(no subject)
gone are the days of smokin a blunt or two, enjoying a thought provoking drive home and writing lj entries to the moon and back.
so that whole crazy situation has been resolved, but its only just begun. i went and saw my lawyer a few weeks ago and he all but assured me that he'd be able to get the court date reset for another month so i could get the nessecary money in order. so i go into court the next week and i get a big fat book thrown at me. instead of getting reset for a month, the judge somehow thinks he's given me due notice to have these funds needed to resolve the case and upon knowledge of me not having them, he decides to be a nice guy and give me some time. a week. $366 in a week. awesome. and what a stressful week it was. between the gal telling me she wasnt down for me being in any more trouble and having to scramble around peddling IOUs, i had more than a few moments of hair pulling, deep exhales and temple rubbing. by 3 days until my deadline, i had arrangements made, but still felt the squeeze of the whole situation. so i went back last week with all the money and just like that, the judge was friendly and even had jokes. cool. that same day i went and setup my probation. i'm kinda psyched on what my lawyer worked out. a year of deffered probation. so if i dont get in any more trouble in the next year and succesfully complete my probation, this whole fiasco is stricken from my record. i'm almost certian that doesnt mean big brother cant see it, but at least i dont have to put it on job applications and stuff like that.
money can jump off a cliff. after all that bullshit with the court, i'm not even out of the woods yet. just this week i have to come up with $13 for a drug test and i have $75 due by the 15th for my first month of probation. then there's the $250 i have to come up with my the end of the month to pay back my IOUs. I thought i had that shit in the bag assisting for this photographer a couple of days this month, but that guy hasnt returned a couple of my phone calls and i saw a picture of him using another assistant at a similar event in houston a couple weeks back. if i dont pay these folks back, not only will i fall from their graces, but i'll feel like a conning, criminal peice of shit all the way down. There's a full time job I re-found today that would solve alot of this money trouble. $500 a week doing photo and web stuff. sounds awesome, but a lesson learned not so softly is not to get your hopes up, even if things look bright. the more i think about it and the more responsible people i talk to, the more i want to start hacking away at my financial woes. those woes are a dark and scary place, but i really need to stand up to them.
I havent been spending too much time with the friends lately. Ever since Crandall lost his job, it feels like we've all had to tighten our belts in one way or another around here. in an effort to pinch a few pennies, i havent been going out as much thus using less gas. and its not like i'm chomping at the bit to hang out with many people anyway. i feel secondary to alot of people and i hate that. I'd rather stick around here and feel like number one to someone special anyway. not to mention the weirdness of mot being able to smoke and maybe not drink anymore. and thats only the tip of the iceberg. most of the friends are killing me with the what are you doing's and where are we going's to the point where i'd rather cancell a whole night of being with them just so i dont have to endure such masked desperation. its not that i dont like them, as people...its more like i'd like them more in different circumstances. the current state of affiars is not condusive for stellar friendships. where is this grocery store where you can buy new friends?
lately some of the friend gap has been filled with family. i really enjoy hanging out with my cousins these days. whether its talking music with michaela and vinnie, swimming with sean, jumping on the trampoline for hours with ryan and dylan or watching shrek with nicole, i just love knowing those are people who know me, love me and want to be with me. not to mention the aunts, uncles and whats this, my father?! that guy. whew. night and day. night and fucking day. i think when i started at AI, he started seeing one of the managers of one of his mcdonalds. her name is irma. i met her once a couple of days after i got hit by that truck on my bike and didnt see her for a year or so and again for another couple of months. now i've seen them more in the past month than i have in almost 2 years combined. although not admitted, she's instilled alot of change in my father. no longer does he seem the unsaetible workaholic, but more the apprecitur of the things and people around him. irmas working on becoming a child psychologist and i cant help but feel like that area of expertise has been integral in breaking through the thick skull and even thicker ego of that guy. for awhile after his previous wife and he divorced and seperated, he seemed to be turning into a lonely old man, but now it seems like she's changed all that. what an awesome woman. but. as with most things, theres a downfall...a catch if you will. another old culprit strikes again. the same that has stunted the grown of relationships with my grandparents, that goddamn language barrier. i feel like irma and my minds connect very well and seem to work on a congruent plane, but goddamn. we cant just sit there and talk. whats awesome is that i feel she understands and feels the same way i do about her. i'm very much looking forward to watching this blossom.
