This Time Baby, I'll Be Bulletproof.
Ahem...
Hi Livejournal! Did you know the last time I posted an entry was 1 year and 13 days ago? Crazy town...
Who's still out there? ::squints:: Angela Panagos? You're the only one I see still updating your journal every 5 minutes. ::waves:: I miss you if you're reading this!
Looks like everyone else kinda abandoned ship. Well regardless, I don't quite care who reads this- it's for the public eye and I'm sure all of you (some of you) are dying to hear what the hell I've been up to for a year and 13 days. I'll break this entry down into segments so I'm not jumping all over the place. Ready folks? K, cause this entry may be a bit lengthy. I'm a bit hung over too, so bare with me.
My Career:
Two thumbs high up. Still at the lab- I'm not versed in all 3 areas of hematology. For the lay people, this means I play with blood, pee, and plasma all day! Yay! I also received a raise about 3 months ago which was fantastic. I really enjoy my job and coming in everyday, putting on a labcoat and playing scientist all day. How far I've come since October 2007 when I was hired here as a lab assistant. Stupidist position ever but hey, look where it got me. ASCP certified Medical Technician. Hayyyyy. Currently however, the lab is hitting some rough water and there are layoffs approaching. I have my resume and go-to contacts just in case. I'm confident however I'll be fine, but we have to prepare for the worst and hope for the best.
My Family:
Madeline, Christian and Lilly are all in school! Can you freakin believe it? All my baby loves are getting so big. Miss Madeline's birthday is coming up next week. 9 years old. God it seems like just last year I was in the city waiting to for her to come into the world. Craziness. Mom and Dad are great. Stephanie has reached a new chapter in her life and packed up and moved to somewhere I know she'll be so much happier and prosper. She's now a California girl living her dream in San Francisco. It was hard watching her go- for 23 years she's been my 2nd mother. The only one I could confide all my secrets to when mom or dad shouldn't find out. Now she's all the way across the continent. But I'm happy for her. I feel as though this will be an excellent transition for her. She moved primarily because she got offered a new and better position at JP Morgan/Chase. BUT to fill the void, we welcomed my cousin Alex to our home. He got a job working as a high performance technician in Lake Ronkomonka. He lives with us now and takes my sister's room. Not gonna lie- I like it. It's like having a roomate I can drink with during the week.
My Future:
I'm currently working up to acheiving my goal getting accepted into the Physician Assistant program at Touro in Bayshore. I've been doing volunteer efforts at my school's blood drive to accrue direct patient care contact hours. I'm shadowing a PA on Wednesday's from 9-12 to observe daily tasks, check-ups, routine physicals etc. I really do enjoy it. I'm hopeful that upon an interview, they'll accept me- I feel like I'm called to do more than be a medical technician. I want to go to work and not sit in front of a computer desk all day. I want to get up and go to work not expecting what the day will bring. I have a huge passion for the medical industry, and as a PA I know I can give back to the community at large. *I should use this for my cover letter hahah* I graduated Farmingdale State College in May with my Bachelor of Science in Bioscience. So that's degree #2 under my belt :) Watch your back real world- I'm getting expensive. By the time 2 years is over and I'm a PA I'll have 4 degrees. A BS in Health Sciences and a MS in PA studies to add on. I have ambition, I'm motivated, I wanna do it. It's going to be a huge sacrifice in my social life BUT, I can say at ease I've lived life to the fullest and therefore have no regrets cutting back for 2 years. I'll explain why next.
Present Day:
I can't even begin to describe how my circle of friends has grown exponentially. I have friends all over. Some people say I live the life of a rockstar. And ya know something, I think I almost do. I don't sit still nowadays. I just came back from the Bahamas with my crew from Florida. It was like living the life on a postcard. Drunk everyday, beach by day, party by night. Watching the sunset under the palm trees, and burying my feet in the white sand that I can see 6 feet up from the crystal blue ocean. A vacation well spent :) And a month before that, I followed the Warped Tour to Orlando and thanks to Tracey, we got backstage to see my favorite band We the Kings perform! Tracey is good friends with Travis the lead, and he singled us out to join them onstage. Epic. Epic. Epic. Type in Warped Tour Orlando- We the Kings and I should be in every single one standing behind the drummer. I've gone to so many concerts I can't even count. And there's so much more to come. This year- I want to take on the Jingle Ball b/c there are so many hot new artists out today and I want to see them all under 1 roof. I've done it all this summer. Plane, boat, car, train, I've been partying like there's no tomorrow. From the city, to the Boardy Barn, from the clubs to the bars, from the Bahamas to my backyard, there was always something worth celebrating. I'm so happy. And since my job is amazingly flexible- I get to do everything I want. Spoiled? You may say that...I love my life. And I have not one single regret to frown upon.
