May be triggering
Lately I've been having more and more trouble fighting my inner self. I will elaborate in an lj_cut momentarily. I've also been trying to get a 2nd job, with no luck. I just want to work somewhere quiet where I can help people but not cry every week :/ I need to clean my house, and do laundry, but I'm so unmotivated. I don't know what's wrong with me.
Lately my struggle with my weight has been growing heavier and heavier. I've put on a great deal of weight since my fiancé and I have been together, and even more one we moved in together. Also, after my knee injury I exercise much less.... I'm always afraid of making the injury worse (I yr post op on ACL and meniscal tears) and my lack of motivation for ANYTHING gets in my way. I constantly have the urge to smoke pot, or take Xanax (I haven't, because I have no prescription) to help me through the day. I'm feeling so hopeless and sick. I just want to hurt and get worse so someone will show compassion. But that's so fucked up. Help me.