freaking out and running wheels and wasted energy, all i really wanna do is fuck.