To the boy who found me by accident:
Ya know what's funny is that I said in a previous entry of mine many moons ago, I would never find true love again. Let's face it- Long Island is not very big and the gay community isn't much bigger. Everyone knows everyone- who's slept with who, who cheated on who, who slept with who, who's dating who etc etc etc. It's disgusting. I knew not one man in a 50 mile radius was good enough for me. I took an oath to call off the search and let the right one find me. It was as if my heart put out a call-to-arms- "You're too busy lving your life, don't let a relationship tie you down," I feel like it was telling me. I didn't have time! The last thing on my mind was getting into a serious relationship. This was all my brain doing the talking.
The heart was talking to me in another language. I felt lonely yes, but that's why my friends were there for. To make me realize that I have the greatest allis in the world and I don't need someone to make me happy. But I did. I really did want that feeling of companionship. I live such a extraordinary life I only wanted someone to share it with.
And that's when he came around. His name is Rich. I didn't quite know what to do at first- I was taken aback thinking this cannot be true. There's no way someone like him exists. I just got done with college. Really? Right now? Of all times?
Turns out he couldn't have come at a better time. The emotional attachment I have to this individual is breath taking. I sometimes can't stay focused at work because all I see is his face smiling at me when I get home. Everything about it him is so addictive. Every morning I have an e-mail on my blackberry giving me another reason why he thinks I'm beautiful. And that he cherishes every moment he has with me.
Am I missing something? A gentlemen? A great job, a clean lifestyle, motivated, ambitious, spontaneous and sexy as all hell? Clearly this is a sick joke. Eyes that can melt the polar ice caps with their emerald green hue. His all-American boy swagger. Never would I have expected someone like him to fall for a guy like me.
He tells me he wants to keep me his secret to the rest of society. "You're so perfect, I almost don't want anyone knowing about you."
Our personalities fit each other like a glove. We live off spontaneity and make plans off the drop of a hat. We spend hours just laughing at nothing at all. We have the same taste in music. I hate to sound mushy but, I'm so madly in love with this boy. He is the only star I get to hold.
My friends love him. My family adores him. Mom and dad tell me everyday- he's the one for you. He makes me want to do great things. He makes my future seem that much brighter every day. He's a cheerleading coach for a team in Holbrook called Gravity Cheer. He's also coach for Centereach High School. I tell him all the time the boss-man attitude he has is quite the turn on.
They say when you know, you know. Can't explain it, can't predict it- but when that special person comes into your life, it hits you like a brick. He's my breath of fresh air I've been gasping for.
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Well- that certainly was an update for the record books. I hope this offers some clarity to those who have questioned, "Where the hell is Phil?"
Well here I am. And this is me. And this is me the happiest person alive. My life has it's ups and downs. I don't want this entry a push in everyone's face about how perfect I am and how my life is. I hit bumps all the time. But I refuse to dwell on them. I gotta dust off and keep pushing.
And with you by my side...we can move mountains. Nothing will stand in our way.
To my friends- I love each and every one of you. I sleep sound knowing I have you guys there for me always.
To my family- Thanks for being the safety net support system I couldn't live without when things weren't going according to plan.
To myself- You're going to do amazing things from here on in. It's a bright future for you, but don't settle for what you have. You're called to do so much more. And I refuse to give up on my dreams.
To Rich- I am so in love with you. The view from here is going to be so much better with you by my side. Thank you for teaching me that there is someone out there for everyone. My diamond in the rough. Don't ever change- "If perfect is what you're looking for, then just stay the same."
To my past- You made me what I am today. I'm so much stronger because of you. I hate you, I love you, I wiill always learn from you. This time baby, I'll be bulletproof.