a couple of weeks ago i experienced a phenomenon i believed in, but almost gave up on in the world today. a kindred spirit. jess came down for the weekend and with her came this guy justin. the mood for my night had earlier been set at the skatepark and i rolled up to meet them in a sleeveless shirt with some biggie smalls shades on. so murda. I walk in and theres this kid sitting across the table from jess. Plain looking, straight hair, solid colored tshirt and simple pair of shorts. he didnt say much at first, but i could tell he was gonna be awesome. a few hours later they came over to erics and we proceeded to kill the last of an ounce a bunch of us had put together. just sittin here smoking and talking with him was pretty killer. i havent met many people who are so open and welcoming of others. but then again, i dont find myself sitting down and talking to many new people in that manner in the first place. what a night...and it still wasnt over. i decided to drive back with jess to bitchface's house in conroe and in doing so i got to see the most amazing sunrise driving into and past downtown. i was still pretty blown, had good music on the mp3 player and couldnt escape the thought of this being IT. psyched. so the next day after spending some time with my family, i met back up with jess and justin. we began with headbands from dinner napkins at margartias and ended up on the roof outside of jess's window talking and talking and talking. goddamn. there are very few people i can talk to like that. in talking so much, i found out exactly why we were what we were. he and i have had so many similar experiences in life and have so many of the same mindsets as a result of those things. the previous night i brought up something about seeming to have a template for best friends and by the end of what was that night on the roof, he fit that template to a T. over the course of that weekend, it was thing after thing we found we had in common and that didnt let up until we finally parted ways. i dont know what will become of he and i, but i'm sure anxious to see and talk to him again.
the gal. what can i say? the past two weeks have been like i dream. not so much in the sense of us running through feilds of wild flowers and shit like that but more like this is how i always imagined things being. not once in the this two week span have I thought those once so prevalent thoughts of distress and dismay when its come to her. to have this girl whom i adore feel the way she does about me, is downright dreamy. i know the days of this being the norm will come, but as of right motherfucking now, i'm so psyched on that girl.
I got some pictures back last week that i was really really happy with. I shot them on what i want to be my black and white film. Agfa Scala. So awesome. Its a black and white slide film. The only one of its kind. This is about the 5th or so roll of it i've shot with my TLR and i love how they work together. The stuff i was most psyched on was a tailwhip and footjam nose pick from a bank in huntsville by baldy and brian hilton owning the conroe pool. I have like 5 useables from bryan...straight up and down alleyop pocket airs, pocket airs in the tiles, and carves to the tiles. I had a few from the same pool with baldy that i shot before bryans and the exposure was off in all of those. I kinda had a feeling they would be, but i shot em like that anyway. It was kinda cool to go back and get the exposures dead on when i shot with bryan, seeing as though i still dont have a light meter. I'm sending them to chase to get scanned, so i'll probably post them up soon or show them to anyone who wants to see.
i'm ready to for things to change. right along with the change with the gal, i want something new with this goddamn routine. things will change. watch.
so that whole crazy situation has been resolved, but its only just begun. i went and saw my lawyer a few weeks ago and he all but assured me that he'd be able to get the court date reset for another month so i could get the nessecary money in order. so i go into court the next week and i get a big fat book thrown at me. instead of getting reset for a month, the judge somehow thinks he's given me due notice to have these funds needed to resolve the case and upon knowledge of me not having them, he decides to be a nice guy and give me some time. a week. $366 in a week. awesome. and what a stressful week it was. between the gal telling me she wasnt down for me being in any more trouble and having to scramble around peddling IOUs, i had more than a few moments of hair pulling, deep exhales and temple rubbing. by 3 days until my deadline, i had arrangements made, but still felt the squeeze of the whole situation. so i went back last week with all the money and just like that, the judge was friendly and even had jokes. cool. that same day i went and setup my probation. i'm kinda psyched on what my lawyer worked out. a year of deffered probation. so if i dont get in any more trouble in the next year and succesfully complete my probation, this whole fiasco is stricken from my record. i'm almost certian that doesnt mean big brother cant see it, but at least i dont have to put it on job applications and stuff like that.
money can jump off a cliff. after all that bullshit with the court, i'm not even out of the woods yet. just this week i have to come up with $13 for a drug test and i have $75 due by the 15th for my first month of probation. then there's the $250 i have to come up with my the end of the month to pay back my IOUs. I thought i had that shit in the bag assisting for this photographer a couple of days this month, but that guy hasnt returned a couple of my phone calls and i saw a picture of him using another assistant at a similar event in houston a couple weeks back. if i dont pay these folks back, not only will i fall from their graces, but i'll feel like a conning, criminal peice of shit all the way down. There's a full time job I re-found today that would solve alot of this money trouble. $500 a week doing photo and web stuff. sounds awesome, but a lesson learned not so softly is not to get your hopes up, even if things look bright. the more i think about it and the more responsible people i talk to, the more i want to start hacking away at my financial woes. those woes are a dark and scary place, but i really need to stand up to them.
