I decided to start writing again...
a couple of days ago I almost deleted this jounral...I don't want a record of old memories that I've been trying to forget. I don't want to ever look back again on that shit. I might just abandon this one and create a new one. (I've been doing that a lot lately.)
I came home from school early: bad head ache again, felt like someone kicked the shit out of my emotions, ready to puke, and on top it all, I have fucking cramps because I'm due for blood tomorrow. I hate my uterus.
I got in an argument with my mom this morning on the way to school. like all arguments, she just put words into my mouth and told me how I felt. I left the car crying and pissed off.
I hate the way some people tell you to follow yer dreams and when you do they tell you that you'll never make it.
I fucking hate this point in life. I want something else. I'm really considdering dropping out, or just not going back next year - even tho chris keeps tell me it gets better. I don't care, I just don't want to be in school. I want a job. I need a job. I can't want until february 18. I think I'm going to try to get a job at hot topic...I know they don't care if yer pierced. :)
linzy was in school today which was helpful. she kind of cheered me up. actually, she just kind of motivated me more to get a job and drop out because that's what I really want. we decided that once she find someone with a credit card, we're going to order a shit load of piercing needles, recieving tubes, body jewelry - and hell, maybe one day, an autoclave! and we're going to pierce the shit out of each other in places mom and dad can't see - navels, nipples, septums, scrumpers, tongue webs, genitals, whatever! and maybe a few ear piercings since they usually go unnoticed.
chris is s'posed to come over tomorrow. I miss him. a lot. I want to take a damn long nap and then fuck the rest of the day. yeah, sounds good.
I fucking hope tomorrow is better than today was.
I came home from school early: bad head ache again, felt like someone kicked the shit out of my emotions, ready to puke, and on top it all, I have fucking cramps because I'm due for blood tomorrow. I hate my uterus.
I got in an argument with my mom this morning on the way to school. like all arguments, she just put words into my mouth and told me how I felt. I left the car crying and pissed off.
I hate the way some people tell you to follow yer dreams and when you do they tell you that you'll never make it.
I fucking hate this point in life. I want something else. I'm really considdering dropping out, or just not going back next year - even tho chris keeps tell me it gets better. I don't care, I just don't want to be in school. I want a job. I need a job. I can't want until february 18. I think I'm going to try to get a job at hot topic...I know they don't care if yer pierced. :)
linzy was in school today which was helpful. she kind of cheered me up. actually, she just kind of motivated me more to get a job and drop out because that's what I really want. we decided that once she find someone with a credit card, we're going to order a shit load of piercing needles, recieving tubes, body jewelry - and hell, maybe one day, an autoclave! and we're going to pierce the shit out of each other in places mom and dad can't see - navels, nipples, septums, scrumpers, tongue webs, genitals, whatever! and maybe a few ear piercings since they usually go unnoticed.
chris is s'posed to come over tomorrow. I miss him. a lot. I want to take a damn long nap and then fuck the rest of the day. yeah, sounds good.
I fucking hope tomorrow is better than today was.