I don't want to go back, i just want to go forward
It seems I'm Lieutenant Commander Unrealistic Expectations. My clothes don't fit. Shouldn't they fit by now? Well, let's see, 3 weeks and 1 day ago, you were pregnant with twins. What do you think? Someday, I'll be promoted to Captain Obvious. Just keep my chin up and my nose clean. It's like being in the military -I only have 2 pair of pants that fit and those were hard enough to find. No way I'm going shopping again. I hate clothes shopping under weight loss conditions - you can imagine how it feels when my body explodes in the way women's bodies do and designers ignore it the way Creationists ignore evolution.
There's alot of positives out there today and I really can see every one of them and yet I'm crying. Hormones are awful. Recovery pains are awful. I don't want to go back to where i was because it's more fun to move forward, but as i told Ben the other night, boy, it's going to be great when i'm not in pain anymore.
I called a couple of friends today because I was very upset - not code red, but sort of yellow-orange. I texted them to ask for a call or visit before i got into the shower. It was tough to do. I can offer help, i can be asked for help, but doing the asking is a new thing. S called to check on me, and E just arrived to take me for a Dunkin Donuts iced coffee. All sorts of goodness. S says she's proud of me. I am too. It's a good thing.