I havent been spending too much time with the friends lately. Ever since Crandall lost his job, it feels like we've all had to tighten our belts in one way or another around here. in an effort to pinch a few pennies, i havent been going out as much thus using less gas. and its not like i'm chomping at the bit to hang out with many people anyway. i feel secondary to alot of people and i hate that. I'd rather stick around here and feel like number one to someone special anyway. not to mention the weirdness of mot being able to smoke and maybe not drink anymore. and thats only the tip of the iceberg. most of the friends are killing me with the what are you doing's and where are we going's to the point where i'd rather cancell a whole night of being with them just so i dont have to endure such masked desperation. its not that i dont like them, as people...its more like i'd like them more in different circumstances. the current state of affiars is not condusive for stellar friendships. where is this grocery store where you can buy new friends?
lately some of the friend gap has been filled with family. i really enjoy hanging out with my cousins these days. whether its talking music with michaela and vinnie, swimming with sean, jumping on the trampoline for hours with ryan and dylan or watching shrek with nicole, i just love knowing those are people who know me, love me and want to be with me. not to mention the aunts, uncles and whats this, my father?! that guy. whew. night and day. night and fucking day. i think when i started at AI, he started seeing one of the managers of one of his mcdonalds. her name is irma. i met her once a couple of days after i got hit by that truck on my bike and didnt see her for a year or so and again for another couple of months. now i've seen them more in the past month than i have in almost 2 years combined. although not admitted, she's instilled alot of change in my father. no longer does he seem the unsaetible workaholic, but more the apprecitur of the things and people around him. irmas working on becoming a child psychologist and i cant help but feel like that area of expertise has been integral in breaking through the thick skull and even thicker ego of that guy. for awhile after his previous wife and he divorced and seperated, he seemed to be turning into a lonely old man, but now it seems like she's changed all that. what an awesome woman. but. as with most things, theres a downfall...a catch if you will. another old culprit strikes again. the same that has stunted the grown of relationships with my grandparents, that goddamn language barrier. i feel like irma and my minds connect very well and seem to work on a congruent plane, but goddamn. we cant just sit there and talk. whats awesome is that i feel she understands and feels the same way i do about her. i'm very much looking forward to watching this blossom.
a couple of weeks ago i experienced a phenomenon i believed in, but almost gave up on in the world today. a kindred spirit. jess came down for the weekend and with her came this guy justin. the mood for my night had earlier been set at the skatepark and i rolled up to meet them in a sleeveless shirt with some biggie smalls shades on. so murda. I walk in and theres this kid sitting across the table from jess. Plain looking, straight hair, solid colored tshirt and simple pair of shorts. he didnt say much at first, but i could tell he was gonna be awesome. a few hours later they came over to erics and we proceeded to kill the last of an ounce a bunch of us had put together. just sittin here smoking and talking with him was pretty killer. i havent met many people who are so open and welcoming of others. but then again, i dont find myself sitting down and talking to many new people in that manner in the first place. what a night...and it still wasnt over. i decided to drive back with jess to bitchface's house in conroe and in doing so i got to see the most amazing sunrise driving into and past downtown. i was still pretty blown, had good music on the mp3 player and couldnt escape the thought of this being IT. psyched. so the next day after spending some time with my family, i met back up with jess and justin. we began with headbands from dinner napkins at margartias and ended up on the roof outside of jess's window talking and talking and talking. goddamn. there are very few people i can talk to like that. in talking so much, i found out exactly why we were what we were. he and i have had so many similar experiences in life and have so many of the same mindsets as a result of those things. the previous night i brought up something about seeming to have a template for best friends and by the end of what was that night on the roof, he fit that template to a T. over the course of that weekend, it was thing after thing we found we had in common and that didnt let up until we finally parted ways. i dont know what will become of he and i, but i'm sure anxious to see and talk to him again.
the gal. what can i say? the past two weeks have been like i dream. not so much in the sense of us running through feilds of wild flowers and shit like that but more like this is how i always imagined things being. not once in the this two week span have I thought those once so prevalent thoughts of distress and dismay when its come to her. to have this girl whom i adore feel the way she does about me, is downright dreamy. i know the days of this being the norm will come, but as of right motherfucking now, i'm so psyched on that girl.
I got some pictures back last week that i was really really happy with. I shot them on what i want to be my black and white film. Agfa Scala. So awesome. Its a black and white slide film. The only one of its kind. This is about the 5th or so roll of it i've shot with my TLR and i love how they work together. The stuff i was most psyched on was a tailwhip and footjam nose pick from a bank in huntsville by baldy and brian hilton owning the conroe pool. I have like 5 useables from bryan...straight up and down alleyop pocket airs, pocket airs in the tiles, and carves to the tiles. I had a few from the same pool with baldy that i shot before bryans and the exposure was off in all of those. I kinda had a feeling they would be, but i shot em like that anyway. It was kinda cool to go back and get the exposures dead on when i shot with bryan, seeing as though i still dont have a light meter. I'm sending them to chase to get scanned, so i'll probably post them up soon or show them to anyone who wants to see.
i'm ready to for things to change. right along with the change with the gal, i want something new with this goddamn routine. things will change. watch.